Thread For Boarders

[morethanpotatoprints]

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason.

I think initially the house staff/ whoever responsible are noting the appetite of the children so they can note any changes.
My dd house master commented that she didn't eat much because she had a jacket potato and beans for her lunch.
She has an enormous appetite, in fact I'm afraid to admit but the lack of PE over the past few years has seen her gain lots of weight.

Anyway, the day in concern she had had a huge breakfast and seconds at tea time.
I was glad he was keeping an eye out though.
I'm sure others will be noting if she doesn't eat much, do you know if they have any talks lined up for healthy eating? My dd said she seems to be having quite a few atm, from staying safe, H&S, security, personal (PHSE) type talks.

Oh, I'm so glad the hm apologised.
Was she aware that your dd was a fussy eater but this was known and she is fit and healthy?
Maybe if she isn't aware it might be good for it to go on record and then others adults might not join in.

School food is not universally liked, My ds loves it, but a lot of the food is in a 'sauce' which plain eaters don't like. So it's good that she is finding something to eat, I always worry that they are going hungry - no idea why when they all go to the co-op after school! I'm glad the HM apologised, wasn't the most tactful thing to say!
Definitely get it put on record so she doesn't have to explain it all again.

Ah, poor love she does sound stressed.
I wish mine would stress a bit, I'm sure she'll be in trouble soon for missing things.
There seems to be so many clashes though, she doesn't know if she's coming or going.
The candles sound like a lovely idea, and how fab sharing a birthday.
I think GCSE's are stressful for any child and it all seems to take so long as well. Add this to being very bright like your dd and she must really feel the pressure.
Our older dc tried at school, well the eldest did. He wasn't very bright though and never felt pressurised.
It seems wrong that the brightest are the ones to really feel the strain.

dream I hope your DD feels less stressed soon. You mention buying candles for when she is at school, I doubt they will be allowed candles. They certainly weren't allowed them at my DC's schools due to the fire regulations.

Teenagers have the highest requirement of calcium of any age group 1300mg a day (I know this I've been researching into it because I'm don't eat any dairy products and Im paranoid concerned about osteoporosis) if she's only eating dairy products at the weekend she's probably not getting enough. You have to eat 4 portions of high calcium drinks/food a day.

Dream

I hope your dd is ok and managed to enjoy some of her birthday.
mine is the opposite and upset she can't spend hers at school, as during Christmas holiday.
you can't win sometimes
I think these first few weeks back can be exhausting and as they board too, are often working until late.

I looked at the stream for dd timetable yesterday and several times it looks like no lunch or tea, depending on the day. She likes her food though and hasn't complained so must be fitting it in somewhere.

During the day she does school work, missed with music lessons, concerts, ensemble. Then after tea is prep and another ensemble, which last night took her to within 15 mins of lights out.
She text but didn't Skype, just said she was busy and exhausted.

Ho hum. There's a thread atm

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/2473601-Why-would-anyone-consider-going-to-Rugby-school-better-than-the-mixed-local-comp?msgid=56731891

about a sixth former who's won a scholarship to Rugby. Lots of fulminating going on. I'm hoping the HM's words were misquoted or taken out of context - scholars aren't ambassadors for their "community" and the article suggests this particular boy comes from an "educated" household.

But so much misunderstanding on every level.

The OP on that thread just sounds bonkers and might cause herself to self combust with indignation if she isn't careful. I really cannot be bothered to engage.

I suppose people's opinions as to whether or not this is a good news story depends on what you think of schools like Rugby. I gather that the boy in question was mentored and encouraged by an organisation that was set up to encourage young black males to raise their aspirations in life. Some of them will go back to work actively in their communities, like Tony Sewell and Ray Lewis, and some of them will just pursue a career that interests them but in any case they will become positive role models for the next generation in a wide range of professions and careers, which seems like a good thing to me.

How is it going Gruach ? F block outing this weekend I think.

Last week! (Have not heard one single word about it yet.)

From what I do hear there'll be a lot of shoe leather being replaced come half term. Endless walking, endless work.

Though more jollification this weekend ...

All I can say is to be prepared for longer and longer silences from your DC as the weeks and months roll on. That’s not a bad thing, I might add. It’s just that the boys are getting on with what they are supposed to do in this great school that has so much to offer the boys. You should be worried if your DC keeps getting in touch with you.

Yes, I remember buying DS the most expensive pair of a well known branded leather shoes when he first started ‘F’ block thinking it would last a while for the money I paid for it. Sadly, it didn’t last two halves.

peteneras

Sorry to but in but you have just answered one of my questions

The next one As they contact you less because they are busier, how do you know if they are overdoing things? Would the school contact you or would you be expected to pick it up from your dc?

I have this fear with dd atm and she just tends to get on with things without complaining. I'm worried I wouldn't find out.

peteneras
I would just like to say a big thank you to you for your posts on other threads over the years - I know they were very helpful to me while researching the school. So thank you.

Update after the first couple of weeks.

