teacher calling child silly

[vini]

hi, my child is in nursery and he is a typical 3.5 yr old boy, from the past few days he is coming home with a sad face, he is very cranky and when probed him what was troubling him he said he is a silly boy, and his teacher calls him silly all the time, is it alright to call silly , i dont understand what should i do.any suggestion from teachers or mother who go through this problem

your Ds is clealry upset by being called Silly. it doesn't matter whether generally its ok or not, its not ok for him.

you should speak to the teacher and explain to her that although you realise its probably not meant as a derogatory remark your Ds is finding it upsetting and could she please try using a different word in future.

im sure she will not have noticede justhow often she uses it.

It depends how it is said, tbh.

I teach secondarys (so I realise the kids I teach are older and more 'robust' ) but I tell kids not to be 'silly', 'daft' 'drongos' 'muppets' and 'walleys'
But I do it with a smile and a kind voice! So they know that it isn't meant in a hurtful way.

I also know that a teacher 'always' doing something, as in 'You are always picking on me Miss' is seldom based in reality, it is the child's perception.

I would ask him what has been happening, you may get to the root of a more serious issue.

Think it's probably a fall-out from the fact that I don't think it's PC to call anyone 'stupid' any more (fair enough). I think silly is OK if it refers to behaviour i.e. you're a silly boy because you were foolinf about and knocked all the water over...

I have distinct memories of a high school french teacher calling anyone who got a Q wrong 'el thicko' We all just laughed....

or even' 'Don't be silly, dear' to gently correct a child's behaviour.

very different from someone saying 'You are a very silly little boy'

I don't think there's anything wrong with the occasional use of the word silly in the right context (as martianbishop illustrates). BUT if your son is being genuinely upset by it then it's clearly an issue for him and worth mentioning to the teacher.

hi, thank you , yes i will speak with the teacher tommorrow, i am sure she did not mean it, i have spoken to my son and he does not want to go to school, its better to speak with the teacher and sort it out will keep posted thank you.

just a little by btw here -yesterday ds came home saying teacher x (well known for being fierce) had called his friend a freak. Friend very upset, hadn't eaten his lunch etc etc. Ds was all wide-eyed and shocked, friend's parents going in to school to complain etc.

Today it turns out that teacher x had actually commented to friend on his book review 'I'm glad to hear that you're a science fiction freak like me.'

OK, so perhaps it wasn't the most tactful of comments but she meant it well and it just goes to show that these comments can sound so appalling taken out of context when they were well intended.

As a teacher, I always took care to refer to the behaviour rather than the child. So, that is a silly thing to do rather than you are silly for doing it. Some might say that that is a stupidly pc thing to do but it soon becomes second nature. Children take things in in all sorts of unexpected ways. I believe that it is important that they feel that you like/approve of them but disapprove of the behaviour not them. The language you use is therefore very important. If you're worried about confronting the teacher you could explain what he's been saying and tackle it as if you're enquiring about his behaviour at nursery. If she's any sense she'll think twice in future about her language but if you're not getting that vibe from her just finish by suggesting that she try to comment on his behaviour rather than him personally in future.
I'm sure you'll find your own way though.

Totally agree with Berrie, espcially for a 3yo. Its inportant to give children confidence at this age, not to knock it out of them.

I would ask the nursery about why he is being called silly. Is it because he behaviour isn't good or is it because he's full of life and laughs a lot/makes others giggle etc. The same word could be used in both situations and mean different things/be said in different tones.

hi ,i spoke to the teacher and she was really understanding, and she made him understand that at times his having a laugh with his friends with all kind of noises {monkey sounds}can be very funny and silly at times, so he was happy, and i am happy too gee thanks for helping me out i was really scared to speak to the teacher but finally it went well.

[eyerolling]

Glad it's all ok!