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Original poster

parents with dc who board.

72 replies

morethanpotatoprints · 09/02/2015 17:51

We are going for an interview with the head tomorrow and can't think what questions to ask.
I know as soon as we get home we will think of something.
I understand all schools are different and this school isn't run of the mill, but the boarding aspect is still the same.

Can you remember what sort of questions you asked or think of anything we might not think to ask that maybe important
Tia for your responses.

OP posts:
nokissymum · 09/02/2015 18:27

Is there something they can eat outside of meal times ? e.g just before bed as supper is around 6pm.

What happens if dc sicken the night?

good luck.

nokissymum · 09/02/2015 18:28

'sick in' (silly spellchecker!)

TeenAndTween · 09/02/2015 18:40

I boarded a million years ago.

are dorms mixed age or year group - why?
how is pastoral care organised
rules on phone / internet use / safety
how do you monitor / prevent bullying

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 09/02/2015 18:48

Wow thank you, some brilliant responses and thanks Thanks
I must admit to not thinking about illness during the night.
I suppose I'd better get list writing.

OP posts:
TeenAndTween · 09/02/2015 18:57

if for a secondary age girl:

  • how do they keep an eye that they are eating meals
  • what measures do they have in place to spot self harm
Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 09/02/2015 18:59

Teen

Ah, yes secondary.
Isn't it awful we have to consider such things.
definitely on the list and thanks.

OP posts:
nokissymum · 09/02/2015 19:09

Is there a system for dc to have some pocket money? who keeps hold of it?

Are they allowed out into town? when? where? who gives permission? what time are they allowed to go out to town and when are they expected back?

What times is the HM contactable and contact times for matron?

Trufflethewuffle · 09/02/2015 21:15

We found a lot of activities were organised the first weekend or so to cover the first few days before proper lessons started. This kept them so busy until the start of school proper.

Perhaps ask about how they handle new starters and getting into the routines, dealing with teething problems etc.

Trufflethewuffle · 09/02/2015 21:18

We also had a meeting for new parents towards the end of the previous term and I met a couple of other mums who arranged meet ups over the summer holidays. Can you ask if you can be put in touch with others perhaps?

It really helped my DD, one of the girls she met that summer is now her best friend.

springalong · 09/02/2015 21:43

thank you for post -DS may be boarding unexpectedly and I have no idea what to ask school

Leeds2 · 09/02/2015 22:18

I would ask, if the school has weekly boarders and your child is a full boarder, how many full boarders there are? Your child could potentially be lonely at the weekends.

If you don't know already, ask whether they get their own room from the outset, or whether they have to share. If the latter, how many do they share with, and when are those arrangements changed? When they are changed, does your DC get the opportunity to choose who to share with?

Is tea/coffee/hot chocolate/squash/bread/butter/toast routinely left in the communal kitchen?

dancingwitch · 09/02/2015 22:24

What is ratio of those who speak English as a first language to those who speak it as a second language in the dorms/boarding house, especially amongst full boarders?

RandomMess · 09/02/2015 22:32

What are the arrangements for room sharing - mine changed rooms every term (2 or 3 to a room) so that everyone had a turn at sharing with each other.

How do they deal with bullying, what is their policy. I was very impressed with DDs was very explicit about excluding others - all that typical female teen type stuff. The school was very focussed on the pupils learning how to cope and get along with EVERYONE despite differences etc.

Sycamoretrees · 09/02/2015 22:39

Who will be looking after him/ her out of school hours, what hours do they work and do they get regular time off. This is particularly important for the nurse. It's not unheard of for some schools to expect their nurse to work 90 hour weeks, which can't be safe! Also what is the turn over of pastoral staff - speaks volumes about a school if they can't keep staff long!

ZeroFunDame · 09/02/2015 22:56

Have you established that the Head is the best person to ask about the "domestic" aspects of boarding? (I'm aware that you say it's not a run of the mill school so it might be different.)

Isn't there a House Master /Mistress that you will also speak to? And is not all the general boarding info contained in the school literature or a boarders' handbook? Which you will obviously know by heart already?

Perhaps better to stick to "school" matters with the Head?

nokissymum · 10/02/2015 10:24

At our school, they provided a list of all the parent contact details (sought consent first) with child's name, so we could easily identify a child and contact their parents for things like birthdays, playdates over the hols, or just general discussion.

