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Original poster

We have a school place offer for sept 2015!

51 replies

Portlypenguin · 03/10/2014 11:26

I am feeling a proud mummy :)

My just 3yr old has secured himself a place at our first choice school to start in reception in sept 2015. That means we won't either end up being bussed to a school miles away or sent to the local overcrowded-struggling school in the great local state lottery. These seem to be the options for the kids in the streets around us at present due to an uber local baby boom. Financially Poor but hopefully a good education and happy boy.

I was really worried because we had assessments at 3 schools but he missed the first one because he had D&V (luckily was our back-up anyway) so that only left 2. DS is tiny for his age (0.4th centile) and only 3.1 and when we dropped him off for the assessment he looked very young compared to the other boys. The teacher reported he came and asked for a step because the tiny-toilets were still too high up for him!!!! (Actually I was surprised he even made it that far given the usual no. of accidents...)

Sorry, pointless post really but I am pleased he will be able to go to a good school that isn't too far away. They will also be able to cope with his frustrating food allergies (although I still hope for the day he is back on dairy...) and inhaler routine (groan).

Hoping other 3+/4+/whatever+ assessments go well for people.

xx

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 03/10/2014 22:20

Well good for you OP.

I'm glad that there is a school who is willing to commit to taking your money so well in advance. It must be a big help for your budgeting.

Seriously though.... What do they assess 3 years old on?

Heels99 · 04/10/2014 00:07

I do know someone whose child "passed the assessment"for reception but was asked to leave after first term as he was average and they only kept the brightest on. They had another child already go the school and it came as a shock.
Op doesn't say whether she has the funds to cover 14+ years of fees given the jump to the fee levels of secondary. I would alreadyso be worried about saving for uni if I was financially poor as a result of school fees

happygardening · 04/10/2014 08:47

OP ignore the horrible bitchy unpleasant comments made by many. Well done your DS I hope he's happy and thrives, I'm sure you're very relieved to have a place for 2015.

Hulababy · 04/10/2014 08:57

Ignore op; there appears to be a nick backlash on independent education in MN at the moment. Have already hidden 2 or 3 threads in past couple of days.

For those who are actually interested rather than here to pour scorn ...

It's not sit down assessment with complicated tasks.

It's a fun session of playing puzzles and games, drawing and talking ime.
And it's just to get a feel for the child to get a good mix in the classroom. And to identify any needs that may occur so they can ensure they have the correct staffing etc available at start up.

I've not known any child 'thrown out' or asked to leave primary for being not clever enough or related reasons.

Now maybe this is different down south in more competitive areas and there are all these mean evil schools with vicious heads, who knows?!

Op, it is nice that your child is in the school you want them to go to.

And no doubt come next Easter time there will be lots of MNettters talking primary again - when the state school applications come out. And I would be just as pleased for those getting the school they've chosen too.

Dd was 3 too btw; she was 4 in the Easter and started school at 4y5m.
Many children are 3 when applications are made anyway and many are still 3 when the school decisions come out for state primaries, so not sure why people are so het up on the age!

Hulababy · 04/10/2014 08:59

No one ever asked us for our salary or bank details. And we only saw the HT for a guided tour and a chat during dd's session. Was all very friendly and it was certainly a good decision for us.

The inverse snobbery on MN is unbelievable at times.

Hulababy · 04/10/2014 09:03

BrianButterfield - why would a HT or a primary school NOT be able to meet prospective parents ?

I work in a state infants with a three form intake. Prospective parents are always welcome and the HT is always willing to meet them and give them a tour. She considers it an important part of her job.

I looked round several schools - state and independent - and met the HT at every school.

BrandyAlexander · 04/10/2014 09:10

Very pleased for you OP. I remember the sheer relief of getting our first choice too. Have a great weekend.Smile

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 04/10/2014 09:13

Great news. Very happy for you and your DS. Smile

nicename · 04/10/2014 09:26

Its getting on the list - sory to burst your bubble. Assment at that age is really more of 'will this child behave the way we want or will we have to bother our arses with additiona help/support'.

The 2 very snotty ones near us advise you to put the name down at birth and hope for an early in the month delivery date (I am not kidding).

The kids at those schools behaviour is rather hmmm 'challenging' shall we say? Not sure if the schools teach them to be rude and entitled or if its just the type of families who attend. I wouldn't touch either with a bargepole. I thought the kids manners were appauling when we were looking for schools.

nicename · 04/10/2014 09:42

That sounded a bit cowbaggish... Sorry about that (went to bed with the Alan Henning news and couldn't sleep a wink).

I'm in central london, so its a whole different kettle of fish from 'real' people.

I see first hand the snobbery and sharp ebows of the mommies and hear them plotting their kids lives and bullying their teachers/staff. I rub along with the uber wealthy uber entitled elite and it does get on your tits after a while. But not all the schools are like that, and not all parents are like that.

I'm pleased for you OP and don't let people make you feel bad for making your choices.

happygardening · 04/10/2014 09:45

nicename we used to live in area where state ed was simply dire (it's now improved I accept that) and most pre preps were very over subscribed 5-6 applicants for every place. Parent registered their DC's with three or four pre preps, all did some kind of assessment which varied enormously in their requirements and hoped that one would offer them a place.

Original poster
Portlypenguin · 04/10/2014 12:58

Well i'm not going to enter into an argument. Each family does need to decide what is best for them in each part of life and others should respect that. It was a nasty comment ( and i knew it) but not worse than those about my original post. I don't beleiveit will be best for my childs education to go to a struggling school where they send him home daily for non- infectious malabsorption related diarrhoea and he is hardly there. Or on the bus for 45mins each way, and therefore miles from friends as well as travelling. Others might disagree but that is fine.

