9 year old able to remember what is needed for school?

[wangle99]

DH has just phoned me from the car, DD has forgetting her flute, music bag and prep folder. I had pointed out to her they were packed and she just needed to pick them up but she walked past them and didn't pick them up.

At 9 years old am I wrong to expect her to pick them up without putting them in her hand????

Typically I have something this morning on so cannot trek them up to the school AGAIN .

Arghghghgh

So enlighten me, would your 9 year old remember? Bearing in mind she's been having flute lessons on a Wednesday for god knows how long.

'forgotten' her flute

something 'on' this morning

(can I go back to bed? lol)

my dds are a lot younger, but a nine year old should certainly be able to remeber those things, even if there weren't stood there waiting for her. Maybe she should also get all her stuff ready too? Givivn her more responsibly might help her memory.

I've got this all to come!

Belgo - she does normally pack her stuff (once I've reminded her) but I did it last night as I realised she'd gone to bed without it being done and there is never enough time in the morning!!! Perhaps that's why she forgot it because I packed it (or am I making excuses for her?!?!)

I think in general I would expect my nine-year-old to remember, but I'd expect the occasional lapse. There's a lot to be said for letting her take the consequences - it really does help them learn

I teach music in a school and some 9 year olds remember their music and to come to their lesson (same time each week), and some don't (and I go and get them). And it's always one or the other, and it never changes. And it has no relationship to interest, talent, or practise, or lesson time (kid straight after break forgets - kid in middle of lunch time remembers despite having no wristwatch).

My DD was still forgetting her clarinet sometimes at secondary school! - though I suspect by that time it might have been because she was getting bored with it....
Sometimes I would take it in, sometimes not, depending on what I was doing & how nice I was feeling.

i don't think 9 is too young at all to remember to take what they need for school - my ds is 7 and needs to remember lunch, reading folder and hearing aid equipment every day. depending on what day it is he also needs football kit/ homework folder etc. i used to have a checklist up on the door for him which helped a lot, and on days he needs to take extra things, i will say "ds do you have x??etc", but agree with halgerda - if they forget the item too many times, letting them take the consequences seems to jog memories far more than any mummies panting up to school, item in hand!!

My DD will be 9 in Jan. We always make sure she puts everything she needs for school by the front door the night before so nothing is rushed or panicky in the morning. She still forgets to pick her bag/violin/swimming stuff/etc up about 50% of the time. I've come to think that she just has a scatty personality. We write everything on the calendar and she reads it as we are making breakfast. We also have a check list up of everything she needs to jog her memory - that seems to help a little. It means that I can say 'Have you got everything you need?' and it gives her a bit of responsibility, instead of me ranting 'Have you got your violin/PE kit/swimming bag/book bag/coat/shoes/brain/etc/etc?'

I don't think my 9 year old would remember about taking in an instrument for a lesson - fortunately she plays the tin whistle so keeps it in her bag all the time! But her 8 year old sister plays the guitar and never forgets to take it in. Agree with threebob - it's personality based. At 15 I was terrible at remembering things so I expect dd1 will be the same

LOL jellyhead!

I must be a dragon. My DD was making her own packed lunch when she was 9. Me: "If you don't want school dinners, I'm not making bloody sandwiches every day." Plus by 10 yrs old was getting herself up, washed, dressed and to and from school without supervision.

She's 11 now. Still forgets to brush her teeth on a regular basis. It's our only sticking point, really.

Depends on the child. One 8 year old twin can barely remember if he is dressed or not. The other checks the calendars the night before, tells his twin which lessson he will have to leave during the day to get to his music lesson and when I ask him tells me what is needed for school that day. He is very unusual. Most children don't remember. 22 year old was an hour late up today... some of them are just born that way. In my view though your husband was responsible for not doing the last minute check if he drove her to school.

When I've been away sometimes recently out at 5am or whatever the twins have had to get up dressed, breakfast, ties on without me and one day they didn't wake their older siblings and just walked to school (end of our road) which is pretty good for just turned 8. Amusingly they didn't bother to wake the older ones who were then late for their own stuff.

Hmm so I guess if she's not remembering it now chances are she won't

Think the consequences will be quite clear if she keeps forgetting it - she has a music scholarship so if isn't playing music....

And before anyone wonders she actually loves playing it and loves her music teacher to bits so isn't leaving it behind to avoid lessons.

I'm wondering whether to put note on back of door but I worry I'll forget that.

My DD is 10 and a lazy little mare. I have to do practically everything for her. Having said that, she's quite capable of making cheese on toast or something like that, but when it comes to school stuff she just can't be arsed. I know I need to get tough with her and keep reminding her that next year at Secondary school she's really going to have to get her shit together as S/school won't accept the excuses that primary school does.

DS1 isn't very well organised, but his school encourage them to take responsibility for themselves from yr3 and he is gradually learnind and improving. So for them "mum forgot" is not a reasonable excuse.

We've deliberately and actively stepped back from doing their organising for them, or even checking up on them, and I must say it's really liberating!

DD (also 9) has to be reminded regularly about an extra things she needs to take in - I've had lots of extra trips to the school this term because she's forgotten something or other - she's getting a wall planner as one of her Christmas presents this year!

my ds is nearly 13 and we still have days like this
He is horrendous
if it's a one off or infequent it is quite normal
if she is forgetting stuff every day, then like me you have your work cut out for you

Sometimes I leave things propped against the door so you cannot leave the house without seeing the item but even that sometimes doesn't work.

My dh leaves things by the front door so he won't forget them. He still forgets them though, then I trip over them when I leave the house

DD has just been down to tell me she can't find her spelling list. I go up to check again in her school bag - it's right there

lol belgo. my dh is just the same so i stand no chance with my 3dc. Forgets his lunch on a frequent basis. managed to lose his credit card yesterday and found it in his wallet once he had cancelled it!

I read this thread with interest, as I've just had to go to the school with my 11-year-old DS1's clarinet. It was ON THE DOORMAT. He must have stepped over it to get out the house in the morning. My other DS, 10, remembers everything and packs his bag the night before. I think it's a personality thing that will never change. I have visions of DS1 being an adult and phoning me to bring his briefcase to work!