Private education

[bluetea]

Hi all,

I am a primary school teacher (state) and have the opportunity to send my son (he is currently 2 and a half years old) to private school. We are looking at Banstead Priory Prep School, but have also visited Chinthurst. I have been to look around Priory Prep three times now and as much as I want the best for my child (don't we all), I am just not sure that I can send him there or in fact to any private school. When I look around, there just doesn't seem to be any fun! The activities that they put out on the tables are so prescriptive, so boring. It is so old school, I feel that they might just crush his individuality, his spirit. I was always under the impression that private school equals better education, but now I feel very differently, it just means smaller class sizes. Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks,

Bluetea

Private school in seems can equal better facilities, esp extra curricular. I am firmly of the opinion, ag primary level, it doesn't necessarily offer a better education.

Are your primary school options poor?

Can you save the "opportunity" for secondary school instead?

I agree that the quality of teaching, facilities and peer group probably make more difference at secondary than primary.

Slightly surprised as a teacher yourself you have so little confidence in the state system.

Don't bother with primary.

Consider the options for secondary instead.

Hello OP

From my experience this type of school exists in both sectors.
I know a very oversubscribed state catholic school which sounds exactly as you describe.
The children are like little soldiers and individuality is not promoted at all.
I also know schools like this from the private sector.
There are some lovely private schools that offer a better education, better facilities and a whole host of extra curricular activities.
It really is down to the individual schools and not the sector, imo.

Have you looked at Aberdour? I know of people who have sent their kids there - it's good really good sports facilities and they rave about it. No idea how structured the academic died is though.

You should read the Ridgeway thread op and the comments re the boring, traditional state schools in Epsom - they sound just like the private schools you've visited a few miles away! You obviously need to spread your net a little wider and visit some more schools. IME prep schools have more than their fair share of quirky, individual children with plenty to say - they don't seem 'crushed' in the slightest.

Slightly surprised as a teacher yourself you have so little confidence in the state system.

Judging by the number of teachers who send their children to my sons old prep school it would seem a lot of teachers who work in the state sector have little confidence in the state system. Those teacher parents do often say that they avoid conversations about their choices with certain people though.

I don't know the schools that you mention but when we moved our children from state to private we found exactly the opposite. In our state school the teachers seemed stressed, focused on test results to the exclusion of all else and delivering the same lessons year after year with little opportunity for creativity and fun. The prep school we moved to has been an utter transformation. The children are all happy and engaged, with masses of interesting and creative opportunities inside lessons and extra-curricular. The staff hold information evenings where they talk actively about new methods that they are using and creative ideas for lessons. I am no teacher but the impact on the children has been obvious: a huge transformation in their happiness, confidence and enthusiasm. My DS commented when he moved that he found the lessons much better because the teacher talked to you and did things with you whereas at the old school he was just expected to get on with the worksheets on his desk.

Now I think that just tells you that we've moved from a rubbish school to a good one. We visited 6 private schools and certainly saw schools that fit the description you give. I'm sure many people would also have state schools at which they would make similar comments to those I have about our current school. I don't think the division is state/private but the advantage of being able to pay means you have greater choice so a better chance of finding a school that fits with what you want.

I started mine off in our local school.When kids are young its lovely for them to be part of the local community.Mine are fairly sharp and used to standing up for themselves in very mixed classes.Three of mine have won scholarships or are above average ( the state system hasn't worked brilliantly for one however).I have transferred them to private schools for their secondary education though,as the local comprehensive is poor.

speaking as someone whose kids are currently at a prep school, I echo what everyone has said!

while my kids are very happy and have made lots of good friends, I now realise that actually mixing with a broader range of kids would have done them a world of good. I also think that the expectations of 11+ results are starting to weigh quite heavily on us as a family (school are preparing them like crazy) - and I don't think that would be the case if they'd gone state.

They're bright kids and I'm sure they would have done fine there - as indeed dh and I did at our local schools.

This subject crops up many times in these forums, that paying for a school is no guarantee that it will be any good, although how some of these places survive in the current climate amazes me.

What you describe is certainly nothing like the prep school my son went to.
We moved him from state to private when he was 7. He was at a pretty good school and I wasn't sure it was worth it - until I visited the new school and was totally blown away.

Follow your instincts. If you don't like the school then don't send your son there - and especially don't pay for it!

The option to go private just expands the range of schools you have to choose from. Don't assume the one you eventually select will be private. My three are in private as we found a school we fell in love with (not pressure, lots of time outside, great results, great extra curricula, lovely atmosphere) however I saw some private schools that you couldn't pay me to send a child to. (One school liked to engineer their 11+ results by encouraging the less academic children to leave, one had a playground where you weren't allowed to run around!).

Private school is not cheap. I began by compiling a list of possible schools and writing down phone numbers.

I initially wanted to send DSD to a good state school. We toured the school in the summer. I typed up a lot of questions to ask them about the school.

Beforehand I emailed the school politely asking if I could observe them teaching a lesson. For me personally visiting each school and watching them teach the children lessons on English etc was helpful.

I also recommend reading any inspection reports and checking out the website. The website supplied us with lots of details about the curriculum and other vital information. Also if there are pictures or videos take a look at them.

Good and bad in both state and private sector. You need to do your homework and pick what is best for your kids given your resources.

I actually think what goes on in primary school is very important in terms of the habits and attitudes it creates. If I was forced to choose between paying fees at a good primary vs a good secondary, I'd pick primary other things being equal. I am not at all convinced by the "save your money for secondary" plan. Spending the money earlier can get more impact.

Hi first time post. Can anyone offer some up to date info on Mount Kelly School in Tavistock. Thinking of sending our son there next Sept year 7 on school swim programme. He has also been identified as Gifted and talented academically so trying to balance his sport and education. Would be grateful if anyone has any info or advice about the school and especially the swim programme and how their children cope with both. Thanks

The reason for saving money for secondary is that often the educational outcomes are as good at state primary as they are in an independent primary school. The big big difference is if you want CE at 13, then you need to find a prep school that does it and goes to y8.

Hi Pippykin
I wd suggest u repost and put name of school on which u wd like opinions into the title?
Sounds like you could seek sports and academic scholarships somewhere really sporty like Millfield, if yr DS is exceptionally academic and a great sports talent?

Thanks I’m a complete technophobe so I’m amazed I even managed to place something on Mumsnet. Will try to work out how to start new thread😬
Millfields not so academic and have heard various things about swim programme which put me off.
Thanks