How do other working parents manage?

[Haahooooo]

My two DC are still in nursery but I'm starting to plan childcare for when DC1 starts school next year.

I only work part time but that still means I need before and after school care on three days every week.

The schools we are looking at are not very close to us which I think probably ruled out childminders (?). They don't generally have before and after school clubs, or there is a waiting list. I'm not very keen on having an au pair.

So what do others do? Is it possible to get before and after school nannies? I've found a local nursery that offers wrap around care but they don't cover all the schools we are looking at. Anything I haven't thought of or should I just give up work?

TIA

There must be SOME schools in your area with wraparound care. So apply to those, and work say two long days, and 3 shorter days? That works for me. Then in the holidays, I share the childcare with another working mum, so say, I have all the kids on a mon and tue whilst she works long, then swap over for the next two days, then farm out to grandparents for a long weekend/week.
Or if there really is no after school care, then take turns with another mum to have the kids on certain days. It can work, we all do it!!! Good luck!

ps - I spread my work over onto a saturday morning too.

I really appreciate all the advice, thank you. It seems we are very unlucky to live in an area where none of the schools (state or private) offer adequate after school care so we will have to rely on other solutions.

The easiest definitely would be local state school plus childminder. The private schools (two) we are looking at are quite a bit further away in the wrong direction, and I expect will only work with a nanny. Sixth former probably won't work as we'd need someone who could drive.

Odd as it sounds it does feel tricky to choose the state school though as we've worked (and still work) so hard and saved money, always with giving the DC the best possible education in mind (I do realise we are very lucky to be in a position to choose at all, and that private isn't always better than state).

Aargh. We have another couple of months to make up our minds, and I do feel better informed thanks to all the advice.

After school nanny here - couldn't manage any other way (particularly with homework )

PS My sixth former drives and does drive the children at least a couple of times a week. There are plenty of sensible sixth formers with their own car - especially at 18-19 years old.

A lot of people get an au pair at this stage - worth considering if you have the space

Ah yes I hadn't quite thought about the fact that some sixth formers can drive!

Not very keen on an au pair but will consider if all else fails :)

My son's school is just round the corner from where I work, but 20 miles from home and I and my DH work full time hours Monday to Friday. They do have a good after school club but because of other after school activities we rarely use it. The children can go in any time from 8am although school starts at 8.30am. I drop off at 8am so that I'm at my desk by 8.10am and I work through lunch every day so that I can do enough hours to be able to leave work at 3.45pm for pick up. We scrape together the money for private for various reasons, one of which being that for DS to go to our local state primary I would have had to give up my good, secure job in the middle of the financial crisis (back in 2011) as going part-time wasn't an option in my role or indeed for my DH who works 20 miles from home in the opposite direction so 40 miles from DS school. At the local village school the day doesn't start until 8.45am and finishes at 3.15pm meaning I wouldn't have got to work until 9.30am and would have had to leave at 2.30pm so I would never have fitted my hours in.
I can fully understand why people end up giving up work when children start school and if I could have afforded to I would have but in my case without my wage coming in we wouldn't have been able to pay the mortgage!
Many of the other parents at the school work and a small handful use nannies and au pairs but most rely on after school clubs, swapping favours with other parents (difficult in our case as we live so far from the school) and grandparent help but we couldn't afford a nanny and have no family to help. The holidays are a nightmare as being private they are also longer. My DS spends most of the holidays at various day camps, I hate that this has to happen but I simply don't have any alternative and my husband and I cover the remainder from our leave which we take alternately to cover it all so we haven't had any time off together as a family since DS started school four years ago.

doesn't the private school offer any after school activities? Surely all the children can't be gone by 3.30pm??

Yes they do Cosmo but most are not available for reception age, and also they only give me an extra hour...

Most working parents I know use before and afterschool nannies. There are plenty of advertisements on gumtree and other childcare websites. The idea that you would just quit your job is preposterous. Who is going to pay the bills? DC only get more expensive as they get older.

You say your nearest state school is outstanding. I honestly struggle with why on earth you would spend your savings on a private school when you have an outstanding state school 200 m away. Your childcare options will be easier & cheaper too.

Have you been to see the local school?

If you are determined to go private why not wait until the DCs are older?

What kind of private school is it?

I would be tempted to go state as it is good and local and book after school activities for your days off.

I work 3 days too and have one in reception and one at nursery with 2 years to go before he starts school.

I have kept ds2 in nursery and ds1 goes to a childminder both before and after school. I am really happy with her, and ds1 loves it. He's got to know a few older children at school who come to see him in the playground and it's working well.

Whereas dp and I used to do either one drop off or pick up each, we now usually sort one child each.

I like that ds1 gets to go to a 'home' after school even if it's not ours. He has been so tired since he started but it seems to be working well. I was just like you a year ago about the logistics of everything and looked at all sorts of options for both children to make it work.

Ds2 is going to the childminder one day a week after Christmas but staying at nursery for 2 days.

Hmm I'm not sure the idea of quitting my job is "preposterous" - I don't think I'd be the first mum to do this! But I don't really think I will as my job is important to us / me for a number of reasons...

Yes, we've been to see the local state school and liked it very much. It's definitely still on our list as it would be a simpler option. As mentioned I think it's class size that's the main issue, and possibly also the fact that they don't prepare for secondary entry exams, but of course understand we could use tutors.

But anyway this wasn't meant to be a state v private discussion - it's been very useful to read suggestions / experiences of childcare solutions. Thank you

I found that friendship groups and party invites when they were little were far better for the local kids, those that travelled were sort of overlooked a bit.
They all needed childcare after school too.
Whereas the local mums sort of pooled picking up at different times, such as after school, or an activity.
Your children could walk home by themselves after a few years. At y6 you may not need the childcare for long.

If none of the schools offer wraparound care, then there will be many many other parents in the same situation as you. So ask about to find out what other parents do. If you don't know other parents it's worth asking the school. They may be able to direct you at e.g. childmindersthat pick up.

the fact that they don't prepare for secondary entry exams, but of course understand we could use tutors.

Don't be fooled by a private primary's boast list of 'secondary school places won'. It's not necessarily all down to the school - due to the arms race, many people pay for private and tutoring.

It seems bonkers to overlook an outstanding primary school round the corner which would work better logistically.

If private is important to you why not go with your excellent local state for now and then move them in Yr 6 when they'll be far more self sufficient anyway. They'll then have a year to prepare for any entry exams.

For now get yourself a lovely local childminder and plan some 'enriching' activities for the days you're around. TBH in Reception and Yr1 they're too knackered for loads of extra curricular stuff - one or two nights of Cubs/martial arts/swimming is more than enough for them and for you!

If private is important to you why not go with your excellent local state for now and then move them in Yr 6 when they'll be far more self sufficient anyway.

There is a lot of movement at the beginning of KS2 as parents worry about getting their DC into good secondaries and junior schools try to manoeuvre out those DC who will ruin their statistics.

Small class sizes at either village schools or private schools can be a disadvantage as it provides less options for friends and peers. This can be a particular issue if the gender ratio is not very even. Children can get very tired so are you sure that the private school journey (plus petrol money) is worth it