Any advice greatly appreciated

[mooshy]

Hi,
dd1 is 13 and in yr 9.
She has a horrid music teacher who is really harrassing her to go to choir at lunchtime.
For the whole of last term Abby politly said she did not want to do choir any more. This teacher searches the corridors and finds my daughter.
Last week she hid in the toilet.
Last term she found Abby and frogmarched her into the choir room holing her by her jumper-she was pushed into the room and said she was really embarressed.
This teacher has said if she quits choir she must also quit her singing lessons which a separate teacher comes in to do and Abby loves her singing lessons.
There are a couple of her friends who do singing lessons with her and they are not made to attend choir.
This teacher is head of music and a real dragon. She makes me very nervous and even my husband !
I sent a brief polite nte in today simply stating that Abby no longer wants to do choir.
She has been told she has to now quit her singing lessons.
I fear that she will ridicule and humiliate dd even more now i have supported her wish not to attend choir.
Why is this woman allowed to pick out my dd and force her into hiding during her lunch break ?
She is dreading her music lesson now.
Can we ask for certain teachers not to teach our children ?
Will she have to do music in year 10.
Sorry to rant-i came on here instaed of ringing her head of year and prob. making a t*t of myself !

If there are others who have singing lessons but do not go to choir, then there doesn't seem to be a reason by your dd should not be able to opt out either.

I think that I would make an appointment to see the scary music teacher to discuss school policy (to check what it is) and to challenge it if necessary.

If you don't get any joy, then go and see the headteacher and discuss it with her/him.

Has your dd told you why she doesn't want to go to choir? This needs to be shared with the teacher as well I think (even if it means you have to tell her that dd finds her intimidating!) Is it to do with having friends who don't got to choir, and therefore your dd wants to spend her lunchtimes with them?

I have to say that I do think that singing in choirs goes hand in hand with singing lessons, as you build on the skills from one, in the other, but this link seems to be being handled badly in your dd's school.

Thanks littlefish.
No none of her friends go to choir because they found it really boring.
I agreed with you entirely on the choir and singing going together bit, until she started humiliating dd, and then i thought-how dare you indimidate and push my dd into doing something she clearly has chosen not to do anymore.
I think also her choir is very thin on the ground !
I am a wimp and dont think i could face her .

I think you should ring the head of year. Don't be afraid of the teacher - what can she do to you? The cane? One hundred lines? Essay on the inside of a ping pong ball? No. You are a grown-up and you can just walk out. She's a teacher, you are a parent. She has to appear professional and you don't. So you have more power, believe it or not. (OK, I sometimes find it hard to remember that with some teachers...) And her behaviour sounds completely off. You sound concerned she'll pick on your daughter more if you stand up for her, but the reverse is more likely to be the case surely?

In the event that you cannot sort this out so that your daughter can have singing lessons in school without going to choir, could you arrange for her to have singing lessons outside school?

Agree with littlefish about choral training in young singers being vital alongside solo technique lessons...but your dd does not have to attend school choir if she hates if - quite possibly with good reason from the sound of things.
Your daughter sounds as though she has a good voice - why not find out more (perhaps from her external singing teacher) about the National Youth Choir of Great Britain - which has a training choir for younger singers.
I think physically compelling a child into what is supposed to be a voluntary, fun, lunchtime activity is disgraceful bullying actually. If this woman treats children in this fashion I am amazed that she has anyone left in her choir at all .

Oh, and do you pay for the solo singing lessons or are they offered as part of her music curriculum? Where does it state in writing that in order to attend these lessons you must also sing in the school choir?

Good points Hallgerda.

You're right Mooshy, no one has the right to intimidate or humiliate your child which is why you need to take a deep breath and arrange to go and see her. Make a list of all the things you want to raise so that you feel really prepared.

If you really can't face it, then consider going to see the head teacher. However, the head teacher may well ask why you haven't spoken to the scary music woman first (obviously it gives you the chance to say that she's a nasty scary woman ).

Hallgerda thanks !
Thats just what i wanted to hear.
Can you believe they dont have heads of year anymore.
dd described new year heads as SOCIAL WORKERS ! - think she got that bit wrong but i got the idea. God how times have changed.Apperently they dont want heads of year to be teachers so probably some sort of new trend.
Ill see how it goes and see the head of year now if need be-perhaps Ill also write a letter cc to chair of gov. ect if gets any worse ??

Thanks marina
I pay for the singing lessons.
Apparrently this teacher told Abby today she had to attend choir because her parents had signed a form in year seven saying she had to do it !
HHmmmm-glad Abbs was able to produce little note from mummy just at that moment .
Thanks everyone-we must stick up for our children so they become happy confident (but not too confident ! ) young people-oh gosh its going to get worse I`m sure.