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Original poster

Exchange private school place for state?

34 replies

vintagechicmum · 11/03/2015 11:55

We've been offered a bursary to a very good local private school (good results, kids seem happy, lots of extra-curriculum activities) in Berkshire for my DD to start Y7 in September. She loved the school and we liked it too. We're very grateful to get the bursary which makes the fees just about affordable. DD was v.happy in her state primary but didn’t get any of our six secondary school preferences and has been allocated a poor alternative.

However, my husband has just been offered a position in Devon where we have family and friends. We can’t afford to go private without a bursary and all the funds for private schools in that area have been allocated, so we'd have to somehow find her a state school place (I've contacted the LEA, nothing available yet). We have a TINY 3-bed semi in Berks which would equate to a 4-bed detached in Devon, along with a more rural environment and closer to family.

So, my question is: would you give up the place at the private school in exchange for an unknown school place, but larger house and possibly a better quality of life? I think I know which way I'll go but any comments would be very welcome!

OP posts:
lunar1 · 11/03/2015 12:11

Can you research the schools you be likely to get into if you move and then compare? My children are in private but only because we can't move due to work. If I could move we would reevaluate the decision.

QuicheConverter · 11/03/2015 12:15

It depends on where in Devon tbh - some areas I wouldn't hesitate as I believe quality of life for the whole family is important and you can gain a lot from a pleasant home and extras such as nice walks etc. However, some areas of Devon do not have any choice of secondary schools and if you struggle to get a space you may have to travel long distances to the next one.

Location, location in this case I think!

redskybynight · 11/03/2015 12:26

I'd go to Devon.
I might waiver slightly if she'd actually started school but actually in reality you are exchanging one unknown school with another. But lots of peripheral positives which will count for a lot!

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 11/03/2015 12:33

As Quiche said, it depends entirely on what the state school options are in the relevant bit of Devon (it's a very big county!).

Original poster
vintagechicmum · 11/03/2015 12:55

I've researched the schools in the area, some ok ones but the results etc nothing like the results at the private school. My daughter is pretty academic and enjoys being challenged. It all depends on if a place opens up at a half-decent state school, which hasn't happened yet! I guess there are lots of appeals currently happening so schools may genuinely not know how many places they've got. Will keep contacting the LEA to see if any spaces freeing up.

OP posts:
mummytime · 11/03/2015 14:18

Okay in my area Private schools (even the less academic) get close to 100% with 5GCSEs a-c, for most those are pretty much all A-A*. The best state schools get 80%+ 5 GCSES a-c, but they take everyone, so that is just as good result.

I'd go for the house and quality of life, especially if you can the afford tutors for any targeted help needed.

redskybynight · 11/03/2015 14:41

Any school that is selective (and all private schools are selective by ability to pay) will get better results than a school that isn't. What you need to figure out is how "children like your child" will do there.

Mutley77 · 11/03/2015 14:57

Doesn't it depend on your DD's feelings at all? I felt a bit sad for her reading all of this as I'm assuming she invested a fair amount in getting the bursary and wants to go to the school.

Ok there may be more to life, and it may be as good for her overall to move to Devon (and better for you as a family) but to just do away with what she's worked for seems really harsh. Fine if she had an inkling it was coming and/or wasn't particularly invested but actually if she's worked hard and achieved this, with your support, can you not wait and re-locate to Devon once she's finished school?

Based on the straight choice, I would choose Devon, private school is not the be all and end all and if you were making the decision while she was in year 4 and hadn't even thought about it there wouldn't be any question in my mind - go to Devon in the state system. But personally if my DD had invested a lot in the bursary option, supported by me, and wanted to go to that private shcool I would feel like I had betrayed her if I moved her out of the area and removed her options. Is there an opportunity to board at the private school as that would perhaps present her with a fairer choice - stay and board or go and live in Devon?

Original poster
vintagechicmum · 11/03/2015 17:44

Very good point Mutley, and the main reason why I'm not over on Rightmove checking out gorgeous houses in Devon... No option for boarding at this school. Like you say, if this was two years ago, there'd be no dilemma, we'd just go straight to Devon. But in our current situation, maybe we sit it out, she goes to the school she likes and we move to Devon in 7 years time. And I just make the most of my very tiny house Smile

OP posts:
Hillingdon · 11/03/2015 21:32

Someone will come along soon and state that bright children do well anywhere. No they don't! I wouldn't swap my DS private education for all the tea in China..... I would stay where you are.

Stickerrocks · 11/03/2015 22:20

The likelihood is that a bright child will do well in a school in Devon. If she has done well in a state primary, she is unlikely to do any less well in a state secondary school. After all, the state system educates 93% of the population and plenty of those children still manage to achieve good exam results, access higher education or follow ambitious career paths. You may find she thrives without the pressure of having to meet bursary expectations in a less competitive atmosphere. Contrary to popular MN opinion, there are many state educated children who also want to do well and they are given the opportunity to do so.

