So, if we do decide to change ds' primary school, how much do we tell him and when?

[northender]

That's it really. I'm going to look at a school tomorrow which we wish we'd considered last year when we were applying. It has a good reputation and was Ofsteded in Sept this year (came out very well). My worry is I don't want us to make the decision without ds seeing the school but I'm really concerned about the trauma moving schools will cause. I know the trauma will be short lived and he'll soon settle but it's still a real worry.

sorry it has come down to this

I don't think you should tell him anything till you are 100% sure that he has a place and that you are going to move him. Normally, new chidren start at a half term or beginning of term so if you do decide to move him, that sort of time may be the easiest.

I think you shouldn't tell him anything until you know he has a place. If he does get a place, I am sure he will be able to visit it before actually starting there.

Sorry you've lost faith with the other school
Think I'd make the initial decision first then arrange for him to go along towards Christmas , such as to see their nativity, Christmas fair or join in their party so it is a fun and relaxed event, with a view to starting in the New Year assuming all is well. Do they have 2 intakes so he might not be the only new one then ?

Once you have the place guaranteed I think it's important he knows about it well before starting and that he knows he didn't do anything wrong at the other school. Agree with others about going to relaxed Christmas events. Two of my children have changed primary school (admittedly a bit later though I wish we'd changed sooner) and it was the best thing we ever did by the way.

Thanks everyone that's really good advice I think about the Christmas event idea. dh and I have just been talking about it and we will give the Governors a chance to sort it out and then the LEA but if we can't get him back into rec v soon and like the school tomorrow and can get a place there (they do have 2 places) then we will move him after Christmas. I feel really pathetic, am sobbing as I type this, when he settled so well to begin with I was so happy and now I feel thoroughly miserable about it.

oh northender - there wasn't anything you could have done - you didn't know they were going to do this silly arrangement.

fwiw, I think you've been really brave throughout the whole thing and I can see why you want to change schools.

Thanks fis, I need some rest now so will sign myself off for the night. Will be back tomorrow after my school visit and I might have a letter to the governors to run past the mn editorial panel!!

I'm sorry the school is being so intransigent about the Y1 placement. I think it's a really difficult situation. Hope you like the school tomorrow!

really hope you feel better about this in the morning as in a good nights sleep always makes things look better in the morning . FWIW I think you are only hesistant about moving him because you think you have choices . (do I move him dont I ?) put it this way if you had to move house due to a job change you know he would have to get on with it and you would make the best of a bad situation . The whole class thing was bad enough but I truly think the schools attitude was bullying and awfull they backed you into a corner with no room for discussion. You dont really have a choice do you ? Move him when the answer is definate and sell it to him big time partys and fun times . if you are feeling upset now imagine how you will feel in year 3 when he has to do it again .My god my Ds is yr 3 now and I truly cant omaging any thng worse than repeating a year at age 7 . Best of Luck .

Feeling better today! The school visit went well, it's a lovely school and there's definitely a place for him if we want it. I think I feel better for knowing there is a good alternative if we don't get anywhere with the current school, which would still be our preferred option but if we exhaust all the lines of protest then there is a perfectly good alternative.

dh and I are going out tomorrow night (kids with gps) maybe the end of the night (lengthy pub crawl!) would be a good time to pen our letter to the governors!