Curious to know your thoughts

[iwonderwhat]

I've just glanced through the 'Tell me about a "privileged" education' thread and it's got me wondering what you would do if . . .

1. You had plenty of £££ which meant your DC were "sorted" financially for life even if they never got a well-paid job;

1. Your local choices of secondary education (comp, academy, independent) were all very good;

AND

1. Your DC were at least average in academic terms, had no "problems" and, for arguments sake, would happily go along with their parents' decision.

Would you want to:

(a) ensure they made the most of every opportunity you could afford to give them;

(b) allow them to coast along and simply enjoy school;

(c) get them into the school with the best exam results?

All slightly hypothetical but I'd be interested to know your opinions!

The last Labour government brought in a law which made all trust funds available to their beneficiaries at the age of 18 - i.e. it is not possible for the funds to be kept until the beneficiary is 30 or 40 or whatever.
Presumably the reason for this was the hope that all these 'rich posh kids' would blow their inheritances on fast cars and drugs etc. whereas if they'd got their hands on it when older they might have been more responsible and held on to it.

What WordFactory's DH plans to do regarding property sounds logical but I would also have some sympathy with the idea that the DC need to feel as if they are planning for their own future and contributing towards major purchases. Maybe you just get them to put aside the equivalent amount they'd be paying in rent or mortgage into some sort of savings plans so that they don't just fritter it away. [Or put it aside to look after their ageing parents in a luxurious care homes when the time comes?!]

Certainly it would seem odd to accumulate large student debts if that is unnecessary but how do they then deal with their peer group, 99% of whom are likely to have no choice about having loans etc. Will they feel guilty? Do they just keep quiet about it? I know the world is a very unfair place and there is more to life than money but an issue like this could cause problems if others perceive them to have had it all too easy.

I didn't know that, Dapplegrey - did the Tories not want to change that back?

My DSS1 is at university in the UK and doesn't have a loan. But he is not in some tiny minority of 1%. Lots of his peers are fully funded by parents.

I'd continue to home ed but at a whole new level. Volcano? Let's go and look at one...
Funnily enough I was dreaming about this today.

Did anyone see that mini series "Jon Richardson Grows Up"?

There was an episode about Money. In particular, the lottery winner who's generosity ripped apart his family and friendships but also the self made multi-millionare that sold everything (keeping nothing for inheritance hand downs) and set up a cancer patient transport charity. Again, family in tatters.

Whether they kept it or gave it away, money can be a deadly trojan.

That said, I could always do with more.

I think £50 million would do it for me.......

I figure that the percentage of parent funded students will differ depending on university.

There are certain places that the children of the well heeled gravitate towards, where I suspect it wouldn't be unusual to be parent funded.

I'm quite surprised the young people talk about it, though. Wouldn't that be considered a bit insensitive? Or am I over thinking?

You're wildly overthinking, TheWordFactory. In a context where a lot of DC live in accommodation that is owned either by their own parents or parents of friends, people are pretty upfront about finances, where they are from and where they are going.

My DSS1 lives in a lovely house with three other students. His landlords are the parents of one of those students. Said landlord parents wanted to meet DP before taking DSS1 as a tenant. When I was a student I was approached by the parents of another student and offered accommodation in their property - my parents were solvent and I was a "good influence" (!).

Hello Bonsoir.

I think I'd take the Peter Jones philosophy long term, thats after education.
He promised to double the income of his dc unless they became carers/public services . In which case I think he said 5x, could even have been 10x.

Prior to this I would make sure the school they attended pushed dc into working hard, reaching their potential and not let them coast iyswim.
I think its more to do with the school than the actual sector the school belongs to.
it could actually be the worst state school on paper with the worst results if thats where you think an individual would succeed.
I also think if you have more than one dc that different schools may be needed to meet the individuals need as our children can be poles apart.

I would look at their personalities foremost, then their academic ability, their interests, etc and decide from there.

Finally, I think its important for those who come from a privileged background to gain values of a good work ethic and standing on own two feet to support themselves, rather than waiting for inevitable hand outs from parents.