I have recieved multiple nice PMs from mums who have been in similar situations but obviously too scared to post due to others nasty replies.

All schools have a selection system, just on different grounds. tshirtesuntan totally agree, we got through that stage before they invited DS to the assessment morning.

Yes, i think a headteacher should make an effort to see prospective parents. They did at all the state schools my family went to. I only mean 5-10mins.

I will continue my way of using mumsnet, which is to try and work out what is important to the poster and comment appropriately. My rude comment this time was a one off that others could be so unfeeling about different peoples needs.

DS was 3 in aug and will be starting reception sept 2015.

OP posts:
Dad164 · 04/10/2014 14:43

Congratulations. Here's to a happy child at school for many years.

(glad you're ignoring the unpleasant comments here, but it is an open forum in which opinions, politics and envy seem to thrive!)

Original poster
Portlypenguin · 04/10/2014 18:57

Don't worry, we have the funds for the fees for all the years! I had thought of that. A second at independent would push us but we could do it if seemed worth it. Grtting a second is a whole other story...

Thanks for the more positive comments. Balanced responses = good.

It does help to be on the first 40 on the list, locally that seems to be how many kids they 'assess' and pick from. Some of my aquaintances/ colleagues haven't had offers despite their children seemingly being more advanced ( ie my ds can't read, write or anything like that) so they obviously have some criteria, whatever they might be.

I did think about moving locally ( hard to move further for next 3 yrs due to work) to open up more state options, but we would need an extra £150,000 for an equivalent house in those areas, so decided not too.

Good luck to everyone sorting out things for next year.

OP posts:
BadgerB · 05/10/2014 05:51

BrianButterfield - Yes, I would certainly expect any Head, state or private, to meet prospective parents, however briefly. I've only met one who wouldn't in a good number of dealings with both sorts of schools. Talking primary here, of course, wouldn't expect it at secondary - and we don't live in the dreaded London & SE.

ArsenicFaceCream · 05/10/2014 06:49

You dropped off a just turned three year old!? For an entrance assessment? With strangers? In an alien environment?

And then you are bitchy about other people's parenting?

Wow.

Hulababy · 05/10/2014 14:29

ArsenicFaceCream

We did this, but stayed in the building.

But then DD went to nursery from being tiny. I needed to work. So at 5 months old I left her for her very first taster sessions. First time I stayed in the building, next time I left the building, building up each time.

When I moved work I moved her nursery - so again, similar process aged 2y.

Those first sessions, yes - they are strangers.

But are taster sessions bad parenting?

ArsenicFaceCream · 05/10/2014 15:02

We did this, but stayed in the building.

Well that sounds more usual/caring/normal.

I can't really comment on the rest of it. Isn't it said that small babies don't experience separation anxiety? I have no idea, sorry.

TheStarsLookDown · 05/10/2014 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 05/10/2014 15:15

But every school does drop off tasters ime - and most children are only 4 when this happens.

And drop off means anything from being in the building, the grounds or staying local. And almost always leaving. A contact number. It's not usually for long. Doesn't matter where as you're still not with them.

And dd was 2 the second time for nursery. She was still fine.

TheStarsLookDown · 05/10/2014 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJamin · 05/10/2014 15:59

This is one of those posts that stayed with me after I read it. Can you imagine someone coming onto mumsnet saying "I just received an immediate consultation after seeing my GP! I couldn't wait any longer and I am so relieved! Wouldn't want to wait around for a postcode lottery to see when I would be seen by the NHS!" It's so very very distasteful. Most people, us included, do not see paid-for education as a choice they can make for their children.

Also, I think it is so very sad that children go to a school from 4 with a ruling that those without learning difficulties cannot attend. Where else do we learn understanding, patience and empathy if we do not learn alongside children of different abilities from the outset? No wonder those from Eton and the likes have no idea how to relate to those who have struggled in life either educationally or materially, as they didn't even meet them even when they were 4.

ArsenicFaceCream · 05/10/2014 16:04

And then told everyone else that the reason that they were sticking with the NHS because they didn't care sufficiently about their children MrsJamin Hmm

Calling herself 'bitchy' doesn't begin to cover it.

Scarletbanner · 05/10/2014 16:20

Congratulations, OP. Are you always so smug?

nlondondad · 05/10/2014 18:24

Interesting thread:

My take on what is going on.

You have an anxious mother, with a much loved little son, who has one of those nasty, potentially life restricting things (maladsorbtion, so undersize for age - so greater bullying risk -, requires an inhaler regime of more than usual complexity). She has found a school for the little chap, for which she has to pay but she has the money for that, and in return she has an environment which she reckons is up to caring for him.

Well its good news: she is delighted and relieved and she shares that with us. And I am truly happy for her, and there is so much misery in the world, I am happy to hear good news, and to hope that he thrives. She is unfortunate to have a child with this condition BUT she is fortunate to have the financial means to smooth his way.

Unfortunately her good fortune strikes a nerve, for various reasons some people make snarky remarks (others do not).

Then the OP spoils it all, by saying that parents who use the state system for their children do so because they do not care for their children. At that point she has deeply insulted a very large proportion, probably the majority of parents on Mumsnet.

Conclusion: best to ignore the begrudgers, and certainly a really bad idea to be indiscriminately insulting in response!