Parents evening etiquette: The handshake

[woddayaknow]

Whenever we go to the first parents' evening of a new school year, I'm thrown by the fact that DH, who isn't at school very often, shakes hands with the (usually female) teacher and introduces himself by name. After a brief hot flush of indecision, instinct usually leads me to do the same, because it would seem rude not to - though I'm never sure of the etiquette of women shaking hands with each other, and I've usually spoken to the teacher a couple of times in the playground previously anyway.

Is it just me that worries about this sort of thing? What do other parents do?

Good grief. I met Princess Anne once and it seems my cultural conditioning has gone so deep that I did the right thing with my gloves without even realising- I took mine off before the hand shaking and she put hers on. She was shaking hands with an entire room full of people so it wasn't quite as bad as that sounds.

Dc have been at both state and independent schools. At the state school the DC were expected to come to their own parents' evenings with us. The teachers shook everyone's hands. I assumed this was to help everyone understand it was different to normal school.

I shake hands - but I work in a very corporate environment and that is the absolute norm. I can understand that for those that don't regularly shake hands it can feel awkward. My DC have to shake hands with their teacher on leaving the classroom each day, which I think is great because it normalises good manners.

Incidentally I would consider it quite rude if the person whom I had approached did not stand up - and the accompanying hand shake would feel awkward.

I like a hand shake. As parent and teacher. SO MANY WEAK ONES

Lol at kids shaking hands with the teacher. What a chore

And triple vomit of calling a private school an indie

Noelle might be a chore but I can guarantee it will remove this ridiculous "I'm a woman can I shake hands" angst which seems to be so prevalent at the moment.

I've never seen that

Noelle I also laughed when I saw the children shaking hands with the teacher every day at first. But it as they grow up it seems to help when they meet adults for the first time, and it give the children confidence in an adult world.

One of the teachers at my DC's state primary used to shake hands goodbye with all of the children at home-time. They liked it and I agree that it got them used to shaking hands.

I only shake hands with the teacher on Parents Evenings if they put their hand out towards me - I never initiate it. But I don't at all feel that it makes them "in control" of the meeting. Maybe that is because I am a teacher too!

Yes. I agree. At ours it varies. Sometimes you're busy shuffling paper so it just doesn't happen too. Some parents would find that intimidating. At my sons very up itself school they don't let the kids go.

OP - I experience the same thing when DH and I attend parents' evening. I'm always a bit taken aback that he shakes the teacher's hand and offers his name, and then I awkwardly feel obliged to shake her hand too. For me a hand shake is something I only do when I am at work. But DH is a teacher himself, so he's not being all alpha male dominant, he's acknowledging the teacher as a fellow professional.

Reading others people's responses inspires me to be more forthright with handshakes out of my workplace in future!