Teachers referring to themselves as "Mrs" in emails to parents

[Mynameismummy]

Does anyone else think it's a bit weird that a teacher would sign an email to you (parent) as "Mrs X"? Obviously, all the teachers are called "Miss X" or "Mrs X" by both children and parents and will refer to each other that way. All the older teachers do what I do - ie write to someone as "Dear Mrs whoever", but sign off "Firstname Lastname"...but all the younger ones sign themselves "Mrs X". Obviously not an earth shattering issue, but I just find it a bit disconcerting, as though they are treating you like one of the children!

[tethersend]

At the DDs' primary school, all teachers are known by their first name by staff, children and parents. Much better way to go, IMO.

[Spidertracker]

tethersend
That wouldn't work at our school, we all have different surnames but the 27 strong staff only have 14 first names.

[tethersend]

Haha, great x-post

It has no discernible effect on pupil-teacher respect at all. I have taught in schools where students call teachers by their first name, and in others where I've been miss x.

No difference at all, IME.

[DickDewy]

The head at my dc's primary does this - any e-mail or newsletter is signed 'Mr xxxxxxx', it really irritated me.

Thankfully, they are now both at senior school where the head signs everything first name last name.

[tethersend]

If we're allowed to know the prime minister's first name, we should be allowed to know teachers'.

[bialystockandbloom]

I don't mind it generally. The only time it's annoyed me is with our ds's senco (also deputy head) - I've had dozens of face-to-face meetings with her, probably over 100 emails over the years wrt statements/IEPs etc, chat to her a lot in the playground etc, and she still addresses me in emails as Ms Bialy. I once emailed her using her first name, but got the "best wishes, Mrs Senco" sign off back. That showed me.

[Mehitabel6]

I can't get worked up about it- not bothered.

[Greengardenpixie]

I have never given it any thought. I am an older teacher and probably sign it Mrs Strawberry. Does it matter? Who cares? I am sure most teachers don't thing anything about it. You are reading WAY too much into this. We are addressed Mrs all the time. Teachers and teachers in the school and children also. Its a force of habit, nothing else.

[MsMermaid]

I'm happy for pupils to know my first name, I'd be happy for them to call me by my first name, its not a secret. But school policy in every school I've worked in has been to call teachers Mr/Ms/Mrs X, so that's how I refer to myself and how I expect pupils to refer to me.

[PrincessHairyMclary]

Personally I try and keep my first name private, and I think it stops them being able to track you down on social media as easily.

[LarrytheCucumber]

I like the formality of it. 30 years of being 'Mrs Cucumber' and I still find it weird when people call me Larry when they don't know me.
It is just one of those conventions that have existed for a very long time.
I always called my children's teachers Mr, Mrs, Miss etc.in school, even if I knew them outside school.
When I was a student our tutors called us Miss, Mr, Mrs Surname too.
I had the same experience as you with the SENCo bialy. Eventually she unbent enough to sign herself 'Kind regards, Firstname' Surname

[Greengardenpixie]

I agree with you mermaid. I say to the kids in my class that my first name isn't a secret and wouldnt have a problem if it were up to me but they have to call me Mrs as Mermaid has said, it's school policy up and down the country. That is the way it is. In the nursery, they call the adults by their first name. They used to say Mrs X but not anymore, which i find weird!

[Greengardenpixie]

Maybe the Mrs or Mr its a discipline issue or one that clearly defines a relationship iykwim.

[mamadoc]

majority opinion is very much against mine on this one.

DDs teachers are always Mr or Mrs x to me. I usually don't even know their first names and would not expect to. I would also expect them to call me Mrs surname. I just don't think that a 10 min chat at parents evening once a term and a wave at pick up means we are on 'first name terms'!

Perhaps it's because I am a Dr and I view their 'Mrs' as a professional title like Dr is for me.
I introduce myself to patients as Dr x and only my initial is on letters. I dislike patients knowing or using my first name as I feel it crosses a professional boundary. It is quid pro quo by the way and I refer to patients also as Mrs/mr unless asked to do otherwise. I just think that's respectful.

I also refer to all my colleagues junior and senior as Dr x in front of patients and when I was more junior I referred to my senior colleagues as Dr x at all times.

It would feel really wrong to me to call DDs teachers by first names as that is for friends or at least people you know well.

