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Original poster

See the headteacher or write a letter?

18 replies

cornishpasty · 06/10/2006 22:39

Hi all, advice needed please. My ds (just 9) was running for the school in a cross country competition today at a local secondary school. Note i received home about it said they would be walking there at half past three after school and would need to be picked up at 5 o'clock. I arrived there at about 4.40 and had to search for my son for some time before finding him standing all on his own in one of the fields with no-one he knew around. As i approached he started to cry and told me he was upset as he had slipped when racing and banged his head. I asked where the teacher was and he didn't know - he hadn't been able to find him (or teaching assistant that was there as well) since he'd finished his race!
So he had run his race banged his head and not been able to tell anyone - he's not the sort to go up to anyone he doesn't know. I headed back to the car with him and couldn't see teacher anywhere so we left. So they wouldn't have known who he left with - he could have been taken off by anyone!
He is still upset by being left on his own and said he was very sad and was desperate for me to arrive - poor thing. I now feel very guilty for not being there earlier but i assumed that he would be supervised until i arrived.
So should i make an appointment to discuss this with the headteacher or put all of my concerns in a letter? I know if i have to speak to the headteacher about it i will be a complete wuss and cry. Or am i over reacting and should leave it? Thanks for reading if you've got this far.

OP posts:
Gobbledispook · 06/10/2006 22:40

I'd make an appt to discuss it.

I wouldn't be happy about that either.

Beauregard · 06/10/2006 22:42

Your poor ds
That sounds terrible,i would make an appointment with the head and let rip.

Gillian76 · 06/10/2006 22:44

Letter first, if you think you'll cry and not get your point across. Ask for an apointment to discuss the matter too.

Poor DS

Jaffacake1 · 06/10/2006 22:47

yep, letter first then the head should ask to meet you. If you dont get it all down point by point it could happen to someone else with worse consequences..

MrsSpoon · 06/10/2006 22:47

Definately needs discussing, although I would probably go for letter first approach too.

WigWamBam · 06/10/2006 22:47

If you think you'll cry and not get your point across then make an appointment to see the head but write everything down. You can give the note to the head to read, so that even if you do become upset, the head has all of the relevant points to hand. But at least you will be there to get the head's reaction, and to ask that something is done about this. Letters have a habit of getting lost, mislaid, or not reaching the right person.

Jaffacake1 · 06/10/2006 22:50

yep wigwam I agree he/she cant back out if the mum is there with it in writing.

hatwoman · 06/10/2006 22:51

how awful. I think I agree with Gillian. put the facts in writing - and ask for a meeting to discuss. this way you can take your time to set the facts out exactly right, you don;t have to worry about missing things out, you can say in the letter what it is you wish to discuss - your concern that there may have been miscommunication about timings, your concern that he was left alone, what the school propose to do to ensure this doesn't happen again. You have put your serious concerns formally in wirting and can then, hopefully, have a productive meeting. If you ask for a meeting initially, all that will probably happen is the head will be caught on the hoof, will potentially not get the facts straight and will only say she/he will discuss what happened with teh teacher and get back to you. so I think letter first is best

MortuaryAnyone · 06/10/2006 22:52

Definately needs to be spoken about. What an unprofessional and stupid thing to do. Your poor, porr ds

hatwoman · 06/10/2006 22:53

address it to the head teacher, mark it urgent and ask for a response by ? the end of the week/ 2 days? not sure what's reasonable - but give him/her a deadline

Sunnysideup · 06/10/2006 22:53

yes, very definitely make an appointment and don't be easily placated! The school very obviously failed in their role of 'loco parentis' - that's a statutory responsibility ad the head MUST check this out for you and give you some good answers, and an apology I think!

Your poor ds, I really feel for him and am sending him a hug over the air-waves

Go for it, and don't let them get away with this!

Original poster
cornishpasty · 06/10/2006 22:55

Thanks for your replies. I'm sitting here crying now just thinking about it - he looked so alone standing there on his own and his face just crumpled when he saw me.
I'm glad you think a letter first would be ok as i'm no good at having to do this sort of thing face to face. I can't do confrontation on any level.
I'm just so disappointed with the school as up to now we've had no problems at all.

OP posts:
nearlythree · 06/10/2006 23:05

If you don't get any joy you could go to the loacl press, they would cover a story like this and give you and your ds anonymity.

nanabean · 06/10/2006 23:13

Well if the school cross country PE teacher started the race and knew he was running? I would expect them to know he should finish so they could "register him out" ? What if there was an accident! (apparently there was) what if he lay injured?

I certainly would want a very good explanation! see PE teacher, if you get no joy go to headteacer.

I think this organisation was sloppy to say the least I'm not suprised your upset but try not to transfer this to little one? He obviously has competetive spirit and that should be praised. Not all teams would treat him like this

loopybear · 07/10/2006 21:45

As a teacher (and a Mum) I'm horrifed this happened. We are all know we have to be extra vigilent went taking children off site and that you ensure you know where children are at all times. What horrifies me more is that you weren't contacted at the end of the competition when they couldn't find your DS and hadn't seen you take him. Go in on Monday and demand to see your HT that day (write a letter as well to hand to HT) if HT is out ask to see deputy and leave letter for HT

loopybear · 07/10/2006 21:46

As a teacher (and a Mum) I'm horrifed this happened. We are all know we have to be extra vigilent went taking children off site and that you ensure you know where children are at all times. What horrifies me more is that you weren't contacted at the end of the competition when they couldn't find your DS and hadn't seen you take him. Go in on Monday and demand to see your HT that day (write a letter as well to hand to HT) if HT is out ask to see deputy and leave letter for HT

clerkKent · 09/10/2006 12:53

Think about what you want from the school. They have clearly made a mistake, and apparently are unaware of it so far. They have failed in their duty of care to your son. So do you want them to apologise to you, to your son, to change their procedures, or what? If you think about the end result you want, it will make it easier to write the latter and to see the head. It need not be confrontational.

ks · 09/10/2006 13:01

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