Worried my ds will be split from friends when she starts school. What can I do?

[pepsi]

My ds is due to start school in Jan. When she was accepted the school were doing their intakes twice yearly, sept and jan. this would mean that she would start school with her two girlfriends from nursery in janury. during the year the school has changed things and offered parents the chance to start janury started in september if they wanted. out of 42 children 35 started in janury, leave 7 to start in january, 4 boys and 3 girls. On speaking to the school adminstration lady, in a very casual nice way, i got the impression that my ds and her 2 friends may be split up. Another Mum asked too and the school say they have a dileama. It is likely that they will put 2 boys in each class and then the girls will be split between both. None of us want our little girl to be the one by themselves starting their school life in an established class. I know that there will be 2 little boys to but chances are they will be off together and the girl will have to try and fit in somewhere. Ideally we would like the school to place the girls togehter in one class and the boys together in another. school says that it has to be consistent and form the classes how they formed sept intake, ie. boy, girl, boy, girl. Im pretty hacked off because they new the children who were coming when they did the september classes and surely would have thought about the extra 7 starting in Jan. Apparently the headmistress doesnt like to be told what to do and if you request something often does the opposite just to mark her authority. Do we have any rights? I know my ds will survive and it wont be the end of the world, but all three girls are happy little things and have come together at nursery on their own accord, not because we as parents have forced them together. Advice welcomed on how to deal with this.

Ive made a real pigs ear out of this, 35 started in sept, leaving 7 to start in jan.

not to belittle it but I wouldn't worry. dd1 started back in year 2 without her best friend (had gone to another school) and she has been fine.

I really really would not worry and would not say anything.

I know she would be fine in the end, but whats hard is that when she started nursery we as parents told the girls "oh you will start school with.....", they have it in their heads that they will be together. If we had known what we know now we wouldnt have said anything. Its going to be very hard for the one whos on their own watching the other two skip off hand in hand to their new class. Im just cross with the school. When the sept intake started they were given a friendship form to fill in, just puting down a couple of their best friends from whatever nursery or another child they like. Our intake isnt getting the opportunity to do this. Their visit to school is very brief, and hour and a quarter during an afternoon which wont involve a playtime either. I feel that they are being treated as a bit of an afterthough really. the spet intake all had a morning at school.

well perhaps you should talk to the head

but remember in a few weeks time your dd will be fine...so is it worth it?

It will sort itself out but I understand your concern. dd knew noone at all when she started and was remixed after a year but she still plays with the same children in the playground as last year. tbh I'd be more cross that you have been misled and that the class groups haven't been sorted out yet for her to establish other friends on her visit if needs be.

I know, its really difficult. Ive noticed Ive been refering to dd as ds, sorry, just rushing as going out in a bit.

My other concern is that my ds, 61/2 is a special needs child. I see his teacher a fair amount at drop off and pick up times and we do have to put a lot of time and effort into his school life. DD has been such an easy happy child that I just thought everything would be plain sailing and Im annoyed that this situation could potentially cause problems.

I wouldn't worry too much. We ensured that our eldest went to the same school as her nursery friends. What a mistake that was! They were only friends because they were very young and I was friends with the other mums. When they got to about 7 they realised that actually they didn't get on at all, in fact, they couldn't stand each other! All three of them went their own way once in the juniors and continued to have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

My 11 year old has just started secondary with no one from her old school going. It has been great - she has made about 10 new friends, who are gradually being whittled down into a strong foursome. Don't worry, children sort themselves out and I think it is a mistake to try to do this for them.

Good luck with your new primary school experience. It is a lovely time and I am already missing it!

Not that I'm an expert or anything but wouldn't the classes have been sorted out before September?
I thought they would have looked at the intake as a whole and decided classes regardless of starting dates.
Do you know whether one class has more children than the other? If so, this might give you a clue!

My ds started school in August and didn't know anyone. He has settled in well and has made friends Kids adjust to situations better than many adults would.

In agreement with many of the other posters, all this is a MUCH bigger deal to mums than it is to kids. At the end of the day, life IS about 'getting on with it', and, as has already be mentioned, mixing OK or even 'well' with certain children in preschool is absolutely no guarantee of future friendships. I actually believe you can do far more harm to your child's acceptance in school by inadvertently getting yourself labelled a 'cotton-wool' mum by the teaching staff than by just giving it a term and watching how it all levels out. We have to recognise it's OUR problem, not theirs! Look upon it as an opportunity for your child to branch out and explore new friendships whilst the other 2 kids who are still together may well find themselves a bit 'stuck' in their 'friendship', perhaps appearing unapproachable to other kids, a situation which might be entirely to one child, but not the other's, liking!. And of course, the simple fact is that the head teacher IS the Authority.