Thread For Boarders

[morethanpotatoprints]

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason.

I have no idea how CE works. Dds process was very much like yours except that roughly half the places are funded through the Music & Dance Scheme & appraisals are once a year not twice.

Year 9 appraisal is the biggie, once you pass that they can't assess you out until the end of your GCSEs.

ballet

Hello, that's quite interesting about your appraisals.
I don't think ours are so strict but they do say that they have to make progress, which is fair enough. Obviously if they don't progress they are in the wrong school.
I don't suppose you'd know how many are assessed out? That would be interesting to know.
If I'm correct I think your dd school share a concert or two with the orchestra at my dd school. If you are who I think you are .

I recognise the CE exam prep now. A couple of years ago I downloaded the syllabus for dd for History, obviously not knowing what it was for.
I read one of the questions to her and she looked at me like It was more like GCSE standard than 13.
It was something like "If Alexander The Great and were so great, why did they kill so many people"? She passed on that one, and all the others
Your dc are so clever if they can answer these type of questions.

stumbled across this conversation and relieved to read that others feel the same way we do. Phew we are not alone!! entering year 9 and boarding for the first time. I keep telling myself that boarding is the only true school experience and its a very good thing. my 13yr old needs to be able to do it for himself now. When we first agreed to board it seemed so far away and such a good idea, not its getting closer and the end of term in his current school is nigh we are starting to feel a bit nervy :( and we have so many many questions. Nice to read the reassuring advice though

confused I think all parents embark on boarding with a degree of trepidation. DS2 started boarding when he was 7yrs old, 10 years ago and I still feel sad when he returns to school after holidays/exeats especially after the lovely long summer break. I was talking to another mum the other day whose in the same boat and she feels the same. I think about him most days and get really excited when "..... is coming home" as say to the dogs, who then run round the kitchen wagging their tails the older dog then keeps looking at the front door.
You'd have to be a pretty callous individual not to feel like this.

I also thought fairy lights etc aren't a problem not that it effects me but friends with DD's have them in their boarding schools. Surely they're no more dangerous than any other lights? I think most schools do safety tests on electrical equipment.
Having said this I agree with "don't take to much stuff" DS2 seems to have so much stuff I'm thinking of hiring a small van to bring it home! Its particularly tedious when you change dorm/room every term and you have to cart a couple of tonnes of stuff up and down four flights of stairs.

I presumed the no hanging things up had included fairy lights but haven't had it verified.

Here's a question - Are your dc allowed internet access at night in their dorms?
on our list it says laptops, phones, but any tv card? needs to have permission.
I'm not so sure I like the sound of unrestricted internet access.
My dd said on her trial they waited until lights out had been checked and then used their phones, listened to music long after they should
I've had a serious talk to dd about pacing herself and she doesn't know yet if she's the type to be caught.
Why is it like this for some dc, our ds2 was like this. If there were a few of them doing something he'd be the one still doing it when the teacher arrived

Good points there as usual hg hadn't considered all the stairs and there are hundreds at dd school.

At prep level no personal phones, iPads, laptops are normally allowed so the issue doesn't arise.

AFAIK at senior school the Internet will be switched off at a certain point in the evening. I know da yoof can find ways around any grey-haired restriction - but quite honestly boarding school life is so full on; Houseparents will soon notice if someone is regularly exhausted at breakfast. We've been assured that steps would be taken - will wait to see how it works in practice.

There is no wifi at the boarding house at dds school do must children have a phone or tablet with 3G.

Devices are supposed to be handed in at bedtime.

morethan how many would your DD be sharing with? I do get the impression that particularly the younger boarders are likely to be excited about staying awake after lights out in dorms which includes talking and listening to music. It is a downside that depending on your DD's room-mates she may come home completely exhausted, not only from busy days but possibly shorter nights than are advisable. It does all create memories and friendships though. I would check with the houseparents about their rules for internet, certainly a lot of prep schools (up to year 8) don't allow smart devices after a certain time in the dormitories which seems sensible.

I know that phones need to be handed in after lights out. Although I know they watch Korean drama upto the wee hours. Fairy lights are a bIG No. In fact the school policy on phones is that you can use it just be sensible. Which I prefer. The school has full WiFi access.

Hello just popping my head in as all my children (those over 13..I have 10 kids!) board. So happy to answer any questions. Specifically have knowledge of Eton and Marlborough [:)].

Question of the day is about mobile phones. DS hasn't needed a phone so far but we'll get one for September. I was going for a cheap HTC on pay as you go with the promise that if it is well looked after fir the first year that we would then invest in an iPhone. To say this suggestion went down badly is an understatement. Apparently everyone has an iPhone 5 or 6 and to but anything else would be social suicide. I think I will stick to my guns but looking for others thoughts.

Hmmm to be honest I haven't seen anyone without an iPhone at my kids' schools. I suppose because they can play games on them and use instagram/snapchat and all that. You can get an iphone for a £30 a month contract, could ask if he wants that to be taken off your monthly allowance to him, or half of it?

