Tutoring 3 & 4-year-olds for private school assessments

[expatkat]

How do you feel about this?

I left Manhattan in part to avoid this madness, only to discover that in London getting your kid into a decent school, state or otherwise, is an equal or worse nightmare.

As Janinlondon pointed out on a fascinating thread on school interviews, people REALLY DO have their kids coached for their school assessments. All the time.

Now, I honestly don't care what people do or what choices they make andto illustrate thisI'll explain I was once called on mumsnet, rather damningly I thought, a member of the "live and let live brigade." But I really have a problem with tutoring small children. I feel viscerally, deeply horrified by it. I wish I could see it more objectively or forgivingly, but my own upbringingwhich emphasized academic achievement & name-brand education at the expense EVERYTHING ELSE in lifeshowed me the pitfalls of following that path.

I would be very open to other views, though. What do y'all think?

PLU- people like us

I used to help prepare children from private schools assessment although what I did wasn't teaching the child, it was about practice and familiarisation with tasks they were likely to be asked to do. Nothing I could do about being with other children though!

I used to work on things like cutting skills, responding to a story that had been read, getting them to put up their hand up, drawing what they were told to and talking abuot it. Basically stuff the parents would be doing with them but the key difference was it was a stranger doing it which some children really don't react well to! And no matter how they 'performed' I would praise them so they were confident the next time they were asked to do it.

Is that tutoring?

ag - what letter does the school begin with - is it C? I really want to know which school does this famous princess party!

Bellissima - it was the kicking them out at 6 that gave it away as I know someone whose dd goes there and I was quite shocked to hear this. I imagine at that age the girls know what's going on and it's because they're not up to it .

I know quite a few old girls from there - all pretty darn successful and smart in varying ways.

And finally to the OP, on the whole these assessments are quite informal and the kids don't realise what's going on at all. Some are not so well handled and frankly if they aren't sensitive to the fact that e.g. some 3 year olds need reassurance or won't want to leave their parents still, then I'd steer clear of that school anyway.

expatkat - I agree that - if true - this is terrible.

Where we live we don't have these pressures because the secondary schools (comprehensives) are well liked and the private schools aren't very academic.

Therefore, you will come across as may Oxbridge/Russell group entrants in the comprehensives as you will in the private schools. This reduces parental stress at the age of 3.

For the record, I was educated entirely in the state sector (and in some poor primary schools) and went on to Cambridge. Once there you couldn't tell the difference between those who had been to the famous schools (St Pauls, Westminster) and those who had been to their local comp. And I think those of us who had been to comprensives had been the lucky ones because we hadn't been tutored or pushed from the age of 3 (or 4 or 7). We had just been able to develop naturally.

Sometimes local primary schools can look rougher than they really are. At my dds school it is the rougher (noisier, smoking) element that stand out...the quiet and consciencious parents are less noticeable. So, if you were worried about hot-housing in private schools, look around your local school and try and get a feel for what it is really like inside. Speak to the head. Inner London schools can often have the most inspiring and committed teachers and your children will get to meet people from across the world.

I don't know anyone who tutored for primary entry even those who went to the v selective local private school

Our local pre-prep shows children a picture of coloured beads on a string and then gives them a tray of beads and a string and asks them to copy it. This assesses fine motor skills, attention span and logic.

There you had that for free on MN!

My dc go to state school, so thankfully we did not have to sit at home practising bead threading as interview prep.

dc go to a prep where there is an assessment at 3. it is a bit bonkers i agree

the assessment itslef they both loved - lots of jigsaw and drawing and stories.

i only know of one parent who has admitted to 'tutoring' - they had a montessori teacher come over and prepare their daughter specifically for the test - over a period of months - and she did get in.

my kids were not tutored - i would not have gone down that route at 3.

I don't think I'd have wanted my DD to go to an infants school where 'tutoring' was in the least bit relevant to entry.

Um, the orignal OP was in 2004!

aren't they mostly assessing the parents?

The OP was in 04 but Biw revived it wanting to know where to find a tutor so a lively debate has ensued! Seems it's still a relevant concern.

I think what Cortina meant by 'failing' is that the child didn't secure a place at that school.

Great discussion about tutoring at such a young age. I'm a tutor who helps children prep for such assessments and this morning this is what I did -

Help child understand that puzzle has corner pieces with 2 striaght lines,
how to draw Mummy,
play matching game,
5 addition sums and read 4 pages of cvc words.

is this 'tutoring'?!

I think we have to understand that tuoring for 7+ and 11+ is different from 4+ and 5+.

Sorry that should read..'tutoring for 7+ and.....'

And this is being revived again from 2009 because.....?

mumteacher - you do that with 3 year olds as well? Madness, absolute madness.
I come from the country where formal education starts at 7 and we have the highest literacy levels in the world.
Tutoring toddlers is just so wrong, let them chase rabbits and similar and jump in the puddles!
Childhood is painfully short anyway, why cut it even shorter it by shoving 'educational activities' down their throats?

i am looking for a tutor for my duaghter who is 4..mumteacher where r u based? anyhelp will b appreciated..

Rollmops - that is what 4yr olds in our country are 'tested' on. I don't set that agenda.

Feenie - it's revived because it's still a topic people like/want to debate.

But why did you revive a thread from 2009 - why not just start another?

It seems like a desperate job advert to me, mumto3yearold mumteacher.

Several posts on other threads were even more blatantly touting for business than this and have been deleted.

Mumteacher, I suggest that it would be better if you paid mumsnet a small fee and advertised your sevices properly, instead of PM'ing people randomly and getting people irked by touting on threads.

Hope that helps!!! It was meant to be helpful!

marialusia "my sweetest revenge was showing my dad an offer letter from Oxford and then telling him I was going somewhere else "

This is one of the most brilliang things I have ever read on here. Ha!

Of course we shoud take an interest in our kids education but we should never ever live vicariously through our children. Tutoring 3-4 year olds when most countries around the world don't start school until 6-7. Madness.

expatkat you're wrong about Japan. The kindergartens won't teach kids anything, just lots of playing outside or messing about with play do. Then at 6-7 they go to elementary school, which is gets homework but the parents migh start some sort of extra class for their kids (but usually just a hobby).
But at 12 they go to Junior high school. When they hit twelve their life is over
But the early years (before 7) are not high pressured at all.

too many buts in that last post

Salutary, they posted that seven years ago - they may not be here now!