Barbarella · 11/03/2015 22:22

Go to Devon, get the bigger house
It'll be fine

MsShellShocked · 11/03/2015 22:57

Devon. No question for me.

Especially compared to a private school in Berkshire which is an 11+ area so private schools don't tend to attract all of the academic pupils they would elsewhere.

I don't think any of the private schools in Berkshire are worth staying in Berkshire for.

Did she sit the 11+?

wonderingstar01 · 12/03/2015 00:03

I moved my DD from an independent to a state secondary when she was in Yr 9 (she really couldn't stand the environment) and the transformation in her has been incredible. She is now no longer invisible in a pool of kids where her academic abilities were deemed to be average. Her GCSE target grades have gone from As, Bs and some Cs at the independent to all As and some Bs at her state school. As long as there's a decent state school (rated as good or above), I wouldn't hesitate making the move. Berkshire has it's plus points I suppose but give me Devon any day.

Doublethecuddles · 12/03/2015 07:43

What family do you have in Devon? If there are grandparents and cousins will she get to see more of them? If there are grandparents they will be able to be far more involved with your DD life. IMO this an be a very special and worthwhile.
Will your DD have more freedom and independence in Devon? Is it s safer environment than where you are at the moment?
7 years is a long time for you and your DH to be unhappy. Would you have more family time together? Would your DH spend 7 years wishing he had taken the job offer?
I am sure there are good schools in Devon and even if they are not as good, I think it would be worthwhile for an enriched home life.

myron · 12/03/2015 11:15

I would move to Devon - being near family support is hugely important. Moving to a new place and a new school at the same time will be fine. Ultimately, what's best for the family as a whole trumps being able to access a good school especially if it's an either or scenario like yours. I say this as a parent who does value a decent education highly but you need to put it in perspective. Health and the wellbeing of the family comes first.

Moonatic · 12/03/2015 11:31

It does seem to make sense to move to Devon, but I wonder if there is any way to "compensate" your dd for missing out on her private school place? Is there anything she would like to do which you might now be able to afford in lieu of private school fees - e.g. riding lessons, music lessons, Stagecoach or whatever she might be interested in? Just something to make the move seem more attractive to her and to help stop her feeling as if she is missing out.

GentlyBenevolent · 12/03/2015 11:54

There are private schools in Devon. You could buy a smaller house...

There are also grammar schools in Devon.

iseenodust · 12/03/2015 11:58

I'd move to Devon. She hasn't even started at the school. Moonatic's advice sounds good.

Original poster
vintagechicmum · 12/03/2015 14:18

Thank you for all the comments, it's interesting and helpful to see what others think. We have one GP there, along with a couple of uncles and an aunt (no cousins yet), although she doesn't have any friends there and would miss friends from Berks. I'm in contact with schools in Devon at the moment so it really all depends on where we find a place for her. Once that happens, we can actually make the decision either way. I like Moonatic's advice; will have to think of something she might not be able to do if we stay with the private school but she could do in Devon. Surfing maybe!!

OP posts:
GentlyBenevolent · 12/03/2015 15:04

Which bit of Devon are you actually considering - it's a big place...

dietcokeisgreat · 12/03/2015 17:59

You need to consider the whole family. What about your huband's job/ career? Other kids? Yourself?

A bigger house anddifferent lifestyle might be beneficial for everyone. Or maybe not!

One option:
Start at whatever she is offered in devon, consider private from yr9/10 if needs a different environemnt when exams come about. Fewer years to pay for the and you could try for bursary or scholarships if yo want.

Good luck!

Original poster
vintagechicmum · 13/03/2015 07:39

Slight change of plan as if DH has been told that if he takes the new position, it will actually be based in Gloucestershire. So would be looking at Chelt/Glos area. Still worth considering as we do know and like this area, and is closer to family than where we are now. Again, all dependant on what places schools have left. Looks like she's too late to get into any of the grammar schools there but will try the others. All good fun...

OP posts:
HmmAnOxfordComma · 13/03/2015 08:04

Good advice in the last few posts particularly, especially about 'bribing' her with extra curriculars. OR keeping money aside that you would have spent on reduced fees and then you have it in case you want to move her to private for yr 9/yr 12. She may even get a scholarship/bursary at one of those entry points.

That's not to say that you won't find a state school that you and she are both thrilled with, but you have options. Like keeping money back out of the equity in your house if where you are moving to is much cheaper.

BikeRunSki · 13/03/2015 10:00

Is moving to Cheltenham area with moving for, if family are still not actually local?

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