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Thrilled that DS offered 11+ place at RGS Guildford but...

23 replies

AdviceNeededNameChange · 05/03/2015 21:37

in the offer letter we were told that although we QUALIFY for a bursary, they have run out of funds so we would be expected to pay full fees. Has anyone else had experience of this?

DH and I had a meeting with Dr Cox a week ago to check in with anything he thought we could do. He gave us hope, optimistically saying that it's still early days, and funds may become available. We came away much relieved. But today we got the news that this hasn't happened by a phone call from admissions.

DS has set his heart on taking the place offered to him and we've been told he would thrive there. However, we couldn't pay for the fees without bursary help.

I've spoken to a mum who has a DS currently at RGS saying that this happened to her, a few years ago, and they found her bursary help all of a sudden. But this is the only case we know of. I've crossed my fingers since DS was offered the place, but today it felt like the door closed and we are really sad.

Name changed to protect DS. Would love to hear from any other RGS parents who had/are having similar. Would like to know if this is the moment we ought to give up and accept the place we have at local comp.

Thanks

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inthename · 05/03/2015 23:01

Even if you decide to wait it out, accept the local comp place as you have nothing to lose, you can always reject the comp place well before the start date.
It really depends how long there is until RGS would want confirmation of you accepting the place and becoming therefore presumably liable for fees etc.
Have you spoken to Dr Cox again personally and asked for clarity. (I haven't heard of any friends being told they qualify for a bursary at RGS and then getting nothing at all, it seems to normally be they offer a smaller % to each family who then have to decide whether they can afford the difference or not)
Best of luck to you

mummytime · 06/03/2015 06:18

Accept the Comp place.
Do some of your own investigation. Someone I know really couldn't pay fees, and hadn't been offered enough of a bursary for her son; she spent quite a bit of time contacting educational charities etc. and in the end enough funding was found - I'm not sure how. It is still early days.

AdviceNeededNameChange · 06/03/2015 08:50

Thank you.. Inthename and mummytime
The deadline for RGS was this Wednesday. They gave us a few extra days in case a bursary place was not accepted by another, but yesterday they told us 'no more bursary money has been found' probably meaning that everyone who was offered a bursary accepted.
I do find it hard to bare considering we haven't been offered any assistance - even a small amount. We, in truth, wouldn't have put DS and the whole family through this if we had known that bursary places potentially 'run out'. We could never afford private education. The reason we did it is because at the open day we were told of the bursary scheme and that they don't turn away a boy who has potential but is unable to afford it. Being offered a place is clearly a sign of potential...
I'm going to speak to admissions again, and then book another appointment with Dr Cox
I haven't contacted any education charities. Thanks for that info mummytime. I'll google now.

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AdviceNeededNameChange · 06/03/2015 09:13

The education charities I've found seem to exist for vulnerable children. Can't find anything that would assist us, but maybe not looking properly. Hope you don't mind me asking, mummytime.. Was the person you're referring to an RGS parent?

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mummytime · 06/03/2015 10:09

Yes. But I'd talk to Dr Cox and see what he says, RGS really doesn't like turning away someone who has the right potential. They can at least agree to waive the notice period for a bit to give you time.

AdviceNeededNameChange · 06/03/2015 10:28

DH spoke to Mrs Sweet. She said she would speak to Dr Cox. And just heard back that Dr Cox is willing to extend until THIS Monday 9.30..
I suppose they have boys on a waiting list.
It all feels harsh from our PoV though. Really not sure what to do. Sadly think our only option is to turn down our place. But with massive regret. I really wouldn't have put DS through all this if I'd known of this outcome. I just keep picturing his face when he got the acceptance letter. He was over the moon.
I would have preferred he hadn't been offered a place at all... Talk about carrot dangling Sad

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cingolimama · 06/03/2015 11:22

OP, you have my sympathies. I'm watching this thread closely as I'm applying next to private schools but a bursary will be necessary.

I totally understand your despair and your anger. However, you need to remain totally calm, reasonable and charming in your dealings with RGS. I'm in another area so don't know RGS specifically, but you must thoroughly investigate other sources of funding. You must also have that calm chat with RGS - perhaps email them first with your thoughts. Emphasize how impressed you are with RGS (be specific), how your son will thrive there, his huge potential and talent, what he can bring to the school, and how committed you both are as parents to his education etc, rather than how unfair it is (and it is, I know). In other words, don't "go negative", but remain relentlessly optimistic with them - the funding is a problem that they must help you sort out.

Good luck!

AdviceNeededNameChange · 06/03/2015 11:47

Thanks Clingo. That's excellent advice..
Will try and keep positive in all situations. Feeling vulnerable and wretched at mo. I'll have a cuppa and work out what to do next Brew

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JewelFairies · 06/03/2015 13:21

Brew Cake for you and some luck, too.

summerends · 06/03/2015 14:53

Advice there is no way that the bursary pot would be limitless (they are n't Eton) , there would always have to be a line drawn at some point in some sort of ranking order, particularly if increasing numbers of families like yourselves with bright boys apply. They should make that clearer upfront.
Would you consider taking up the comprehensive but asking to keep your DS on a bursary waiting list (if it exists) until the next entry point at 13?

AdviceNeededNameChange · 06/03/2015 16:33

Thanks summerends. Yes, think it was naive of me not to realise and it certainly wasn't clear. I just heard of bursaries for RGS, know of people locally who have been lucky enough to get them and thought we would qualify. DS getting the place now seems like the easy bit!
There's no change from RGS and so it's a fait accompli - its decision time for us. Have the weekend to work out what to do. Could ask about the 13+ option.
Wish we had applied for other schools and looked in to bursaries elsewhere in hindsight.
Such a confusing time.

