Calling any Student Nurses/Midwives with kids...

[nutcracker]

Right i am planning to go back to college in september to do an access to health careers course. I started the course part time last sept but didn't cope very well with it for a number of reasons, so left after the first term.
I am planning to go back full time and will be applying to university shortly after the course starts.
My dream is to eventually become a neonatal nurse, but what i want to know is am i being unrealistic. I am 25 with 3 kids aged 6, 4 and 15mths and a partner who may aswell not be there.
I also don't drive which is going to be a major problem i think.

I would really love to hear from anyone who has been or is in a similar situation.
I just need a kick up the backside really.

me again mate, (!) i have found two websites invaluable, they will answer all of your q's they both have excellent message boards and a lot of the students are mothers with children.
just do google search for both of these sites...

1. student midwives sanctuary
2. arborwood nurse forum just click on the google link.

A friend of mine is half way through a midwifery degree. She is 25 0r 26 and has 2 small children under 5. She loves doing her course, obviously she is tired a lot but says it is worth it. I think she has at least 1 full day off each week, but am not sure. There are other mature students on the course.
There is a good site called studentmidwives, I believe, also Bournemouth Uni have a site, as they offer the course there.
I think you have to look at it as a long term plan, as a career rather than a job. If it is something that you want to do, you are much more likely to succeed than if it is just a job, IYSWIM.
HTH, good luck, xx

Oh thanks you two. I will have a look at those sites now.

They are brilliant sites. I have just registered on the nursing one, and i'm waiting for my registration confirmation.

i would dearly love to be a midwife, but with two under fives ive ruled it out for the time being as i really dont think it would be fair on the children.
youve already started the course once & dropped out, it wont be any easier this time round. & if you do pass the access course (which is not guarenteed) when you start your training you have to follow the shift patterns of a nurse which would involve doing a mixture of earlies lates & nights. you would need to have a seriously good childminder & very supportive partner who works flexible hours (so he can pick up the kids as & when nescesary) to make it work. you would also find yourself spending every spare minute studying so would not have any spare time for the kids which wouldnt be fair on you, your partner or the children. its not impossible, just damn hard. & in my opinion not worth sacrificing your childrens precious early years for.
i would advise getting a part time job in a hospital for a while (apparently they are always crying out for people on the bank, you can work the hours you want & you dont even need to be experienced) then when your children are all at secondary school go for it then (if you are still interested)
im sorry if you think im putting a downer on it, but it is something ive seriously considered doing & i have looked into how it would work & quite frankly if youre honest with yourself you know it wont work. for one you cant drive, how would you get to & from the hospital to the childminders & school without transport? especially on a night shift? & secondly you say your partner may as well not be there, well who would look after the kids when youre on night shift? who would drop them off or pick them up from the childminders when you cant do it?
you dont need a kick up the backside but you do need something for you, it is difficult being stuck with kids all day & no adult company, but its not forever. you could put your little one into a nursery for one day a week to get some time to yourself to recharge your batteries as i think thats what you really need.
all the best with whatever you decide, & im deeply sorry if anything ive said upsets you because thats not been my intention at all.

My friend did this - she had an au pair to help with the child care issues. I know she found it really hard work but she graduated last year with a First and she's a really great midwife! (I'm a bit biased - she was with me for 15 hours with DS1 and explained me all the way through the forceps delivery and delivered DS2 - her last one as a student!)
I think it's really helpful when midwives have had children - otherwise they say useful things like "It doesn't hurt that much..."
Good luck Nutcracker - anything worth having is going to be hard work!

nutty, i know that the student midwives one is not the route that you want to take but on the message board a lot of mums on there are doing the access course so it may be worth your while to just log onto every now and again to see how they are coping!!
the child care and bursaries forum on the arborwoods one has lots of info re finances etc while studying
emma x

Emma, both of those sites are brilliant. I have had a look at the finance bit, and i think i'd have to do the diploma as i'd get a set bursary of about 5000 and then get it topped up to 6315 with extras.

I have to do it. i'll be forever wondering what if otherwise.

Only thing i'm not to sure about is childcare for ds. I know that the uce has a nursery but if placements were no where near it then it would probably mean to mcuh traveling.

is there not a nursery near to where you live where you could drop him off? instead of having to all the way to uce and then to placement?
eleanor did the diploma, she graduated last year, ill ask her what your placements are like ( like how many weeks where etc)
i read on one of those websites that the government were going to pay for nursery places for children of student nurses , it should come into effect within the next 18 months, so hopefully that should help you if you can get a place near to you.
im sure your family will help out as a last resort if you get stuck on some days wont they?

you must do it nutty. LIVE TO REGRET THE THINGS YOU DID DO RATHER THAN THE THINGS YOU DIDNT!!!!!

you will always think that the time isnt right to do it, yes you could wait till they start secondary school but then they will still need you but in a different way (probably more demanding)!!

