Thread For Boarders

[morethanpotatoprints]

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason.

Done!

Such a long day - with everyone tired and anxious and a teeny bit snipey. But we've upacked and admired the room and lunched in the boarding house (older boys a total credit to their school and families) and quarrelled over things forgotten and hugged goodbye and listened to the HM's address in Chapel and returned and toasted ourselves.

(Home yet Adventurers?)

Gruach

We were going to toast ourselves, but didn't.
I think we'll wait until the first week is over.
I am finally chilling a little bit and have stopped walking round with every device I have, in case she wants to call us.
I know it's and have finally got a grip.

She only contacted us at 7.30 to ask if we could call her hm and tell him she had really bad cramps. Poor love managed P.E.
I didn't call of course, giving her the instructions I told her several times before.
"Go to the nurse".
She has dysmenorrhea though and gets quite bad, so I did sympathise.

Gruach, how was the headmaster? He looks so young.

Dream

Has she seen the doctor, it sounds like dysmenorrhea. I am only so clued up and keeping an eye on dd as I had it terribly, from being about 14.
The hospital consultant even asked mum if I could have been pg and miscarrying. Poor mum was mortified, and it shook her up a bit.

They gave me some tablets called Ponstan Forte, which when I read about now aren't really good drugs to give to a child.
There is probably something much better now though.

it's awful seeing them in so much pain, dd says all her legs throb and she finds it hard to move. Poor kids.

Poor darling, sorry I missed the end of your post and saw it after I'd pressed send
It is so awful at such a young age and i bet it stops her doing so much.
Does she enjoy swimming? My doctor recommended this, but as I say many years ago so could be wrong info now.
Hope all the homework is going well, will it be more spaced out when she has a timetable?

Wow, she sounds very clever. What is CA? Is it controlled assessment?
I love History too, although only had the opportunity to do the basics.

My dd seems to have spent the week distinguishing her ass from her elbow but I'm sure she'll get there.
I have sent her a couple of pointers just because it's her first week, but in fairness don't know if she needed the reminders.
I can't wait to see her tomorrow, just to hear how things have gone on this week. We have spoken but it's been her telling me what she has got wrong and messing about with her friends. Them all shouting and getting on screen etc. It sounds great fun atm, but I'm sure it will get tougher.
At least she doesn't appear to be homesick and not too happy to come home tomorrow after school and not saturday lunch time.
I know they'll be times she won't be able or want to come home at the weekend so for now, I said she has to.

Hope everybody else is settling down well now, and not walking around attached to devices like I have been until today. I even missed a call today, dh got one and I carried on with stuff until she text me. I'm very proud of myself

I am back and recovered at last.

Unfortunately the tears started (for me not DS) about 2 days before the drop off day. We left a day early and stopped half way down the country to break the journey.

Thinking about all of the "last" things drove me around the bend and made my eyes very soggy. Eventually I got control of myself and miraculously I managed the drop off day at school without making a complete show of myself - in fact I managed to keep it together the whole time I was there.

My DS already knows I am a wuss and said he expected no less than me to be a soggy mess and it didn't bother him and he wouldn't be embarassed at all.

We stayed over about an hour away on the night of the drop off and the hotel had made up 2 spare beds as we had our older DS with us instead of just 1 additional bed - so that started the tears for a little while once again.

The hardest part of the process for me was the journey home as I realized just how far away it really was for me to leave him. Getting home was a little tough too.

However - he did send a message and we had a quick chat on FB about his first day and how much he was enjoying it. "Awesome" was the word used and he has already made good friends with a couple of the boys which is great (when we left he was really worried that he wouldn't get on with the boys as he thought they were laughing at him which really made me fret - but luckily that passed and he says he is getting on great now)

So now I am settling into the new normal (whatever that may be) and concentrating on getting older DS ready for Uni next weekend and I will be doing it all over again.

I write this post not to worry mums in the future but to show how quick the teary part is over. It is really transient even for a wuss like me.

Now I am looking forward to seeing how he thrives at school and the opportunities he will have over the next few years plus how he will face and overcome challenges too.

The headmaster's address was interesting (although I had my back to him while he was giving it)

Adventurers

you big wuss [grin, just joking.
I'm so glad your ds sounds happy, our head said that the they often form firm, long friendships with the children they meet on their first day/ share dorm with.
My dd is having a huge learning curve atm. I was about to set out for the train today, had told her what time I'd be there etc and she called with minutes to spare to tell me she couldn't come home until tomorrow lunch as she has an ensemble tomorrow and nobody had told her.
I said she will have to get used to asking. I do hope she shapes up soon
Apart from this and other mishaps of timing she seems to be fine.

It must be hard when it is a long distance for you, but in perspective those who can home at weekend have very little time and I can see in a few weeks that dd will want to stay and only come home when necessary.
I think they make the weekends so fun for them and of course they are building friendship groups.

