Thread For Boarders

[morethanpotatoprints]

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason.

Depends on the school. Some will specific days for bedding/sportswear/whites/colours
Some just have 2 days/week per house
Some have an in house laundry where it is done the same day

Ahwoo

We were just told that they put their dirty clothes in a laundry basket on the landings and then its brought back.
I suppose schools will have their own system.
They also said they had specific days for bedding, but just told the dc when this was. I guess this is easy in a little school.

Thank you derek I will make sure I don't let her pick up on it. Atm we are still at the "Haven't you done well" stage and "we're so proud of you". It should get a bit normal now until September. No more visits and this week our local paper has done a spread on her, so that will be tomorrows chip paper
I think some calm days are whats required now.

morethan your weeks will swing from lows (which eventually get less acute) when your DC goes back to school to highs on Saturday. That will be interspersed by little highs when you speak to her or get some sort of message. Then quite quickly it will be the countdown to the first holiday and so on. It would be worth having a project those first few week days when the physical separation is at its most intense.

I remember with one DC comparing the days at home for a normal state school (including weekends but not evenings ) and at a full boarding school only counting exeats and holidays. The number of days at home were almost identical and that was n't counting each Sunday.

I'm feeling a bit sad. Had already identified the super-lush bed linen I was planning to bankrupt myself to buy for the child for September. (I know it would be mashed in the laundry but it was calling to me ...) Have just found out that all bedding is now being supplied in-house, to comply with fire regulations.

(Had been focussing on bedding because the uniform list gives me palpitations. Ho hum.)

Gives you free rein to splash out on something else for his room Zero.
I am a bit surprised by the bed linen though, all boarding schools I know allow home duvet covers etc.

summerends

Thank you very much for your words of wisdom, what would we do without Mnet.

Zero

Would it not be the same splashing out on it for when your dc is at home?
I'm surprised too, from my admittedly little knowledge presumed that all schools would allow the child's own duvet cover.

We are lucky with uniform, no palpitations apart from making sure we have the items with compulsory school logo. The rest we are able to buy from anywhere, and it is all quite cheap too.
In our case they have to keep with the ethos of access for all, so they can hardly have an expensive uniform.

I have heard how usually it is quite expensive and a second mortgage is required

I'm surprised about the duvets as well I've never known a school not allow children to use their own. Actually that's not true I know one that doesn't I strongly suspect that's where your DS is going zero.

morethan you can always count on somebody like me on Mnet to repeat what you have already worked out for yourself . Actually to continue in that vein, the 'highs' of being reunited or phoning when they are so pleased and spilling over with their experiences really do more than compensate the lows.

We have found that WhatsApp with a nice cheap 3G card (3 £12 per mth). Is really a good investment. Getting selfies of her and her friends is always nice. When they are out and about at weekends. Just don't expect to much conversation. The replies I get are "K" and the occasional "nay". Facetime if she is free at weekend is also better. Although you do spend a lot of time talking with her fellow boarders too.
So buy a phone...buy a lap top (we bought a MacBook pro for the FaceTime). I think it is what they use at the school too.

kenlee

If I got a penny for every "K" I get from my kids on Whatsapp, I'd probably have enough to pay for the phone, the laptop and the monthly charges.

Oh no, the reality is here in the form of a large pack of questions for the music and dance aided pupil scheme.
I am now getting everything together including details of the pence earned as interest in our current accounts.
We will have several calls to our accountant as I don't understand and dh is worse than me.
So far I have managed our names and address, and dds personal details.
She is taking her singing exam as I write so at least I'm keeping occupied as I still get nervous for her.
At least when she starts school I won't be there to be anxious.

Will you be having a home visit to calculate the value of your priceless collection of historic instruments check the veracity of your written information?

My DD is about to start boarding school at age 13. I have to admit that part of me is looking forward to it because she is starting to become a bit teenagery, plus I won't have to do as much driving around (she does a lot of activities). And it's a chance to focus on her younger sibling, who's tended to spend a lot of time being dragged around after big sister.
I like the idea of her becoming more independent, and I certainly won't be phoning her every day. She will have loads of opportunities at the school that I can't provide for her at home, and is looking forward to it enormously. I wish that we were a bit closer though, as there are lots of things I'd like to go to (concerts etc), but I will have to exercise a degree of self restraint.

one hint. If you have to fill in the form every year, photocopy it once it's complete. It makes next years one much easier to fill in.