We were also invited to new boys dinner just before term started so they could all get to meet each other including the parents and that was nice TOO.

happygardening · 10/02/2015 11:04

Assuming there is more than 1 boarding house can you meet the individual house masters/mistresses and then chose a house? I personally think this is very important. You personally have to like them. Again assuming there's more than 1 house are some say more sporty, more academic, more musical or what ever? Is the matron resident 24/7? I personally think this is also very important. Is there medical cover i.e. a qualified nurse available in the school as a whole 24/7? You should be allowed to look around a boarding house. Frankly I don't care about bathrooms and loos and Im not interested in dorm size versus single rooms, you can have en suit bathrooms and single rooms but have a terrible atmosphere but what you're trying to get is a general feel for the place. How committed is the HM? Does he/she look in charge? He should be otherwise there's anarchy. It's inevitable that some are more committed than others. If you can watch the HM and other house staff with the individual children, both should look relaxed, remember you are in their home, the line between HM and boarder is significantly more blurred and informal than that between teacher and pupil.
Choosing dorm mates is controversial especially in the early years it's inevitable that some children will be very popular and other unpopular I personally think in a well run house the HM should allocate dorms etc. this resolves the issue of someone being so obviously left out.
If you might want to take you DC out of school a day early at the end of term or out on a Sat night for a family thing (obviously only relevant only to full boarders) are you allowed too?

Schoolchauffeur · 10/02/2015 16:55

Agree with everything said by HappyGardening and Leed2. I would also find out how "local" most people are. DS went to what is described as a full boarding school with one leave out weekend each side of half term. The rest of the term students had to be in for compulsory Sunday morning chapel and there were also good social events on Saturday nights. However, of the ten boys in his year in house 8 of them lived less than an hour from school and would get picked up at 12.00 after church and go home not returning until prep time at 7.00pm. We lived two hours from school and had DD in a different school in another direction so we simply couldn't visit him every week so he hated Sundays! Many schools will tell you that Sunday afternoons is "downtime" and it is often the only time of the week when the kids can just "be" but DS found it very lonely. DD on the other hand went to a school with big international presence so virtually no one went home - she would only spare us two hours on a Sunday as she was missing out on some house event or rehearsal etc
Find out what activities are planned and whether they are allowed out of school even for an hour or so at the weekend to visit shops. Dd found just an hour in the nearby town made a huge difference to the feeling you were in a bit of a bubble!

howtodrainyourflagon · 10/02/2015 18:06

What is the policy on mobile phones and internet? Is there an internet curfew? How do they deal with cyber bullying, inappropriate or excessive Internet use or gaming?

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 10/02/2015 18:13

Thank you all very much for your detailed responses, I know HG has helped me before with this so thanks again.

We went today and had all our questions answered, some before we even made it to the HT office. Grin There were parents there with siblings already at the school who filled us in whether we wanted them to or not, it was really good.
It was absolutely brilliant and now we have the waiting game to see if dd is offered a place. They said the end of next week at the latest, so we are all crossing everything.
Thanks again Thanks

OP posts:
RandomFriend · 10/02/2015 18:13

How do they spend the weekend? I agree with Schoolchauffer that this question is especially important if your child is going to be a full boarder and some of the others are weekly boarders or can go out at the weekends or Sundays.

HG has written a very sensible list of things that you would definitely want to know, although most of the answers will probably be provided in a more general description so you won't necessarily have to ask all of those questions.

RandomFriend · 10/02/2015 18:14

crosspost, OP. Hope she gets a place.

happygardening · 10/02/2015 18:43

Good luck keep us informed.

Original poster
morethanpotatoprints · 10/02/2015 19:13

I can say what I wasn't expecting was that dd was considered the candidate, not us on her behalf, but her herself. I know this may sound stupid but having no previous experience of this it was a surprise.
She had the chat with the house master (now I realise it was a bit of an interview) although, the fact no pressure were put on the children was brilliant. She had to go to various places throughout the day and apart from the HT and meeting dd for dinner we were superfluous.
I'm not sure if others found/will find this.

OP posts:
ZeroFunDame · 10/02/2015 19:29

Interesting OP ... When I saw your first post yesterday I was a bit puzzled by the implication that you were to be interviewed by the HT. But I didn't like to ask

What you describe from today sounds fairly standard procedure. (Of course schools want supportive parents - but I've never known a school that goes any further than that in parent filtering.)