i contacted DC's sixth form college tutor - she spoke to him directly

[Buttyfly]

DC is not getting to school on time, missed a lot of 8.30 am lessons. We usually get a text, but once he got wise to this, he started emailing in sick. I emailed the tutor (met briefly at the start of year) and asked for a meeting (nothing else mentioned). Today DC has said that tutor pulled him aside and said that I had emailed her and that I was 'not to worry' as he was 'doing fine'. I have not heard from her. Would a tutor not reply directly to a parent? The fact is, I am not his parent, I am his carer and as such in a slightly more complicated situation. I don't want to spread this far and wide at his school (I haven't informed them) as he is 17 and this is his info to give out now. Any ideas how I should proceed? I want to contact her, but I don't want everything I say to be channelled back through ultra-defensive DC.

DS1 is the same age and at college. I would have expected the tutor to reply to me directly TBH - even if it was just a quick e-mail to say that DC was "doing fine" and asking what I was concerned about.

Yes, they do treat the students more as adults than they would at school & do expect them to raise their own issues/sort through their own problems. But contact with parents/carers still definitely happens if need be.

Do you believe your DC when he said that the tutor said it was fine he was missing loads of morning lessons?

Email the tutor again requesting a phone call or face to face meeting. Your DC might be treated more like an adult, but he isn't an adult yet.

Yy- what giraffe said

And yes they do treat dcs more like adults-but afaik they don't take the student's emails as authorisation for absence-it has to come from the parent/carer as well

Has he asked for you to not be involved? did he sign for his own responsibility.
If he has done this unfortunately the tutor will be unable to speak to you due to data protection.
i used to hate the dc who did this because they were always the ones I would have liked contact with parents/ guardians.
I take it this is a college and not a school.

It's a sixth form college. I don't think he signed for responsibility - I will check. It's unlikely though.

I'm quite sure she didn't say it in the words he described, but he has obviously been spoken to by her and told he is doing fine but needs to watch his timekeeping. What annoys me is that I didn't express any particular concern in my email, so she has no idea what I want to speak to her about. I think I will email her again.