[BrendaandEddie]

Too many twats. God you lot

[HSMMaCM]

Doesn't bother me at all. DD's teachers sometimes sign their first names and sometimes not. I don't have a problem either way. I'm not sure the head teacher even has a first name .

[teacherwith2kids]

Those of you who object to teachers calling themselves Miss / Mrs / Mr X, do you expect your GP to call themselves by their first name too?

Like mamadoc, I regard 'Mrs Tw2k' as being my name in my professional capacity, 'Mum' or 'DC's mum' as my name in my parental capacity, 'Dr Tw2k' as my name for all institutions such as banks and utility companies, and 'Firstname' as my name for my friends and relations.

I don't think that makes me a twat. Especially given the fact that I live close to where i work, and meet several people in different capacities, I appreciate the signal that different forms of my name give about what capacity I am operating in at that moment. When I pick DC up from a friend's house, and that friend was one of my pupils, I appreciate that I am 'DC's mum' to that child at that point, and can be very different from when I see them in school and am 'Mrs Tw2k'. Equally I am 'Mrs Tw2k' to all parents art parents' evening, even those I also know as my doctor, a friend, or my DC's former teacher...

[spankhurst]

I'm a teacher and the parent-teacher relationship can be a little tricky to negotiate. I think the 'Mrs xxxxx' ones are 'staying in role' to keep things simple. I do think if you do this you should address people in the same way, though.

[SilverNightFairy]

It would never occur to me to refer to my child's teacher as anything but Mrs/Mr.Teacher. This is a professional relationship, not one of friendship. My child's school certainly does not encourage such familiarity nor would I want it to.

[teacherwith2kids]

I do think that there are rare cases in which the relationship between parent and school staff may move onto a level in which first names may be appropriate - for example, a member of staff who works with a child 1:1 for many years (e.g. a sign language interpreter) may become known on first name terms. Or, as someone upthread mentioned, if pastoral support for parents in times of distress make at least a temporary level of informality appropriate. However, for a general class teacher, in general a Mr / Mrs / Miss X is appropriate when the teacher is acting in a general professional capacity.

[Hesalovernotabiter]

In DD school, all the teachers sign letters etc as first name, last name.

They also refer to parents/adults as mum, dad, granny etc I think it's lovely

The school secretary hates being called Mrs And introduces herself to everyone bar the children as her first name!

[teacherwith2kids]

As a parent, I am happy to be 'DC's mum' to children who don't know me well enough yet to know, or be confident using, my first name. In any adult to adult capacity, I am either Mrs Tw2k - e.g. to my children's teachers - Dr Tw2k, or Firstname.

To be called 'Mum' by my DC's teachers would be....infantilising at worse, a little icky at best.

[PandasRock]

There is absolutely no reason why you cannot have a professional relationship on first name terms. Odd to think otherwise.

I am having my house rebuilt. I am on first name terms with the architect, the town planners, the builders, the surveyors etc. all professional relationships.

I don't object to teachers wishing to remain in Mrs/Miss/Mr terms as log as they give me the same courtesy. Them taking the initiative on using my first name, whilst staunchly staying on a formal level with their on name is plain weird. And smacks of them trying their best to project the same relationship they have with my dc - ie one where they are clearly superior.

I am on first name terms (and wouldn't know most surnames) with all staff at my dd1's school, from office staff to teachers and maintenance, and including several other professionals such as doctors and therapists. No question that the relationship is a professional one, but we all manage to use each other's first names quite easily. They are also amongst the few professionals who hav ever actually listened to what I may have to say, and treated me as reasonably knowledgable about my own child. I wonder if there is a link.

[claraschu]

I think it is always a bit rude and condescending to give yourself a title, whether that title is Ms Teacher, Lord Peter, or Her Majesty. I think you sign yourself off with a first and last name and trust your correspondent to give you the right title.

I actually find it annoying when doctors call patients by their first name and expect to be addressed by their title. A doctor is not some kind of social superior to all his patients, but a person with skills and knowledge who is employed to to a job, rather like a plumber.

It all reminds me a bit of ladies calling their servants by a first name and expecting to be called Mrs Snob (or Ma'am) in return.

[teacherwith2kids]

I should make it clear that I call parents by their title + surname too - I agree that any 'asymmetry' in this is very odd.