keeping confidence high in dyslexic son.

[sct]

hi everyone, new here so be gentle!
my 8yo ds is in an independant primary, he was diagnosed with 'mild' dyslexia last year. his difficulties relate specifically to spelling. he was found to have a very high (130) IQ. last week he was tested and found that his reading age was 12-13 but his spelling age was 7. This is obviously not a huge problem, but the spelling troubles are meaning that he is starting to fall behind in most subjects.he has an hour per week of out of class help at school. It also seems to take him a long time to grasp new concepts - though once he gets them, hes fine. He is currently quite depressed and finding school awful. Yesterday, he discovered that hes not been picked for the rugby team which he is gutted about,his confidence is so easily knocked, he spent last night in tears saying hes rubbish at everything. We have tried hard to find him some activities outside school that boost his confidence, but hes so knackered after school - i think dyslexic children seem to expend twice as much energy on there work - plus there is homework - that he doesnt really have time. We sent him to a private school as the state
school he was at did nothing with him, huge classes etc, but i wonder now if the pressure of the high attainment expected in the independant sector is too much. I am loath to move him again though. sorry this so long, could go on, anyone any comments? x

Sorry your ds feels like this, even at state school it is possible to feel like this and I think moving schools could be a negative thing and certainly has been for my ds. My ds is similar in that he has intelligence but also difficulties that mean he is behind in other ways and he often feels bad as he cannot play football well. I can't think of anything constructive but I sympathise and don't like to leave a post like yours unanswered

Hi sct
My ds is dyslexic and at state primary school, though he did move school just before summer (he's 9). What kind of support does he get in the hour at school? I think a key is finding a sport your son is good at. My son plays football and loves it but I can see that he'll never be Wayne Rooney (thank goodness). He is a keen all rounder but took to skiing straight away, skating also. He's pretty good at hockey too. It's quite true that it requires more effort for a dyslexic child to get through the school day. I know that ds's homework can take ages, and he's very keen to try his best. I imagine at an independent school your ds gets even more. There's a book by Christine Orsler (I think - will check later) about having a dyslexic child. Some interesting information. How's his writing speed? That's my main concern at the moment with ds.

hi all
his writing speed is very slow so his homework takes ages, at least an hour and a half each night sometimes much more. Ive just this minute had a chat with his teacher, she telephoned me at my request and is very supportive, which is good. The hour he gets at school is basic phonics work and Im not sure how much it helps to be honest as for one thing he misses an hour of class to do this and often misses a topic or something. I really agree about trying to find a sport hes good at, we are still looking though! Boys seem to get a lot of their self esteem through sport and hes basically a bit unco-ordinated.So many clubs for them seem to revolve around this. Skiing would be fab (I love it) but school fees mean we are under canvas for our hols for the forseeable future! I think something with lots of certificates and rewards would be good. Any more suggestions? ill check out that book - thanks both for replies. I was feeling really despondant this am as i sent him off to school in tears (him not me) but his teacher says hes been fine and chatty all day. I think often we worry more at this age than they do - things seem to change one min to the next.

hi sct, my 8 yo ds is dyslexic also (and at independent school), and I so agree with you about keeping their confidence up. Can he have differentiated/less homework so he doesn't have to spend quite so long doing it. My dyslexic ds uses toe by toe, but the same authors also make something called the word wasp (google for it) which our school uses for boys like yours who can read well, but their spelling is not so great. We used it with my oldest, and results have been really good (he's now 12). Agree with others, he needs a sport that he can feel he's good at - swimming do lots of certificates, or join a sunday rugby club if he likes rugby - he'll feel good about being part of a team and hopefully winning matches, and it might improve his rugby enough that he gets picked at school. they are generally fairly inexpensive - we pay £30/child/year, with 3rd child free. (((hugs))) for him and you.

thats really interesting, loshad, thanks. Ive been very pro-active and enrolled him in a local rugby club, coaching starting this sunday! and have ordered word-wasp. do you ever feel sending your son privately actually gives you less power if they have difficulties as the school is so competitive? i do. the entrance exam to the senior school looms large already.
this is a great supportive site. glad i dropped in!

sct, I certainly think there is always a worry that they will not progress them to senior school, but the more I know about our school, and look (or try to look) objectively at my 8yo I know he can cope with the work when he gets there with his reading. I've tried to keep cool about it anyway on the grounds that school have alot of experience, and those boys who don't progress through would almost certainly struggle throughout senior school. your boy has a great reading age, he only needs to crack his spelling and it sounds like he'll be flying. Hope he enjoys rugby this sunday