Not sure what the title should be for this one.....

[CovenOVeneer]

DD (4.5) came home from school today with a letter. It was to tell parents about the fact that a man has been loitering outside the school trying to talk to the pupils and giving a descritpion of him and that the police are involved - cue panic from me. It also transpires that the pupils were spoken to by their individual class teachers about the situation.

I don't know exactly what they were told but dd was in tears this evening saying thatshe was told that if she isn't good and does what she is told by me when out of the house the bad man will get her and hurt her.

Apart from the fact that I am a new "school mum" of less than 3 weeks and thus just getting used to relinquishing some responsibility of my child , therefore being rather unsettled (to say the least) by this news. Do you think that the teacher has put the fear of god into the children and should I be angry at how she has managed the situation?

i would be angry if she has been told the things to make her react like that, are there no other mums you could speak to see to find out what their little ones are saying or just go straight to the teacher to receive an explanation, ithink obviously the children need to know but putting that amount of fear into them is helpful at all

I am planning to speak to a couple of the mothers I have already befriended in the morning, tosee what their take on it is. I am all for keeping them safe and aware of danger, but dd is now terrified.

Is it possible that some of your DDs fear has come from something the older pupils have said and not just the teacher? Were any of her classmates obviously upset?

My DD1 also started this term and was told by year 5 or 6 children that she had to stay at school all night. (She told them they were stupid, btw).

I think the teachers might have contacted parents before speaking to pupils, but the staff may have felt that they needed to act quickly. I sincerely hope that the teachers didn't say what DD has reported - it's far too alarming for reception age.

For your own peace of mind, I would ask the school what their policies are at drop off/picking up time and how the playground is staffed etc.

I cannot believe that a teacher would say this to little ones . Honestly they are supposed to be responsible adults can you really see this happening . I do believe in being cautious even paranoid about the strange man but maybe your daughter is very bright and has gone beyond what the teacher did say in her mind . If I am wrong then I am sorry for your upset and your little girl being terrified.

ATM the reception class don't have contact with the older children (seperate playground and later lunch) so it can't be from them. I don't want to be branded as a neurotic mother this early on in the day but I am uneasy about this situation.

i would be to but you dont want it to jeopadise how she feels about school seen as shes only just started what are the police doing about it

I agree with wakeupandsmellthecoffee that it is highly unlikely a teacher would have said the man would get her if she wasn't good. However, the teacher may quite reasonably have told the children to stay with their parents, follow their instructions and not run off at home time, and your daughter may have misinterpreted that advice.

You are not neurotic just scared . Speak to them tomorrow and try and stay calm .

We had a very similar letter when dd was in nursery. A man had followed and made "inappropriate suggestions" to a senior school girl.

The younger children were not told anything, but I gather all the senior school children were.

I very muc doubt that the teacher put it quite like that, sureley it is older children with more understanding, though I can beleive it was emphasised to stay with a parent etc at all times.

Same thing happened at my kids' school. The school handled it sensibly but - understandably - the kids whipped themselves up into a frenzy and created a bogeyman figure to scare each other with. I'm not at all sure how much substance there was to this man's existence but school obviously felt they should act.

I'd check it out calmly first with the school/teacher and then decide whether you think it was handled properly.