Seeing as you and husband claim to be intelligent and 'academic' people, it surprises me that you seem to have an almost Victorian attitude that you can 'mould' your child into being what YOU want, instead letting him enjoy babyhood and early childhood, by experiencing all the playing, learning, games, nature, and physical activities that arise naturally and spontaneously when adults, particularly parents, interact with young children.
I worked twenty-five years in primary schools, as Teaching Assistant and voluntary helper. I tried to enrich the personality and ability of every one of the hundreds of children I worked with during this time - obviously, some more successfully than others.
But the one that gives me most satisfaction, was when I did a term of voluntary work in a Year 1 class. A Down's boy had no speech, was incontinent, and by necessity was on the periphery of the learning experiences of his peers.
He was fascinated by computers, and sat next to other children as they used the computers. His motor skills were inadequate for him to be able to use mouse or keyboard, so he just observed others performing tasks he couldn't manage, but enjoyed seeing their successes.
However, I resolved to improve the situation, and I found a web site for people - children and adults - with limited ability. All that was needed to operate the various games and activities, was to press the at the appropriate moment, and this he COULD manage. Soon he was launching space ships, jumping chasms, and matching shapes and numbers, his immense satisfaction clearly showing on his beaming face.
This progress stimulated his abilities, and when he was provided with a special small mouse, and appropriate keyboard with large buttons, he was then able to continue to make more progress.