My sister is a student midwife who is currently pregnant - I shall let her know about those sites. The issue she is worried about is the flexibility she will need in childcare - it beats me why they can't do set shifts, but apparently this is unheard of and for some inscrutable NHS reason is unchallengable. And teh hospital has a nursery, but it is only open 9-5, which hardly suits any of the shifts, so it obviously isn't meant for nurses children!

my dh did an access to nursing course and took our son, then 2 years, to the college creche. he really enjoyed the access course - he found parts or it very easy as well, but he needed the qualification to get into university to study nursing. The access course did not, in his case, take up anything like 35 hours a week - he had to be in college for a few hours most days, but as the course reached its end, some lessons were cancelled. Some people did drop out, but others didn't. My son loved the creche and we had no problems there at all. My dh then started the university course but a few weeks into the first term had major second thoughts. He found it very difficult to cope with the idea that he was meant to initiate a lot of the study, and motivate himself. He realised what a lot of work he would have to do on his own. He craved structure. I don't know if this style of learning is common to all nursing courses. He decided to quit the course a few months into the first term. Some of the reasons were personal, but he also realised that there was lots of hard work involved with not much pay to look forward to on qualification. He realised he hadn't enough sense of vocation to carry on. He had a good friend (a fellow classmate) who tried her best to talk him out of it - as did I - but to no avail. His friend went on to finish her course and she is very happy to be a nurse. She had several children, but I don't know what her childcare arrangements were.

So if I can offer any advice, nutcracker, I'd say look beyond the access to health careers course and see what sort of study and commitment is needed at university when you study nursing there. If it appeals to you, then go ahead and do the access course. Those websites sound like a mine of information, so I hope they help you reach a decision.

Nutty, i work within a hospital environment and have done for nearly 4yrs, i am not a nurse but u can chat to you about shift work and kids, and i have looked extensivly into nursing (i have an interview for a diploma course, but will probably say no as i have a decent job right now).

Nutcracker, I am afraid that I can't help but add my own tuppenny worth. I am a University Nurse Lecturer - I left the NHS six months ago. The truth is, you are wise to consider all these issues because it is DAMNED HARD for all students, particularly those with children.
However, the truth is you would not be the only one. Many, many students are what we call 'mature'(ie not straight out of school) and all have similar problems. In many ways this makes better students. For many childcare is a huge issue and it really depends on the support you have at home. I believe that now is the best time for anyone to train simply because the NHS is sooo desperate it is being forced to make many concessions for parents that otherwise it might not make.
The training is hard. Your placements, if there are numerous hospitals, could be all over the place and although you would be given money for travel it would only be from base i.e the university campus and it can be very time-consuming and depressing paticularly when you are tired. As a vocational course it will be emotionally very demanding, sometimes you will hate it and others you will love it - the rewards can be great. The course is validated by the number of placement hours that you do, there is no way round it. If you can't do them now you have to do them later. On top of these hours you will have assignments to do in your time.
The methods of teaching now is enquiry-based-learning, if your university doesn't do it now is it will very soon. Basically, we don't lecture very much anymore. We facilitate your learning by helping students to ask the right questions and find out the answers by themselves. So it is true there is alot of self-study. However, we find that this suits mature students who can organise their own workloads around their children.
Never imagine this can be a 9 to 5 thing and students who have tried to work it this way will usually become stuck. Hence the fact you need flexible childcare arrangements.
Once qualified, ie 3 years if you are doing a diploma, you will be snapped up in a flash. You life will instantly become easier and presently, it is possible to arrange hours to suit you. The emotional demands of this course cannot be overemphasised but once you are there you will know you are in one of the most worthwhile professions imaginable.

Nutcraker,can't really help, but just to let you know my wife did the direct entry Midwifery course at Bournemouth Uni, qualifying 2 years ago. We have 4 children ranging from 5 to 14 at the commencement.
She fiound the course difficult but the job is very rewarding, I like to think that I did help, but dw would be the best one to answer that.
Additionally her work patterns are not developed to be conducive to family life but we all pitch in to help where we can.
Overall I think it is the best thing she did as the work is very fullfilling.

Mrsdoolittle - Thanks for that, it's great to get it from another point of view.

AlanP - Sounds like it was worth it then. Most things worth having are worth the stuggle i guess, so i'll just have to decide just how hard i'm prepared to work.