Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Unauthorised absence

63 replies

verbeier · 23/05/2015 00:34

I am from another country, a fair distance away (OK, a very large distance away). I have two children here, as well as my DH (British). We like living here. My children generally don't have any family they see often here but my family dote on them. Now my DS is at school, the whole 'unauthorised absence' thing us weighing on me. We genuinely could not afford to go and see my family outside of term time. I appreciate that there may be some repercussions on my children's education, but the alternative is that they have no family in their lives. I am really torn. As I said, we do love our lives here generally. We could stretch to a term time holiday to see my family (it would still be hard for us) but a trip in school holidays would be actually impossible. Has anyone been in the same situation? My children love seeing my family outside the UK. Out if interest, not that I can afford it, but are private schools as strict about unauthorised absences? And, say I went for two weeks and suffered the consequences, could they kick us out of the school? I know there would be a fine.

OP posts:

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 07:41

Kids in my state school still take 1 or 2 weeks holiday. With much longer holidays of three months the kids tend to deregister from the school and reregister on return.

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/05/2015 07:45

I would de register from school, say you are going to home school then re register on you return

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 07:47

I know lots of people who take their child out for one week and are not fined. Two weeks may result in a small fine. Being made to leave the school or prison will only be for serious school avoiders. I'm talking about parents whose children majorly truant and may only attend school 40% of the time.

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 07:48

Pointless deregistering for two week hol as it runs a small chance of loosing a school place.

meditrina · 23/05/2015 07:49

"I would de register from school, say you are going to home school then re register on you return"

Never, ever do that if the school has a waiting list. That is the sure-fire way of losing your place, as it will be re-offered to another family as soon as they get your de-reg letter.

eatingworms · 23/05/2015 07:52

We've just cancelled a planned trip to visit my Mum in the summer holidays because we just can't afford it. We could definitely go in term time.
We're fortunate in that my Mum will be fine to come to us on her own instead, but as she gets older this could change. And it's very disappointing that DS is going to miss out on experiencing Mums country and culture, and on immersing himself in the language. I can't decide whether or not to flout the rules. He's 5 - would it really be that big a deal? We'd only go for a week.
I completely understand. In your shoes I would definitely go.

Original poster

verbeier · 23/05/2015 07:53

Thanks very much for more responses...I understand the school's reluctance to give leave. I was already shocked when I got a 'needs improvement' on my DS's report card after four days sick leave half way through year - two tummy bugs so was not going to bring him in, whatever the school said! I do think the system needs an overhaul, as it presumes that all parents are reckless, thoughtless and selfish - whereas I think that in some circumstances, family trips and time away actually benefit children (as long as parents are committed to ensuring their children do not fall behind). But its very alien to me admittedly - there is no such rule in my home country.

OP posts:

Piratespoo · 23/05/2015 07:55

You haven't addressed the issue of why you have to take them out term time? There are plenty of holiday weeks you can go. Why not go then? If it is important to you, you'll just have to find the extra money....if that is the reason

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/05/2015 07:57

If you home schooled, didnt bother going back to the school you could go any time you wanted.

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 23/05/2015 07:57

We had a parent deregister their child over holidays - they'd taken 2 weeks in Oct unauthorised. Then applied to take 2 weeks in June (so same school year). HT called them in and explained what would happen to the school if they did this. Dad got belligerent and mum made some comment about how she'd withdraw her children (2 plus one in nursery) if the school fell below good. HT said that she would support the parents if that was the route they wished to follow.

Parents deregistered in a fit of pique (This was January).

In April parents tried to reregister their children. Unfortunately by then the youngest child's class was full and the oldest child's class had 2 places planned for the coming June which would leave only one space.

They didn't return. I don't know what happened to them, but I do know that all the schools within about 6 miles of ours were full (because I'd tried to get DD into all of them!)

So deregistering is an option, but if you are in a popular area be very careful you don't lose the place completely.

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 07:59

Pirates. Did you not read the original post?

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 08:01

I value my child's education highly, however life is wider and richer then school

TwoLittleTerrors · 23/05/2015 08:01

I'm not sure where your logic comes from either. FYI DH family was from NZ and we know how much a plane ticket cost going there. Surely you can't get further from that? And it's a hell of a lot cheaper than private school fees.

You would be surprised that actually plane tickets aren't that much cheaper outside of term time depending on when you fly. My parents are in Hong Kong and we plan to fly Easter term break. A lot of these places aren't hot holiday destination for children. I don't think you mentioned which country it is your family is from. So that might apply to you as well. Obviously you can't get the cheapest deals as your time is restricted.

Original poster

verbeier · 23/05/2015 08:03

The flights in term time are £2,200 and in holidays it is £4,700. Then theres accomodation and spending (food, mostly). We simply don't have this money to spend, I wish we did as would consider it money well spent.

OP posts:

Original poster

verbeier · 23/05/2015 08:05

That was holidays meaning summer hols and Christmas, I haven't looked at Easter. I will give it a go.

OP posts:

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 08:06

How many children do you have

TandemFlux · 23/05/2015 08:06

There's always the summer I guess. Is it still expensive to travel then?

TwoLittleTerrors · 23/05/2015 08:14

verbier depending on how long you want to spend at your home country, you might be able to do the half term too if the school has inset day before or after the half term breaks. That's very common round here. Effectively you get two weekends. Maybe you can ask the school when they will set their inset days for next year?

TwoLittleTerrors · 23/05/2015 08:16

Looking at your prices it can't be Australia and New Zealand. So I assume just over a week is doable for you? We plan only spending 7 or 8 days with mg parents.

TwoLittleTerrors · 23/05/2015 08:18

Unless ofc you get really cheap flights! Our last flight was £3k for one adult, one child and one baby to Oz. Term time.

sandgrown · 23/05/2015 08:20

I would be interested to see how much of an impact these rules have had on the attendance of persist truants. It is a hammer to crack a nut and undermines the ability of heads to run their own schools. School league tables are a waste of time anyway as the figures are constantly manipulated. Our children miss out on a well rounded education because they are simply being taught to.pass exams. Sorry for the rant!

Original poster

verbeier · 23/05/2015 08:25

Two children over 2, going to Australia.

OP posts:

IsItMeOr · 23/05/2015 08:25

I can see your dilemma, and I would suggest you definitely have a chat with the headteacher to understand what might be possible.

I am surprised by your most recent posts saying that you would have to pay for accommodation - I think we have all been assuming that you would not have those costs as you would be staying with family. That would obviously make a difference.

Without knowing which country, it's hard for posters to help you with any intelligence about cheaper days/times to travel (e.g. travelling on New Year's eve has worked well for my far-flung family to save costs).

If it's a popular holiday destination, and you have to pay for accommodation too, then yes, you are going to have an issue.

Personally I would be planning to go every other year in school holidays, and finding out the best times to book flights and accommodation to get the best deals. But if you really want your children to be close to your family, realistically you need to be living in the same country.

Original poster

verbeier · 23/05/2015 08:32

Yes, I wish I didn't have to pay accommodation too. My family is ageing and they have all downsized. But, having done it before, it works having own accommodation.

OP posts:

Original poster

verbeier · 23/05/2015 08:33

IsItMe - I think you're right about school holidays. I will look into this and see if we can make this work.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread