Poll: would you/did you take 3yo along when choosing a primary school?

[melpomene]

DD1 is 3 1/2 and will start primary school next year. I've arranged to visit 2 primary schools and I'm not sure whether to take her along. The first school visit is at a time when she'd normally be in preschool anyway; the second visit is in the early evening.

What have other people done in these circumstances?

Not taken them.

I took mine along (daytime) the head was delighted as he just ran into the classroom and sat on the carpet with the others and announced ''I stay here''

Mind you, twas all downhill when he actually started He's never shown any such enthusiasm since!

I only take them if I have to. It's much easier to take in the surroundings get a proper impression of a place if you're not having to deal with a 3 year old. Also I don't think that at 3 you dd is able to be of any help forming an opinion of her own at this stage as she has no experience.

Depends on child, but I would try to take them. Just so you can see how they would interact with the environment, how inviting it is for them, whether they would fit in and like it.

If I had any viable babysitting I wouldn't take her.

We're actually viewing secondary schools atm, and we're visiting without ds1 so that we have chance to see what we want to see, say what we want to say, and ask what we want to ask.

Next year (when we have made the decision) we will to a marketing/promotional job on him so that he's happy with the decision; and he will come with us to see the (one) school.

I took ds1 along to his school when it had an open day so that it would become more real to him rather than just a place he walked past on the way to pre-school. It was probably slightly different for us though as we knew the school was undersubscribed and that he would be offered a place there.

we took DS with us and I think it was a good idea as it allowed us to have an idea of how the school staff interact with children or deal with particular behaviour. It also helped us to see how friendly the other children were.

Dp is going to have to take ds on Tuesday as we have no one else to have him....

Depends on your 3yo. With mine I avoided it as there was every chance that they would play up, and would distract me and the other parents. Our current school actually requests that parents shoudl not bring under 5s on a school visit, though fine for open days.

We did, but looking back, it makes me cringe a bit that we did!
But it was useful - DS became determined that it was 'his' school - and was looking forward to going to reception.

I would go once on my own and then take DS with me on a visit.

He came with me on visits to nurseries so I plan on doing the same on visits to schools. I like to see how the staff interact with him.

The schools close to us offer 'open afternoons' where you cna take your kid with you.

We took ours to school open days as lots of other children were there and there were games and rides etc and I suppose I vaguely thought they might impress the teachers, which is rubbish at that age and those schools. I wanted them to see what the school was like even at that age. If it had been an individual visit (I never had one of those) I would not have done.

If I had the choice I would not take them, you could end up being distracted and not listedning to the talk and miss some important points.

On one ocassion I had to take both of them a the appointment for parents was 9.15, ironically it was the school that they eventually went to.(nothing to do with 'their choice' )

as to seeing how the teachers interact with children - isn't there enough children at the school already to see this . They will have time to 'settle in' before they start school . the viists to these schoolls are usually short and I dont think that your child will get a feel for the school ( proabbly wont even remeber it by the time they start !) and whether they like it or not ...well. you'll find that out after they start ..you will not find that out in a short visit.

It is more important that you as a parent get the right feel for the school and having a another child with you may distract from this.

as for having a visit in the evening ... Id rather see how the school operates with children in. You'll get a feel for the school by how the current children behave not necessarily how yours does at 3 1/2 .

Good luck anyway .

i took them but also took my mother along (dh at work) so she could look after dd/ ds and i could ask all the questions i wanted. Worked really well and i felt that dd should see the environment and make her views known about anything she liked / did not like.

no I'd initially go on my own then maybe take children 2nd time round if I wanted to visit again

you can't concentrate fully on what's going on with other children and teachers if you are watching your 3 year old ..nor on what is being said to you

you need to be able to absorb the atmosphere

Yes, we took DD to all our school visits including the private school visits when she was a year old. We reasoned that it was DD who'd be going tot he school and we wanted to see how the school interected with her, especially when she was 3yo and a year away from starting. I certainly did help us. One so-called good school, and the main state school we were considering, took no interest in DD. Not one teacher spoke to her during our visit. the school she did go to (started this year) were the complerte opposite - got down to her level, spoke to her, asked her questions, etc.

We took ds to the open days at the prep schools, because they fell on Saturdays and on subsequent visits to the ones we chose. But he didn't go to the state ones as I did separate personal visits with the heads during their working day. Had there been time we'd have taken him to visit before applying but we were abroad by then.

The primary we chose was the only one that allowed children, including younger siblings, to attend. They did an evening which we went to alone but the Head wanted everyone to come back for the open day and see the school when full of children. So that time I went with 2, 3 & 4 yo DCs and they had a fabulous time!

The evening started at 7.00pm and there were several children present - most were asleep or making a lot of noise by the time it finished so I'd get a baby-sitter if you can.

Most schools are happy to show parents around during the day if you phone and make an appointment - so that's an option.

I took my twin DDs and they behaved appallingly . The head offered them his rotating chair to sit in and they had a huge screaming fight about who was going to sit in it first. I was convinced they wouldn't get a place at the school . But they did.

I wouldn't take them on a first visit. Might take them along on a subsequent visit that would be more geared towards them. The school DS will probably go to arranges evening slot to begin with that they push as parents-only (although sometimes the child comes too if parents can't arrange childcare) and then encourages you to come back in school hours, with the child if you'd like.

I took DS1 when he was two. I thought that seeing how the school treated him was an important part of assessing the atmosphere.

No. Though had their 'taster' afternoon have been awful for them, I would have reconsidered my choice.

I took ds to visit a primary school just before he was 3. He started being a bit of a pain - interupting everytime I spoke to the head. The head offered to let him go in the nursery class whilst I looked round and this worked really well. My ds came out saying he liked school and wanted to start straight away! He even made a good impression with the staff as he did all the tidying up at break time. I'm going to visit a couple of other schools soon and I'm not sure whether I'll take him as it may not work out so well next time however I don't have childcare on tap during the day so I may have to take him.