Quiet child at school

[Mog]

I hope there are some mums or teachers who might be able to give me a few pointers with this.
oldest dd is in year 1. Both her reception and current teacher have described her as very quiet. Outside of school she is not and is very chatty with friends. But in situations like reading with a TA or circle time etc she speaks in a very quiet voice.
Teachers are not worried as she is above average in reading, and does contribute but just very quietly.
Could anyone give me any tips on trying to get her to speak in her normal outside voice in the classroom. I'm at a loss what to practise as she obviously speaks to and reads to me in a normal voice at home. She's got two younger (very loud) brothers so she wouldn't get a look in if she didn't.
The current teacher said it is about her gaining confidence in herself as a learner but what can we do at home to help that?
I should add she is a summer birthday and therefore one of the younger ones which might be adding to it.
Also I'm worried if she is so quiet that she can almost be forgotten about in the classroom. Do any teachers have comments on this?
Would be grateful for any advice.

hi - i'm not a teacher but had something similar with dd. we chose not to do or say anything about it as we didn't want her to feel self conscious and like yours she was participating which seemed more important. think it just took time to adjust and to find her 'public' voice (i went through this at secondary!). if she's doing ok, happy and has friends then don't worry. she sounds bright and well adjusted so it will work out.

I think it will change with time too

You don't think it will develop into a habit then or that she will be overlooked because she is not as loud? Can I ask what age your children found their voice and if anything helped it?

Please don't worry about your child being quiet. You mention that she is above average in reading, this is really good. She is a younger child in the year group so the teacher will take this into consideration.

Please don't fret, she sounds like a bright girl, don't panic. Often the brightest children in a class are quiet, she is probably described as quietly confident. Has she got close friends in the class and plays happily in school etc.

If she has friends, is not afraid to go to school, gets on with her work, don't worry.

And although I say teachers are not worried, it is always the first thing mentioned about her - as if she has no other characteristics. I think that's what worries us the most. Got to go as she's screaming at me from the other room - if only they could hear her now .

Actually, that's not a bad idea Mog. I'm a teacher, and once worked with a very, very quiet child. Her mum taped her reading at home on a couple of occasions (with her permission), and then we listened to the tape together at school instead of reading together. That way, it gave me lots of chances to be really positive about the child's reading and expression. It was also really lovely for me to hear her ordinary voice as I had only ever heard a quiet whisper. Perhaps you could have a chat with the teacher about it.

That's a great suggestion Little fish. I'll discuss it with the teacher and I suppose that will help me gauge whether this is a serious problem or not. What I mean is if she says 'no,no that's not needed', I'll know that dd is more audible than I'm imagining and vice versa. Also dd reads with expression at home and am almost certain this won't be happening at school so taping would help teacher hear this.

I also taught twins who had completely different voices for the playground and classroom - incredibly quiet in the classroom, and amazingly loud in the playground if there were no adults around! I just went with it, gave them lots of opportunities to use their voices in different ways (drama, role play, singing etc.) and in time, over a couple of years they grew in confidence and started to use an appropriate voice in both situations.

Your daughter sounds lovely and I really don't think you should worry. As a summer birthday, she's still only 5 and a half which is very young. I'm sure that given time, and lots of encouragement, she will feel as confident at school as she obviously feels at home.

I like that idea too. we are taping ds voice every two years just so he can hear how it changes as he grows. don't think you should worry that they think its your dd's only characteristic as they also obviously see that she has friends is a good reader and so on. only thing i did with my dd was to encourage her to 'emote' when reading -we've always done voices and accents. she did it at school - just quietly. by year three she was narrator in a school assembly and on the school committee but her public voice was discovered before that. don't fret and certainly don't let her know you are worried.

I used to be a secondary school teacher and was a very quiet child when I was at school - obviously I eventually found my voice! It doesn't sound like your dd has any real problem if she is at contributing, albeit quietly. Based on my experiences and those of the children I taught, IMHO the worse thing you can do is keep drawing attention to it as she will then become self conscious about it.
By all means discuss it further with the teachers if you are worried but it sounds like you are already doing what you can to help her confidence at home and it will eventually help at school. The teachers should be doing things like Littlefish describes in her post about the twins.

Bigfatred- that's amazing the change inyour dd - narrating to a big audience is big stuff.
Thanks for all your reassurance. I've just put dd to bed and she told me she had a boyfriend called Liam and he kissed her at school today. Not that shy then .
the teachers haven't told me of specific ways they are getting her to use her voice like Littlefish mentioned so perhaps I'll bring it up at parents evening next week.

don't push her to speak at school that could make her withdraw more. How about if she was given a puppet to read to at school, what I mean is if she read to puppet on teachers hand. I had a child who would not speak to adults but would talk to our class puppet, she would have conversations,read, giggle and tell jokes then1 day she said I don't need the puppet and chatted away. Am sure when daughter feels happy and confident in her surroundings she will come out of her shell. Children r completley different when they are at home as they r confident and in familiar surroundings. Had loads of parents come to me at parents evenings and say hang on u have got the right child, my child is loud, unhelpful, rude.... I will have just told them what a quiet, well behaved, cooperative child they have. It is amazing!

My DS was described as quiet in the last parents evening and has always been described as sensitive. He is now Year 2 but is very chatty at home. He has lots of friends though and his best friends are all quiet too so that is just what he is like. He is also a bit of a perfectionist. Complete opposite to me but he wants to be a scientist when he grows up so it's just the way he is and therefore I am not going to try and change him if that is how he is comfortable. However, I have tried to get him to ask questions when he does not understand anything as I do think this held him back slightly.

MOg, I was very quiet at school, at university, at my first work and it was not that bad, when I spoke EVERYONE listened . Now that I speak all the time nobody pay attention to me!