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summerends · 06/03/2015 16:43

You obviously have a very bright boy and I hope he will end up by being proud of his achievement and that gives him the boost of confidence that he is n't dependent on a particular school for his future success.

LIZS · 06/03/2015 16:46

It might be worth ringing around other schools to see if they doing another sitting and still have funds, especially a prep school for year 7 & 8 if deferring or applying elsewhere at 13+ might still be an option.

mummytime · 06/03/2015 17:35

Depending on Primary school you might want to ask their advice. Also do phone the alternatives and see if there is any chance they can help. Your son is obviously bright to have got into RGS.

But the Comp may be a great choice (depends on which one it is). I heard of a boy who went to Winston Churchill and then Godalming College and is off to Harvard this autumn. And plenty of Comps in Surrey send people regularly to Oxbridge. Lots of perfectly bright boys can't go to RGS for one reason or another.

AdviceNeededNameChange · 06/03/2015 21:29

DS's current primary school is not really supportive unfortunately. They think DS is great and lovely, just not very supportive regarding private education. Local state secondary school has a good reputation, although I've heard some of the teaching is really ropey in certain areas. Generally I have a good feeling about the place as much of the teaching is great.
It's DS that really wants RGS.
It's a tough one
Thanks everyone for sharing thoughts. It really helps

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mummytime · 06/03/2015 21:56

Maybe find out what he likes so much about RGS, and see if he can access that another way.

summerends · 06/03/2015 22:20

It seems a horrible way of building up his hopes and then letting him down. 'We know that you can't pay but he can only come if you can pay'. A more honest way would be to say 'this year we have money for one full bursary or the equivalent divided up and it will be allocated by a competitive process.
'mummytime is right however I still think it is worth gently pointing out how keen your DS is and please could they bear that in mind should the funds become available by year 8.

AdviceNeededNameChange · 07/03/2015 07:10

Thanks again. Bit of a sleepless night to say the least.
Mummytime, DS went to the RGS summer school - not sure if you know about this but to explain, every year a few children are selected from local state schools in Guildford for being academically 'gifted' and go for a week long summer school at the RGS for free. He loved the teaching during his week, loved the classics (he's a big reader and wants to be an author, he says) and came away determined that was where he wanted to go. So really it was the specific teachers and style of teaching he connected with.
summerends - you put it exactly right. That is what I'm feeling.
Off to work now so I will have to put all thoughts on hold for time being. Hope I get through the day!!

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mummytime · 07/03/2015 07:19

Well he might not have got those teachers even if he went, and the way they teach in the summer school could be very different from normal school life.

It might be worth ringing other schools, and prep schools.

I am sad that his hopes were built up like this. Its not a situation I've heard before.

Isithappening · 07/03/2015 08:22

Even the bigger schools which offer a lot of bursary funding have a limit on how many bursaries they are able to provide.
It is very misleading that the school have said that they won't turn away any children who meet the academic criteria when they clearly have to due to a lack of funds. I think every single independent school receives more applications for bursary funding than they are able to provide and therefore they usually allocate the funds based on academic merit as well as financial means testing. The Manchester Grammar school has one of the best bursary funds and provision in the country (over 200 boys out of a total of 1500 pupils get some level of bursary funding) but they still had to turn down 30 boys for bursaries who had met the academic levels on assessments last year.
I think it is really important to not be deterred from applying for a bursary place but to discuss with the child that if he gets a place with no bursary offered then he will not be able to take up the place. I think as long as children are aware of that then they will still be disappointed but will hopefully have a plan B that has been 'bigged up' and will come to terms with the situation more easily.
There is sometimes movement quite late on bursary reserve lists as it is difficult to decide which place to accept when more than one bursary has been offered. Don't give up hope just yet, but do visit the comp and point out all of the benefits it has to your son .

AdviceNeededNameChange · 07/03/2015 21:48

Great advice again. Thank you
We have certainly bigged up local comp. all his friends are going there etc
The disappointment is there because he worked so hard on the 11+ exam itself and was delighted that he got in. It was a major deal for him as he'd never had an exam in his life. We had really managed his expectations by giving him the low down on how unlikely it would be to get in..etc..
Another parent I spoke to who got a letter from RGS stating there were no bursary funds a year or so ago, suddenly got good news and had a bursary place offered to her a few weeks later. That was our only experience, so naively I thought it would be positive for us too, if we waited. We were in a similar situation as her and her family so felt confident to compare like for like. That and coupled with visit to headmaster who was optimistic and told us so. We wanted to check we weren't being too complacent, I suppose. Head also told us how much they would like DS at their school and that he showed heaps of potential. That's why they offered him a place even though bursary places had all been offered out.
However it hasn't worked (yet) for us and when speaking to admissions Friday we were told that's it now. No more bursary funds for definite. So, it's a place with full fees or we drop out.
My advice to anyone in the future is to be cautious. Bursary places are competitive, not just on need (of which we score highly apparently) but on the score of the original paper sat on the 11+ exam day. It's quite a twist to DS's great achievement. .. And of course he will do well anywhere, and we keep very positive about other options.
I am going to start ringing round other places on Monday, just to check.
And definitely book an appointment with local comp

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Coffee999 · 07/02/2019 12:35

Hello, I am wondering what happened in the end? I think my son will receive an offer for the RGS next week but we need a bursary too so I am worried what will happen if they don't have any bursary money.

sazzy5 · 07/02/2019 13:36

Unfortunately it isn't an unlimited pot, some DS will be disappointed. I do know that a substantial number of boys have bursaries, I can't remember what Dr Cox said but it was high. So you may be lucky.
My advice would've been to try for some of the less academic schools and gone down the academic/bursary route.
Fingers crossed it works out for you and your DS.

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