"Whether they kept it or gave it away, money can be a deadly trojan."

Very true, MN, very true.

Iwonderwhat - not sure why the Tories didn't change it back. No support from the Libdems, too many other things to do, I don't know.
However, I think there are ways around it. As far as I know you don't have to tell the 18 year old that said fund exists, or you can do what friends of ours did and buy a flat in London and use the money to pay the mortgage. Or you can pay the 28% tax.

I had a very unusual upbringing that in part comes under what is being discussed. My Fathers family are very well off but my mother raised me in a council flat (grandparents money not fathers so not entitled to anything in the divorce). They offered to pay school fees but my mother was very worried about how I would cope living in a council flat not having two pennies to rub together and trying to fit into the school my grandparents had chosen (their money, their choice). So I went to the local comp and lived with my mum, very happily. I then holidayed at the big house with land as far as the eye can see and my own rooms, flew first etc whenever I was with Father's side of the family.

I knew we had money, and that I will inherit some of it one day, but it was never really on my radar! And wealthy is a very general term...I remember the day I found out how wealthy when I heard my grandfather transferring money to buy a number of properties and I nearly fainted, it was just such an abstract thought when you are in your teens.

When it comes to my children I will raise them as I have been, with regards to money. I was given an allowance at uni, carefully worked out to cover all basics with just enough left over, if you want more...earn it! When I ran up rather large credit cards debts they paid them off to save me the interest but ensured I paid every single penny back! I have a very good working knowledge of the family business but have an entirely different career from which I am doing very well and I take absolutely no money from them not that they would given it to me. I am quite proud that I am not reliant on their money and we have a much better relationship than some of my family members do (my grandparents say they got it wrong the first time round so exercised a lot more caution with their grandchildren).

OMG? I would send my DD private. Although we pay not for a school that gets good results. We pay for a school that will get good results for DD. Having a lot of money is no use if you do not have the intellectual capacity to use it wisely. To maintain and increase pot of cash you still need an educated mind. Even Richard Branson came from private schooling.

Just thinking about your kids Word...a bit of capital early in life can be really helpful if a young person has an idea or a goal. I am thinking of people who have started their own businesses, or gotten ahead of the asset price inflation curve by buying a house early. These things usually take a bit of money to get started. Alternatively, there are some very laudable careers that are nearly impossible now for young people who don't have an additional income stream.

Obviously pampering and sheltering them too much is just asking for trouble, but it doesn't have to be all bad.

spring I know you're right in my heart, and that my concerns are probably groundless.

Certainly, my DC have given me no cause for concern. They work very hard at school, do a stint in a charity shop every Saturday afternoon, hardly ask for anything at all. My Mum gave them both a fiver on Saturday and they were over the moon .

DH will over rule me about fully funding university. And since the US is being considered too...

Thereafter we will play it by ear. Certainly if either child wanted money for a business or whatever, then yes, that might be something worth helping them with. Somewhere to live perhaps.

The only thing I'd have changed would be to live at the other end of the catchment of the school DCs attended.

When I win the premium bonds I will move there keeps watching that house each time it comes on the market

And it would have been nice to still own the BTL we had but times were different.

What a fascinating existence, Jammie. You sound incredibly grounded and have clearly done very well for yourself. That's the bit I wonder about, I suppose . . . if children/young adults are aware of the massive cushion, how many don't push themselves as much as they would otherwise do?

And Word I did smile at your DC being so thrilled about the fiver . . . bet they're lovely kids.

Clearly many DC who have a massive cushion also work extremely hard and do very well. I don't think the "cushion" is at all important, personally. What matters are the messages parents send, from day 1, about DC applying themselves and needing to work to prove themselves. And, of course, proper parental support and guidance to do well.

Children very much respond to the standards parents set them, in whatever domain. The issue for parents is setting clear standards that their DC have the ability and proper environment/support to achieve.

iwonder thank you. I really cannot complain about my two. I've been dealt a lucky hand with them both.

bonsoir I hope you're right. I hope that the clear expectations DH and I have in respect of effort etc over ride other factors.