Leave Dyslexic child to recieve no help or move a child who HATES change?

[iHAVEtogetoutofhere]

I have a ds who is in a system where there is no help for dyslexia.
He has dyslexia, dysgraphia, probable dyspraxia.
10 y/o, repeated Y1 (so sitting 1 year 'behind') and receives no learning support. Can't spell the word: 'does' correctly, hates writing, feels 'stupid' and a 'failure'.

I can move him, but he HATES change - he is probably asd, at least in terms of anxiety.

He gets bullied a lot.
Is being bullied at present, but likely to have issues after moving too as he seems to 'attract' them, iyswim.

I feel if I leave him where he is, it's like ripping off a Band-Aid slowly - constant low level pain. If we move him, it's like ripping it off quick - worse to start with, but then potentially much better?

mrsJay - our local High school is good - well regarded.

But... I know a local Gp who had a child there who had SEN and poss SN and they got very little help. Child was at public exams stage (around 15?) and still not able to take in required items or manage personal organisation and homework etc and I understand almost no support was given.

I know another family whose child struggled to transition from a diff feeder primary to this High school. 2 years later that child is only going in for 3 single hour sessions a week and no work is being set - the parents have just been left to muddle along.

But what CAN be done for a child who is has these issues?
The SEN are quantifiable and he has them - we now know at last.
The poss SN (asd traits) I suspect are not 'bad' enough to ever trigger help but are enough to make him struggle and family life difficult at times.

Am I being unrealistic expecting help?

You need a statement in England i think so you would need to go through it again dd had an NHS dx for 1 thing and a private for another she wears tinted glasses the school accepted the private Dx fine , god its hard to try and think what to do for the best I dont think I would move to somewhere that tests young children the thought of Sats fill me with dread

You are not beingu realistic every child deserves a good education with support if needed SEN budget is shocking imo schools have very little resources they are running on empty dd went to a rubbish school but thrived at H S her good primary was uselesx and wrote their sen kids off its shocking we have to fight schools

Surely you have to move to give him the best chance educationally. It may be a difficult transition , he should go with peer group, but you have almost done it before and the fact you waivered then may well have been as unsettling in itself. Does your h not believe his Ds deserves better than he had?

LIZS - I am doing my best in pretty straightened circumstances...

He was not aware that I 'almost did it before' so it didn't unsettle him.

yes, of course H wants better for ds but he struggles to believe it is reliably 'out there' too.

I spoke today to a parent who had had 2 kids at the school and village I am looking at going TO.

Under a previous HT. they had an appalling time of 'its all in your head, the kid is fine' type stuff. They ended up leaving the village and the school just as we feel we have no alternative to.

this was under a previous HT, but it shows that nowhere is 'certain' and that is what I am trying to weigh up - a 'slow death' educationally, versus a potential 'out of the frying pan into the fire' situation.

I have just realised it would have made more sense to have started this in education -

there are Qu's I want to ask about SATS for example (don't have in Scotland) and ages / bands etc . I know nothing of the system I want to move into.

thanks for all input. x.

Hi OP

We are just moving this to Education.

Thanks

Oh heck you've a lot to worry about.

However ultimately he cannot remain where he is. He gets no help and is being bullied.

Do you have any other options for schools?

Sorry can't help with SATs as Im not in England.

Well no other options in this county for schools (and it's a big county).

due to £ constraints, other option is a 3 school system in England.

DD2 has dysgraphia and is clumsy (but not dyspraxia). At the end of P3 her teacher said "I know she can't write legibly, but there is nothing the school can do about that.'. I moved her to a private primary, 3 sessions a week learning support and an extra session of balance exercises instead of gym. And no bullying.

I would move him as soon as I could.

I know you mentioned about the other school - I think that you shouldn't under estimate what a new HT can do to a school. Have you been in contact with the school re support?

There seems to be a massive lack of schools offering support around you for SN, that's terrible.

I'm in a similar, but less complicated, situation to you as my DS has just been diagnosed with dyslexia, and I am going to have too look as new schools. He won't like it either, but currently he's in a language school so I need to remove the added difficulty of learning through a second language.

Are there any other schools that offer the support he'll need.

Can you push for him to use a lap top. It really is pointless trying to get a dysgraphic to do extended writing by hand. I would be concerned about him going into year 6. It is utterly hellish with SATS. It's an exam factory and the teacher will be focussing on getting the majority through. He/ she is not really going to have time to find the gaps and trying to plug them is nigh on impossible.

Things you can do at home

Toe by Toe. Don't do all the endless repetitions but 10 mins a day will see results.

Hands On Teaching by Miranda Swift has on line fesources you can buy and down load for spelling. Very kinesthetic.

Dyscalculia - this is harder but there is the dyscalculia toolkit

Reading. - use TRUGS. These are games and very good

Chunks is a brilliant spelling game. Pop to the Shops for money

Look through Smart Kids website for ideas.

For learning spelling use magnetic letters or make the words out of playdoh.

Handwriting Rescue is good too.

I woul possibly keep him where he is rather than move him to a year 6 in a new system for him. However, do an hour at home with him a day and he will make progress. Paying for a tutor will be good and takes the onus off you.

"I didn't want to appear rude and argue" right you have to get over this. If your child needs more help and support you are the only one that is going to make it happen. Don't be English and polite. You are going to have to fight.

Do you have the means for private support? If not can you get a second job or evening job to pay for things.

Have you looked into getting an occupational therapist? They could help with dyspraxia.

Have you looked at retained reflex therapy? It really really helped my ds who hated change and had lots of dyspraxic traits.

Make every day count. Put everything on the table. Do a big brainstorm with your dh. Try everything.

Have you complained to the school about the bullying? The least they can do is sort that out. Honestly!

I am sorry for your poor ds x