My daughter had a Galaxy y for year 7 but she wasn't happy with it so we gave her the choice between my old reconditioned iPhone 4s or a new HTC Desire.

She chose the Desire.

Lots do have iPhones, but they are mostly their parents old ones.

summerends

DD said there were 2 other girls i her dorm but 4 is the maximum.

abear

At dd school the dc have been told they really need a contract, because they need to contact each other regularly, but I know this isn't the same for everyone.
However, I do think a contract can be much cheaper than payg.
We are giving dd an old iphone as we have apple products that we can link to her phone, to keep an eye on her.
You can also get some great deals if you have an old iphone.
I think ds1 who is paying for dd contract can get it from 10 a month on his account iyswim.
I think he said Talk Talk was the provider.

abear my DS had a non smart pay as you go phone for some years. It actually was n't a problem missing out on social networking because he is so busy in term time.
I agree though that a compromise with your DS may be an old iPhone 4 with a cheap contract perhaps leaving it for a term or so. We've got one recently at nearer £20 contract.
You do need rather early on to establish your family limit on comparative consumerism in such schools.

Lookout 10 DCs is a fair number and must cost a bomb if all at private school

Summerends... Yes indeed! I married a toff!

'Toffs' don't normally have heaps of money if they are pouring it into maintaining family estates. You must be married to a rarer breed of 'toff' with family bank .

Haha, I suppose you're right. Very old, very successful family business on his side yes :)

Lookoutapiano

At the risk of sounding very vulgar, you and your dh must be absolutely rolling in it 10 kids
Eton and Harrow are a different world, so I'm told.

I understand if you don't want to answer this, but have often wondered whether children who attend the elite schools realise how fortunate they are.
Or if because it is expected from family they just see it as the norm.

We are trying to instil in dd the wonderful opportunity she has been given but of course much different in our case. It's difficult as she has obviously worked hard and is talented so don't want to take this away from her, but on the other hand we wouldn't want her to take it for granted and become complacent.

Hi Potato,

That's no problem, I grew up in poverty myself so I am aware how different my children's lives are. I'm lucky that my wonderful husband is so down to earth. Despite growing up very rich, he had neglectful parents who were very eccentric and unloving. He went to the best prep (boarded from aged 6), then to Eton, and spent holidays being looked after by servants, including Christmas days as his parents didn't bother to come home and see him or fly him out to wherever they were that week :( So, to him, having money wasn't that brilliant - he just wanted love and a family.

So luckily that attitude and my constant irritating reminder of how lucky they are to be born into privilege has kept my kids grounded I hope.

They find they have an easier time of it at school where they have maids to change the beds and nonsense like that, something which I dislike, and when they come home they have to do all the usual chores and whinge that it's easier at school I do find some of their classmates vulgar in the way they splash money around, but they seem to be few and far between. You also get the kids who really have been totally locked away from the real world and have no concept of a less rich lifestyle but aren't rude with it, just genuinely naive. I got gawped at once by a couple of boys at prep for commenting that I was helping at the food bank that day... They said surely that didn't go on in this country? I then gave them a very enlightening description of the block of flats in Manchester where I grew up and they learnt a lot! I admit I judged the parents that day!!

They have all worked hard at schools from very young and I'm proud of them to be holding their own at the schools they are at, it was so over my head when my first child started prep and sometimes I still roll my eyes at things that go on at Eton which annoys my husband and boys no end as they are loyal to the death over that school! All the teachers and staff there have always been so polite and friendly to me and I truly love Eton and I'm glad my husband persuaded me to let the boys go there

I ... have often wondered whether children who attend the elite schools realise how fortunate they are.

Nope. Wasn't addressed to me but no, I don't think they do. Not the full extent of their good fortune. Not at 13 anyway. They know they're having a fabulous time, they think their school is "the best" and they're very relieved to have achieved what everyone wanted them to achieve - but that's about it (IME so far).

Or if because it is expected from family they just see it as the norm.

It's just not working like that any more. We've been in the thick of it, so to speak, lately and nobody has been able to take their family expectations for granted. It's true that not every British family would want this for their child - but there really is global competition for "elite" school places.

Oh and I forgot to mention - I adopted several of my kids so they are perhaps more aware than those officially 'born into it'.

Lookout

So sorry for your dh, it must have been so awful for him and I am so glad he found you and has a lovely family.
I admit to laughing at the maids at school and having to do it for themselves at home.
These comments have helped me get a grasp at the type of children dd will come across, as some are full fee payers, some from overseas.
It's nice to hear about them being grounded and not taking too much for granted.
I worry about dd atm, I'm sure she will calm down once she starts but she is such a madam at the moment and it's hard to tell if it is just her age, or gaining a place at the school. Her auntie visited today and told me she wants knocking down a peg or two and I had to agree.
She is getting above her station and really not very nice. Whether this is a way of keeping her confidence up I'm not sure. Music is the only thing she has or gets confidence and self esteem from.
We tell her she's pretty a nice girl etc, but she says we only say it because we're her parents.
Maybe when she gets with her own sort she will settle.