should I say something to ds's housemaster?

[cungryhatterpillar]

I gave DS a modest amount of pocket money (£5) at the start of term, meant to last all term as there are limited opportunities for spending (e.g. 20p for a cake sale type thing).

But the children were taken on a trip this week and DS didn't come back with any of his pocket money as he'd spent £1.50 himself and lent other boys £3.50. I've told DS it's a useful life lesson to spend all your money in week 1 and he's not getting any more until next term, but I wonder whether I should say something to the housemaster, as one of the boys DS lent money to is two years older.

I know it's all trivial amounts, but DS is very generous and also very naive, and it's all of his pocket money. It could lead to falling out between the boys if DS isn't eventually repaid (although I've told him that the boys may well forget) but what bothers me most is the idea of the reverse situation, that DS could borrow money from other boys with no adult knowing, and not repay them (he's got no means to now) as I think borrowing without repaying isn't acceptable.

Yes, tell the housemaster. I wouldn't encourage all this borrowing and lending nonsense - not while they're still at school.

Hmm... I'm guessing (from the amount) that this is prep level and your DS is around 10 or younger? My suggestion would be that next time you see the HM you ask him what the house / school policy is on borrowing and lending "so you can make sure you're telling your DS the right thing." He's sure to ask why....

This is what comes of allowing children money at school. It's much easier if they simply have a school account and are all doled out the same amount for trips.

But you're right, it is a good learning experience. He'll be wiser next time!

£5 a term?? This sounds very low even at a prep school. I would discourage the lending and borrowing unless they all want careers in banking. It will be anything goes then!

Yes £5 is low - but that was what the matron recommended when I tried to give her £15 at the start of term - DS is a weekly boarder so spending opportunities are really quite limited. £5 a term was what I got at boarding school at DS's age, nearly 30 years ago, and it was pretty tight back then when it cost 25p for a mars bar.

It's not about the money at all. It's a principle kids got to learn right at this young age. There are a million things in this world that one cannot afford (or get) for one reason or other - not necessarily in monetary terms. So one has to learn to go without or until such time when one can afford to get it. It's basic discipline training.

£5 a term sounds an absolutely meagre amount. I would alert the Housemaster to the borrowing issue. Also I would replace the money as your DS did nothing wrong and was taken advantage of by an older boy.

When my DS's were at boarding prep we weren't allowed to give them money if they went to the shop/beach/school jolly etc the school gave each child the same amount and bunged it on our bill. This stops the "Ive lent it to a friend", it being lost but other children are accused of stealing it, some having more than others or children not having any because they're full boarders and haven't seen their parents for three weeks and have spent it or parents simply forget to give them any. At prep they really shouldn't need much money.
Of course some parents ignored this despite regular letters telling us not to do it but if money was found on children it was removed.
At senior school again we are told to restrict the amount of money your DS has, I don't think they're meant to have more than £10 in cash on them and they are not meant to have large amounts in their bank accounts, obviously to stop them buying things they shouldn't, again parents ignore instructions.

I think if your DS felt intimidated into lending his money then I would have a more direct conversation with the housemaster. In my DS's prep school similarly to HG's there was no pocket money but pocket money for trips was equally distributed so there would be no reason for one boy to borrow from another one. However there were stories of huge amounts of cash being found on the occasional boy (always Russians in the stories ).
Should n't the housemaster look after any pocket money for the younger boys?

^^ This. I don't like the sound of older boys "persuading" a younger boy to part with his entire cashpile for the term in his first week. Has he just started boarding? I think I'd be asking questions of the housemaster and hope this is sorted out.

Also I don't quite understand why, if there were supposed to be limited spending opportunities, they ended up going on a trip where that scale of spending could happen. Was it not planned for? Usually if schools take a class on a trip they let parents know if there's an expectation they should bring money. £5 disappearing is a bit different from spending 20p on a cake sale.