Tutor advised we stop 11+ tutoring.

[PhoebeMcPeePee]

Following on from my post last month about DS's lack of motivation & enthusiasm for 11+ prep, his tutor has just told us that she doesn't feel he will pass the test & advised us to start considering alternative secondary schools. Looking over the work he's been doing including some practise papers over Easter, I don't disagree and was the one asking for the update as I too had doubts but still, it is quite hard to be told your child isn't as bright as you (& he) previously thought!

Anyway, I know DS will want to keep going as all his friends are doing tutoring and/or fairly intensive coaching at home and foolishly we've been bigging-up the grammar in an attempt to motivate him with 11+ prep work so of course he's got his heart set on a particular school .

Do we stand firm and say no he can't sit the test or stop the tutoring but let him do it and deal with the consequences of a fail? Unfortunately we have no idea which school he'll end up at so can't even rave about the comprehensive alternatives!
Any advice?

uplifting stories of your DC passing the 11+ against all odds and then thriving at grammar selfish but appreciated

In terms of motivation, is there anything that your DS is passionate about that you can link to the school? For instance, my DS was good at doing the work but at the start of Year 5 hadn’t made the link between working hard (including the homework) to getting into the school. He is mad about football so we took him to watch the Year 7 school team play in a match (helped that family friends had a Year 7 boy there). He loved it, the standard of football was great, coach was vocal and they all got “team snacks” at half time. He really knuckled down after that !!

Thanks everyone for the feedback. After a long chat DS & I have devised a weekly timetable he's happy with that covers the 4 areas with 2 extra half hour sessions working with DH & I on his weaker subjects (VR & maths). We're not going to find another tutor but I've agreed to book him onto a day course at half term & 3 day course with mock exams in the summer if. He's still willing & motivated. If this gets his through it great, if not we're investigating other school options in the meantime.

That sounds like a good plan Phoebe

For what it's worth I think you have made the right decision as at least you won't be left wondering "what if" years down the line whatever the outcome.

Good luck to you and your DS.

Some tutors - may not be the case in Kent, but it certainly is in areas with only a few grammar schools - market themselves on their '100% success rate' ... which they protect very carefully by e.g. requiring evidence of academic capability (including in some cases pre-tutoring tutoring) before taking the child on and by 'weeding out' any tutees who might be in any way borderline before they take the test.

So while the tutor may well be offering a disinterested appraisal of your DS's actual likelihood of passing the test, she may also to an extent also be protecting her own reputation / results. Your plan going forward sounds like a good one.