I wish your ds well and hope he enjoys settling in next week.

Gruach and Adventurers glad to hear you got through it OK! Even after 4 years I still find myself wanting to howl on the last morning, but once they are safely delivered all is well.

We arrived at about 6, and the new F blockers in DSs house were trotting around in a little gaggle, exploring everything, and deciding whether or not they wanted to go to the choir auditions. All seemed to be very excited and enjoying it all. There are also two new boys at 6th form, so they were quite pleased to see someone their own age, having spent the day surrounded by 13 year olds. All in all there was a real buzz.

Good luck for the next three weeks. It will be over before you know it!

Ah, poor love. Tell her to think of the fantastic education she is getting.
Do you think this would console her.
Our 2 older ones had the most awful education, they never or rarely got homework.
Maybe she'll understand.
She sounds like such a clever girl though and what huge opportunities our children have.

Joyful grovel! There was a palpable air of excitement in Chapel. (Though tbf I've only seen it empty before.) Must be an amazing job to have; the peak of a career.

Indrid all the older boys we met said the years go by in a flash. Does your DS feel the same?

Chin up Adventurers

Thank you to everyone on this thread for building a picture of what to expect in the run up to senior boarding. It has been incredibly helpful, as have many other threads over the past few years, whilst deciding on schools, worrying about entrance exams and packing for the start of term.
Huge thanks especially to happygardening for her wise posts about our chosen school - you have made it a little less mysterious for me!!

Oh OnaHill I don't think I want too see or think of the words worrying about entrance exams again for at least a thousand years ...

(But congratulations to your DS!)

Thank you Gruach, and congratulations to you and your son too. I would agree, but alas, I have to go through it all again with DS2!! Not sure where to yet, but I am sure the wise counsel from this forum will help once again.

I am loving the little messages from DS1 as he experiences all that is on offer.

Gruach oh yes, the time whizzes by faster than you could ever imagine, for all of us!

Dream

Fantastic for your dd, just after I said she'd have great opportunities

Mine forced herself to watch the proms but fell asleep towards the end.
The first week seems to have gone ok though.
I suppose we just have to let them get on with it now, is that right?
This has to be the first time since she was born that I don't have anything of hers to wash

Right, here is my up date after 1 and a half weeks.

First week of very tearful phone calls in the evening. Wasn't enjoying it, not anything like the open days(!), wanted to come home/go to one of the day schools we turned down/go back to her prep school for 7 and 8.

We were brisk and positive on the phone - asked what was going well. Last weekend she was very silent, but seemed happy when she got back to school on Sunday night and her friends were pleased to see her.

This week has been a bit of a nightmare. She missed a hockey trial because a member of staff told her that her ballet class took precedent, so she wasn't picked for the first hockey match. This 'disaster' became overwhelming (she is a very good club player) and we had a series of distressed phone calls. At this point we called the house mistress, who said she would check up on DD. This was clearly an error, as our next phone call is full of agonised complaints that the house staff keep saying "Is everything all right, DD?" in embarrassing voices and asking her to come and have a nice cosy chat (DD's idea of hell!).

So, this weekend, we have had more tears late on Friday - doesn't want to go back, hates it, work is too easy, House staff are stalking her etc.

Yesterday, I had a quick ring round and we met up with 2 old friends who have gone on to day schools and - guess what? They are also finding things hard, the work is simple, the staff are odd. Happier yesterday evening, though still quiet.

So, she's gone off to a club hockey tournament today, going straight back to school afterwards as it's on the way.

Everyone says it takes 2 terms for them to settle in, so I guess even tiny steps are good. Hard work, though - for her and us!

As parents we feel so helpless and also so guilty when are children are unhappy when they're at boarding school.
It is very early days and as you correctly said many day children don't find the move to senior school a walk in the park, the work might be easier but most schools want to break children in gently especially if they've started in yr 7 there's no particilar hurry. The best boarding schools also offer a broader curriculum, a change in ethos and focus that day children aren't used too. Small things like not getting the hockey team feel like the end of the world at the moment but if she's that good the sports staff won't let it happen again they'll want her in their team ballet or no ballet, in a few weeks she'll have forgotten about this minor blip. It sounds like you've got good house staff.
Remain positive, assuming you choose the school because you liked it's ethos, what it offers and the staff you met then keep hold of that and remind your DD of the positives; more games/better coaching, more ballet, a wider choice of MFL, art, no travelling back and forth to school every day, what ever is particularly good about the school for you and your DD, the reason you both chose it over a day school. Under no circumstances must you start talking about leaving, going to your local day school, or becoming a day girl you've both made this choice she must give it a fair chance. Most boarders like most day pupils IME settle, with time over the years I only know a handful that have left because they couldn't settle.