Teachers referring to themselves as "Mrs" in emails to parents

[Mynameismummy]

Does anyone else think it's a bit weird that a teacher would sign an email to you (parent) as "Mrs X"? Obviously, all the teachers are called "Miss X" or "Mrs X" by both children and parents and will refer to each other that way. All the older teachers do what I do - ie write to someone as "Dear Mrs whoever", but sign off "Firstname Lastname"...but all the younger ones sign themselves "Mrs X". Obviously not an earth shattering issue, but I just find it a bit disconcerting, as though they are treating you like one of the children!

[bluestrawhat]

What a lot of nonsense. You don't call your Dr Dr Smith because you don't see her or him frequently, you do it because of professional respect. And that should be mutual. I address parents by Mr, Ms or Mrs and expect them to do the same. We are not friends, but have a professional relationship.

[PandasRock]

What is nonsense is the need to use formal terms to convey professional respect. As I said above, I am in daily contact with a huge range of professionals, from architects to planners and project managers thanks to a massive building project. I am on first name terms with all of them, and wouldn't expect it any other way. I have absolutely no knowledge of their fields of expertise, but we are all adults and perfectly capable of communicating with each other in a courteous manner without insisting on a formal barrier.

[roguedad]

I can live with or without titles. i use the Mr/Miss/Mrs with the teachers if there are pupils around but if I run into them without the kids away from school I might use a first name with one of them I have known for a while. I think it's important that the pupils communicate respect and the parents should uphold that. It's not really the same as one adult dealing with their architect. It's maybe a bit stuffy to use it in a private e-mail to a parent but I do not really care.

[BoboChic]

I hate this too. So old fashioned.

[bluestrawhat]

Pandas, it is completely different when you are communicating with people you work with. Of course I call colleagues by their first names but not in front of the pupils or parents when they would still be Mrs, Mr or Ms. This would be the same in a doctors' surgery or hospital.

Do you call your Doctor by his or her first name?

[Theydontknowweknowtheyknow]

Thanks OP! DS's LSAs do this and it drives me potty. It feels so patronising. Plus I'm never going to call myself "Mrs Theydontknowweknowtheyknow " so always use my first name which gives an imbalanced power dynamic.

I know they have their reasons and it's not a big deal but it makes me feel uncomfortable too.

[bluestrawhat]

They, do you feel like that about your Doctor too or are you on first name terms with him/her?

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

DH and I are currently having lots of contact with a couple of my DD's teachers, for various reasons. I am a MS and always have been, yet as they know I have a DH I am always MRS pearls. I would rather be called Purple but if they can't bring themselves to, at least use the correct title. When men start denoting their marital status in their titles, then I will

I think everyone should be on first name terms anyway personally and would totally do away with titles. I am aware, funnily enough, that my GP is a trained and qualified doctor, whether I call her Doctor Smith or Jane has no bearing on the respect I have for her, nor, I dare say, the treatment she provides to me.

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

I forgot to say, my GP has actually said "call me Jane" (NCed obvs) but I wonder if this is because I see her regularly and have gone through many boxes of tissues in her presence She is fab and I thank her regularly and give her biscuits at Christmas in recognition of her fabness. I am aware she is not a friend but a professional providing care however - I don't think the lack of titles blurs any boundaries.

[DonnaRocksMyWorld]

I find this all totally bizarre.

Where I went to school (not UK/USA/EU) at primary school we called teachers 'Aunty FIRST NAME' and at secondary and university just 'professor FIRST NAME'. It worked just fine even with multiple first names at the same school.

[DonnaRocksMyWorld]

I should have pointed out that this was at a top private school in South America

[Grazia1984]

Hate this first name business. I am Ms G to everyone, never my first name. I wince every time I get an automatic marketing email with my first name. In fact now on line I register as Ms AB [ surname ] so they don't have the technology to be so demeaning as to use my first name when I am a stranger to that company!

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

I can think of lots of ways people women are demeaned in society but I don't think being called by my name is particularly demeaning...

[Grazia1984]

I do. English culture is you only use first names when you have known someone for a good long while.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

BrendaandEddie
"oh teacher are twats like this"

Its the schools policy that teachers sign all written contact Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms to keep contact "formal2.

But then there are twats who are happy to blame teachers.

[jubblie]

It's all a bit silly really. Who cares if a parent knows your first name? Loads of schools have full names for teaching staff on their website.

I don't understand the comparison with doctors. I know my G.P's first name though. Not sure why - it must be up on the wall somewhere in the waiting room.

[jubblie]

I do hate it when teachers call parents 'Mum' or 'Dad' though. That really is patronising and unnecessary!

[Alibabsandthe40Musketeers]

Teachers at our infants and juniors sign off either first name and last name, or some use Mr/Miss/Ms/Mrs last name.

I would be very surprised if any of them called me by my first name, I am Mrs X to them, and I wouldn't call them by their first name unless invited to.

Thankfully none of this has ever come up as an issue..

[Grazia1984]

Indeed. Mum and dad is never said here. It is a class issue. I am mummy and nor would I want to be referred to by a teacher as that - I am esteemed leading lawyer (laughing as I type), not mum mummy or my first name. Just as I would never dream of calling a teacher by their first name.

[PurpleHairAndPearls]

Grazia, I'm am surprised you haven't invited them to call you "Esteemed Leading Lawyer"

[Longislandicetee]

This is so interesting. I wrote to Dd's teacher a few weeks ago. Addressed it to Miss teacher but signed off Blingy. Every other teacher in same circumstances has responded back to Blingy and signed off first name. New teacher addressed me as Blingy and signed off Miss teacher. My first thought "Twat".

[SarahSavesTheDay]

Without exception the teachers at my children's school use Mr/Mrs in referring to both themselves and the parents, it is clearly a mandate from the head.

[crispytruffle]

I don't really care, it is so trivial in the scheme of things. If we get a letter home it is usually signed first and last name with head of xxx underneath.

[tcha]

Hi,
I'm a young teacher of tweens and teens... at least in my own case, I can confirm that signing off as a Mrs. is a confidence thing... I don't want parents to conflate my youth with inadequacy, so as much as possible I try to avoid the question of age altogether. From all your comments on here, I've discovered it's counterproductive- a rookie mistake.

I've since set an automatic signature to 'Firstname Lastname.' But I would guess some teachers sign off as 'Mrs. Lastname' because it's one less thing to think about. Since making an automatic signature, I'm now a little paranoid I'll forget to check before sending some email back to a student, and before I know it all the mischievous kids are calling me 'Firstname,' which sounds like nothing but actually erodes respect and makes the job a lot harder.

[Orangeplastic]

I note some teachers do the Mrs Thing approach but the more senior the staff the more confident they are with using the First name Last name approach in communications, they don't feel the need for pseudo respect - in fact very similar to doctors - Consultants more often introduce themselves First Name Second Name.