"Oh muuuummmm...do I have to go?"

[joelallie]

How strict should you be about insisting your kids stick to things that they've chosen to do? My DD has tried 4 activities in the last 18 months - dance, Rainbows, gym and now karate. DS#1 has fairly consistently enjoyed cricket and karate so I know that it will only take a bit of nagging from us to make him agree to go and he'll enjoy it.

But how strict are you when it comes to these things? They have to go to school but these are voluntary so I don't like to insist too much - but then again it's a bit pointless trying to improve your skills and get picked for teams/gradings if you keep missing sessions. I have friends whose DD's have something every night - can't imagine how she manages that without rows.

Message withdrawn

She's 7. I don't now, which is why she's only going to karate which is pay as you go and she wears her brothers cast offs. Anything else she's going to have to work hard to convince me that she's serious. But I don't want her to miss out on things that she will enjoy and will benefit her.

We ended up giving our ds the nickname 'the 6-week wonder' as that was about the average time he would be interested in outside activities. He tried various things and in the end we just regarded most things as giving him a sample. He was never bothered about not being picked for things once he had lost interest in it so that wasn't an issue. He did find a couple of things that held his interest in his teens and stuck at them long-term so his earlier seeming lack of staying power was irrelevant to his later development. Once he found what really interested him there was no stopping him.

This is a big issue for me with my kids (age 5 and 7). DS loses interest after 2 or 3 goes, and dd is too shy to do anything. DS refuses to help me get ready for things, and then I resent him when I get arranged to go and he doesn't WANT TO!

I have learned the hard way to only try things that are pay as you go. And DS has to get himself sorted to get out the door. I can't stand to pay £41 for a 10 week course and then they might not go. I don't have the energy to 'make them'. I know I'm a terrible failure as a pushy parent. Sincerely, it bothers me! I guess I should be glad I'm not spending a fortune on after school activiites (I would love to, but they won't coooperate).

The only thing I push on them is swimming (safety reasons in mind), and I think they are only going to do that part of the year.

It's frustating isn't it. I have these visions of my mate's DD's being ultra-fit, piano playing, artistic ballet dancers as teenagers whilst mine are standing round in the park being bored and drinking white cider But as my kids so far are getting on a bit better at school and seem to be happier, easier-going, friendlier people than hers maybe I'm doing OK... Here's hoping anyway.