Can't shake off my 'doubts'

[Peony]

Hi guys-I don't post very often but would love some advice.My little boy has just turned 4 and started school after easter. My catchment school that he attends seems 'fine' but is this enough? The ofsted report isn't brilliant and the school out of our catchment (but close by) wouldn't even let us visit as they are over subscribed so we couldn't even compare the 2 to make a proper decision. I am also worried that my son is too young to be attending school full time but the school are 'encouraging' us to send him full time as there are a certain amount of activities they must complete before starting at 5 therefor I feel my hands are tied to a certain extent. sorry to ramble on-I just have a pit in my stomach!

WWW, your DS went into Reception in September because he was still 4 - Droile's would actually be 5 by the time he started if she waits until next year, so he would have to go into Y1. (After a few years as A School Parent you get used to thinking of "years" as Sept-Aug rather than Jan-Dec!) (School jargon is "cohorts". Always makes me think of Roman soldiers. )

Tough one. We are in same boat - ds2 is 4 in May, but here all the children go to school in Sep when 4, so the nurseries/playgroups refuse to take them at that age, and are not set up to cater for them, plus I would lose his place at a 'good school' (Have you checked whether this is the case for you?) So I feel I have no choice. Ds2 will cope, but will be very tired.

We moved house from a different system, so ds1 didn't start school until he was 5 and 2 months (July birthday). Educationally he certainly benefited from having time one-to-one with me (3 mornings a week), and was so not ready for school at 4. However, he did really struggle to fit in at school when he went straight into Yr 1 (we moved so he was with children who'd been at sch for a yr already - as your ds will). In reception they do learn a lot about 'school stuff' - playground behaviour, what to do in assembly, walking round school in single file, etc.

I keep agonising over this, but I feel I have no choice, and ds2 IS different from ds1, and I think he will cope OK. If it had been ds1 (who is rather highly-strung), I would be agonising even more. The reception at our school is fairly relaxed - they do respect that some of the children are very young, and the afternoons are pretty much free play.

In our old county a friend had her girl in nursery until school, and the nursery staff were NNEB rather than teachers, and she certainly felt that her dd was ready for a bit more input on that side of things during the last 6 months ...

Bit garbled and incoherent, but I I hope that helps you!

Thanks everyone, it is helping. A teacher friend with the same reservations as me is quite worried about this issue generally. She feels he may cope at school, but things will go pear shaped at home. I can't see him coping.
We are now thinking of looking at our second choice school to see if they have 2 intakes.
Still very confused.

Janh, thanks for the explanation, I didn't realise that. Yep, I'm sure I'll get used to being A School Parent when I've been one for longer

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted before but this thread really caught my eye.

My ds has a June birthday and I had heard of children starting school at 4 so I checked this out a while back. Like most of us, dh and I both started school at 5 - a sensible age!

We only have one school 'choice' (London, all oversubscribed) with only Sept intake. School said ds would have to join Yr 1 if I kept him at home until 5. Also said I would have to teach him how to sit still at a table and 'do work' and other stuff as they would not have the time to address things he should have learned in Reception! Upset me a lot. Stupidly thought what's best for ds would be key factor...only if I get him 'statemented' so the school doesn't get a choice...

I was very worried about this as ds is a late-talker - he will be 3 soon and is just starting first words. It runs in the family - dh started to speak at 4 and had only 50 words at 5. Same with aunt and uncle. Speech therapy made no difference as it's a brain development thing (anyone read 'Einstein Syndrome' or 'Late Talking Children' by Thomas Sowell?) which progresses on its own schedule and can't be pushed. Dh was fine once conversation/comprehension really kicked in - now has Masters degree etc. Dh is adamant ds should not school even earlier than he did.

Same worries mentioned by you all - early start = struggling/put off school or late start = behind others/struggling. Some choice!

Got fed up with fighting and dh is now out of work. Moving to Australia for better education, medical care and some sun! School year in Oz starts in Jan. Rules vary by state but in Melbourne children cannot start school that year unless they will be 5 by 30 April (or is 15th? sorry). So ds will start at 5 yrs 7 months in Reception with all the other kids his age - no worries about being behind. Language should be adequate by then if ds follows the family pattern. Phew!

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

Very very best wishes to all of you dealing with the education system and trying to make it match what your instincts tell you is right for your kids. Trust yourselves and hang in there.

Thanks for your really interesting post JoLyn. It sounds like you're doing the right thing. I wish those in power in this country would get their thick heads around this issue.
Best wishes.