We've had a few quick Skype calls (naughty I know when we were advised not to be in contact until first short leave) - however all the other boys saw their parents on Saturday but being so far away means we can't just pop down for an afternoon like that.

The Skype calls have made such a difference as I can actually see the happiness in his eyes and know he is not just putting a brave face on things. Although he will happy to see us next weekend he said it makes him sad to think of being away from school - so I think we can take it that he loves it.
He is getting involved in some great societies (although he is completely unsporty - he has still managed to find some things that he is enjoying greatly)

It was the outing last weekend - my DS decided he was going to go on a separate trip to the rest of his house - but luckily found some friends to walk around with (I was worried he was going to be alone) - kind of defeats the point of the outing as a bonding exercise for the boys of the same house - but he is that kind of boy that will not do something he has set his mind against (and he hates paint-balling with a passion)

This week has been really quiet in the house as my older DS has been taken (along with half of IKEA) to his uni halls of residence. So it is just DH and I - all alone!!

I am looking forward to short leave and getting a little excited and I hope it will be easier leaving him at the end again now we know he is happy and settling nicely.

Ooooh Adventurers no one said anything to us about not contacting till Short Leave! Just to exercise restraint as regards time of day.

It's true 21st century devices are a wonder. Lovely to see a grinning face.

So what's the cool thing amongst Empty Nesters these days? Will you and your DH be taking up ballroom dancing or wine tasting or simply booking an Arctic cruise?

It's nice to know all my postings have not gone to deaf ears and some people are finding them helpful. Thank you very much Adventurers71 for your kind words. Hope your DC settles down well.

NewLife4Me, I didn’t read most of the postings on this thread and therefore, I don’t know whether your DD went to a senior boarding school or a junior one or prep school. My DS spent 3 years at a boarding prep school and 5 years at a senior one.

At prep school there were quite regular communication in the beginning (first 6 months) but then it became fewer and fewer. DS put it down to too much work and “not convenient to phone”. I discovered the matron was the best person to ask of anything I wanted to know about DS.

At senior school, communication with home was almost non existent. For sure, the school which he attended would never contact us about anything unless it was a real emergency. Not even when DS was in quite serious trouble when he and another boy were caught playing a very serious prank on his former prep school French teacher that almost got both of them suspended. The school took the view that the boys must bear their own responsibilities and resolve their own problems which they created themselves in the first place. I didn’t know about this until DS owned up to me himself when it was all over. Needless to say, both boys were ‘gated’ by the school for a few weeks.

But generally speaking, there would be plenty at boarding school to get the kids well occupied. Besides the normal school timetable for lessons, other programmes, e.g. sports fixtures, society meetings and schedules etc. are normally prepared well in advance (a whole term ahead) for each and every day including weekends. Parents are normally given a copy of the Fixtures (diary) each term so that they would have an idea what their DC are doing each day. As can be seen, activities go on till very late at night.

Given time, your DD would soon find herself a niche where she feels comfortable and so would not be overdoing things. In most good boarding schools, it is impossible to get involved in everything because there are just too many.

peteneras et al

Oh dear, I must get a grip and the last few posts have made me realise this.
I am disappointed if I don't hear from her every day, I must stop it now and get on. It's not even that I don't see her, she's here every sat afternoon and sunday atm.
In fairness though, it's a rather extreme move for us, not so much the apron strings but taking a step back from her music too, although I trust her teachers implicitly and know most of them in a different professional capacity.
Sometimes I'm just so lost and unable to get on with things, not too often to be worrying though.
I am beginning to like music again and have to get dh and dd into a soundproof room which means moving. Then I can listen and play my saxophone to my hearts content. I may play trumpet instead.

Oh and I just got told off for calling her too much

Ahhhh NewLife, it's so tough sometimes but it really is better if they are not calling home every day. You can imagine what it's like in a new and exciting world - time passes way quicker for them than for us.

I did speak with DS on the phone today, first time for ages and it was lovely, he is fine. Mind you it was only because he had had a problem with his phone, and asked if I could text or phone him to check it was still working. Naturally I chose to call ...

Yes Indrid, all that sounds too familiar. Kids at this age have their own priorities and generally speaking, chatting with mum and dad over the phone or e-mailing them, sadly, is not at the top of their priority list. Unless, of course, their phone battery has gone dead and they need a new replacement urgently or something similar. Remember, we are their guarantors in life’s ups and downs - their private Bank of Mum & Dad, a permanent fixture there at their disposal but only on their terms.

I also made the mistake of believing what I read on her timetable and online stream, which of course can be wrong.
I did promise not to do it again as I seemed to frustrate her so much.
Well off to collect her in an hour and for once I'm not expecting her to tell me much more than her social life .
She did make me laugh when she told me they had done a test and she didn't understand why there were no questions, just puzzles.
They sat MidYIS yesterday .

New life - I really would seriously consider allowing her to stay at weekends. My dd is so disadvantaged socially by not being able to as we can't afford it.

She may feel she misses out on all the fun stuff.