Zero

I feel very ashamed of complaining now tbh, because I know its the tax payer who funds this through the government scheme.
No, we don't have home visits and it doesn't work the same as a bursary. They do make allowances for other dependant children in the family, but this doesn't apply to us as dd is our last dependant.
I'm dyslexic and forms are quite difficult, but I really can't complain was just over awed by it all.
They just assess by means testing and fees are dependant on your income.
No allowances are made for your outgoings. It's difficult to explain really.
The scheme is very generous and iirc you can have a family income of 190k before you have to pay the full fees.
Families earning less than 16.399 k can apply for full fees, uniform and travel expenses which really does make it accessible to all.
Although we will have to pay, not sure how much yet I am grateful for dd to have the opportunity.

This can explain it better than me and handy for any of you who have or know talented musicians it's available to all on their website, so not confidential.

www.chethams.com/study/fees

You have no reason to feel ashamed morethan! Form filling is invariably stressful. Yours sound very similar to bursary forms except for the lack of consideration of outgoings.

And you certainly shouldn't feel humble (if that's what you meant) about your DD's place. Where would this country be if extremely talented people were not enabled to fulfill their potential?

3legs what was the starting point of your decision? Was your DD clamouring for adventure or did you feel she needed more scope - or is boarding something you've always done?

I know zero, but you know what it's like on here for people to get the wrong end of the stick when it comes down to tax payers .
Also, I am a bit humble as obviously I know that many on this thread are helping to fund it whilst also paying huge fees themselves.

3legs

Our school does concerts on a daily basis due to the type of school, but the main school ones such as xmas, Easter etc are all done at the end of term or before exeat so that parents collecting children can watch them.
I suppose this is of no use if your dd is travelling home herself or has a guardian during these times, just thought it may be similar.

DD's becoming a cathedral chorister, so there will be masses of services and concerts that I in an ideal world would like to go to. I've already identified a good few just in the first term. And I shouldn't think that even the school things she's in will be right at the end of term, as the majority of the school are day pupils. I'm thrilled for her, but a bit sad that I will simply have to miss a lot. I foresee a lot of travelling to and fro and staying in cheap hotels!

3 legs

Congratulations to your dd, I'm sorry you will miss so many concerts.
Is your dd attached to a music school, I thought most choristers were.
There are some at dd school but they obviously operate in a different way and spend a lot of time at the Cathedral.
If they continue an instrument when they have finished as a chorister they are able to join the school as an instrumental student and when 6th form have voice as first study.

No, it's not one of those.
I'll be interested to hear how your DD gets on (I know which school you're referring to). The specialist music schools are very enticing, but as you know you have to have a child who is totally dedicated to individual practice, as they do literally hours of it every day. My DD's passion is singing / playing with others. So doing daily choral practice and performance will suit her down to the ground. I hope that she'll join lots of the school instrumental ensembles as well, as they have a good music department. There is such a big gap between music provision at state and in the independent sector (no doubt with some exceptions on both sides). We've been round comprehensives which have almost no music provision at all.

What do boys keep in their tuck boxes???

I'm sure there was a lively thread about trunks and tuck boxes a while ago that I could take no part in - because over nearly half a century's acquaintance with places where they might exist I have actually never come across a school where tuck boxes were a thing.

I was never a boy, but the question simply never arose at my own school. They are strictly forbidden at the prep I know best currently - and strongly discouraged at the relevant senior school ...

I've only ever known them in stories.

1805 my DS has n't got one but they need something they can lock precious belongings away in. If a lockable cupboard is available that's fine.
They will buy or be given extra food goodies so that may or may not be regarded as valuable enough to be kept locked up.

Hello all, I have been reading this thread on and off all day. My DS is about to start Year 7 so suddenly the discussion about the next school seems rather close!! He could stay at his excellent independent school or move to a more 'prestigious' school fifteen miles away with the option of boarding or not. Obviously I have over a year to make the decision but I already know he will want to stay (unless anything major changes) - do I push him to go??? The school he is at gets fantastic results but is in a not very nice area with no history… Do I push him to go for the ancient cloisters? Is 'prestige' really a thing any more???? Arrrghh!! Sorry, I am waffling but wish I could sit down with a group of parents like you all to chat over coffee…..

potatoprints - I have no idea how you have managed to start this thread and not have any 'i could never send my child to board' type comments!!! It's so nice to just be able to talk about it without that type of judgement. Do any of you in RL find yourself justifying your choice? DH hated his very prestigious boarding school but things have changed somewhat since then and I think that DS could benefit hugely - not least to stop his default of wanting to watch telly or iPad when he gets home!! I would've perhaps judged years ago when he was little (I certainly stated that he would never board) but now I can see that he would benefit so much, it's me that is reluctant… What do you say if people are negative or don't you mind what other people think?