should more able kids get more praise?

[nicosmum]

My issue actually relates to swimming lessons but wanted to check whether I was being over sensitive or not.

My 4 yo ds recently went up to a new swimming stage. He tries hard but progress for him is slow as he is very skinny and isn't very good at kicking. There are 8 in the class and he is the weakest at swimming.

Every week I sit and lesson to the teacher loudly praising the better swimmers in the group "well done, brilliant" etc and giving them extra attention (they get taken into the deep water, allowed to go first each time etc).

My son has started to feel a bit dejected and saying swimming is too hard and he is the worse in the group etc. Also one of the better swimmers in the group has made some unkind comments about him not being so good but I have told him to ignore her. I just tell my son that people are good at different things and that he should persevere and he'll improve. But I feel sad for him as the teacher never says anything positive to him!

Am I being oversensitive or is it unfair for the teacher to focus praise on the more able kids??

A well known study has shown it counter-productive to praise for achievement rather than effort. Praising for achievement makes children less likely to take on new challenges, and more likely to give up easily.

A good summary here:
www.parentingscience.com/praise-and-intelligence.html

That is largely another educational fad akin to this year's miracle diet. No one will lose much weight and by-and-by they will find another fashionable one to cluck over.

No quick fix for pupils with a fixed mindset about their own intelligence
theconversation.com/no-quick-fix-for-pupils-with-a-fixed-mindset-about-their-own-intelligence-43152

For my DD it has always been the other way around and I include swimming, where the Lion's share of attention sentimentally went to weaker swimmers and she very rarely got any. It is specifically what made a very modest and relatively compliant (then Y5) child vehemently insist on stopping swimming when she got to stage 8 or whatever it was.

Even our most competitive parent called her a "beautiful swimmer" prior to asking for the "secret". I used to love taking her and watching that, so it was a bit of a blow.

It can clearly work both ways.

So she gave up because she didn't get enough praise?

Perhaps it would have been better to help her focus on whether she enjoyed swimming.

Do you think it harms our children to bring them up as praise junkies. Can children not derive pleasure from the activity itself.