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Original poster

An update MIL is dragging DS to school tomorrow

11 replies

Hideehi · 12/10/2006 21:28

She sat him down for a talk about what the exact problem is and he couldn't say, just that he doesn't like it.
So she has decided that this is a bigger issue than the school and we cannot let him win or he'll think he can get his own way by throwing a paddy and have no respect for me and Dh in the future so she is taking him back tomorrow.

I cannot be involved at the moment I can't think straight and cannot loose anymore sleep. I feel pyscotic with worry and lack of sleep and hormones.

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 12/10/2006 21:30

Don't have any advice for you but have followed your thread and think you are doing the right thing sending him back. Must be so hard with your newborns too. Hope everything works out for all of you.

soapbox · 12/10/2006 21:31

I think you are being very unfair to your DS. What business is it of MILs?

As much as I completely understand that you are knackered (completely and utterly, I would imagine) you do need to do what is right for your DS - and switching him into and outof schools really is being very unkind indeed to him

Original poster
Hideehi · 12/10/2006 21:34

Soapbox she is doing what i should be doing but can't, i can't physically put him in the car and take him in so she's going to if i hadn't had a section i would be doing it.

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soapbox · 12/10/2006 21:36

So you've decided to put him back to the school you have only just taken him out of?

So have you changed your mind then?

It all just sounds so confused to me - god knows what it's like if you are a child!

Original poster
Hideehi · 12/10/2006 21:40

You're right it is confusing and a complete fuck up but then I said that in the first post I know i've stuffed up and the truth is he's been worse since allowing him to go back not better so clearly we're on a slippery slope.

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ProfessorGrammaticus · 12/10/2006 21:44

He needs to go back doesn't he, though.

I didn't post earlier because you had taken him out of that school (hastily, as you admitted you knew). I didn't want to disagree with what you had done. But even if it is right to move him back to the private school, it needs to be done in a considered way, not on the spur of the moment because you (very very understandably) are knackered , hormonal etc. I don't want to criticise what you did, Lord knows we all make mistakes. You said you thought it was a mistake in your heading. I think you were right - not necessarily what you did, just how you did it.

Whatever you do it needs to be a process that your DS can comprehend, not a snap decsio. Take care, get as much sleep as you can and take it steady - I feel for you.

batters · 12/10/2006 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 12/10/2006 23:27

Ok you made a mistake you are now trying to put it right in whichever way possible . You stuffed up ,we all do it . The situation is now going to be back on track . You have just had babies and they are hard work so no wonder you arnt thinking strait . MIL is trying to do the right thing and thats ok as long as she dosnt think this action over the school gives her a right to take over in other situations . Give it a couple of days to settle back down and have a long (or short come to think about it ) chat with your son about why things have turned out the way they have . You cant change the past you can only move forwards .

batters · 13/10/2006 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 13/10/2006 12:08

wow that sounds a really turbulent week for all concerned. Is MIL his grandmother (ie could be acting for his biological father ?). You need to be a bit careful about being seen as good cop, bad cop over this or he, and perhaps the others, may start to play you off against each other in the future.

Whatever you do in the short term, it may be beneficial to tell him that you may review at half term / the end of term but that you expect him to cooperate with you and try to make the best of things in the meantime. No false promises but just that you will try to listen to his concerns and perhaps you'll have had mroe time to looks into what is actually going on, in both schools scenarios, before you make a final decision.

Original poster
Hideehi · 13/10/2006 13:50

Not too bad actually, he didn't go in but he went to the school and said hi to the teachers and his friends/class mates. He's promised no nonsense on Monday he'll go without a fuss and I will pick him up. Fingers crossed it'll be that simple and we can put this behind us.
Not sure what to do about the other school and their bill ?
They've sent me a pro rota one so shall I divide it by 10 and pay that ?

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