Why is private education so taboo now?

[DoMyBest]

When I was younger I was privately educated as were most of my friends. Now we all have children and almost all of them have decided to send their children to state schools. Whilst for most of them it was a question of money, for others it really wasn't: they believe that every child should have the same educational opportunities and if parents like them start giving their kids exclusive treatment then the system won't work. Some of these parents chose local 'outstanding' state schools, but one couple with enough money to buy every private school in town admirably chose their worst local state school and work hard to improve it.

I listen to these stories with interest, sometimes admiration but mostly respect for their choices & views.

So it's with some alarm, now we have chosen a private school for our son, do discover the hatred this decision engenders. Private education has, it would seem, become taboo.

So here's my question: is it morally right for people to get angry with parents who privately educate their children?

What a sad state of affairs Thelate although frankly and. I hope it's not something you free with. Although sadly from my experience this does not come as any surprise. I used to only work in the public sector with children not only did my union actively promote innovation in my field I have a legal obligation to keep my self up to date with it and ensure my practice is underpinned by it.

"The teaching unions ( and I belong to one) are made up of their members and therefore there to protect their members, not to promote educational innovation - indeed they resist it."

Really? When you've finished turning cartwheels,could you elaborate?

Let's try that a again bloody auto correct.
What a sad state of affairs TheLate and I hope it's not something you agree with. Although I have to say it does t come as a surprise. I too work with children in the public and private sectors and not only does my union actively promote current innovation in my practice I have a legal obligation to ensure that my practice is underpinned by it.

Obviously too busy turning cartwheels to elaborate.

rabbitstew rolls her eyes at the ceiling.

I think schools are dvisive issue no matter what sector or where you live in england/wales as bit more chilled in scotland I think.

My birth father went to expensive private school and still screwed up his life.

I had ex who went private boys ordinary middle class background on old assisted places that labour scrapped in 97 and hes done very well and better than if he had gone same crap local comp I went too which was truly awful but only seniors in town.

No taboo here bristol has largest independent sector outside london and huge shortage places and some truly dire state schools.

If I meet someone who goes private I think gosh you jolly lucky you have that option.

I have 3 kids so cant afford private.

My daughters in juniors at small state primary in affluent village where many o them go on exotic houses, few flash cars but most truly wealthy have beaten up volvos. Some d leave before year 6 g private prep assume prepare them for 11+ but some leave in year 6 and go onto selective state schools and private schools so moneys not an issue guess if people fortunate have good state school on doorstep then they save money for seniors.

However all these outstanding amazing state schools have very small catchments so means have to have wealth just stand shot at getting in so weighing up which is cheaper moving house or paying private way house prices are some private school fees must seem a bargain.

A lot of wealthy people also maybe more covert top up state education with tutoring and other extra curricular so they still have quite a nice life and live middle class bubble money buys choices.

lots of grammar places cost money to get into and not every area has grammar schools.

grammar and faith schools can also invoke a hostile reaction too.

All we can do is make decisons based on factors at at time applying what we can afford and hope for best.

When feeling under attack easy get defensive and look at it through rose tinted glasses.

We have been in 2 state primaries one rc 1 coe.

The last school one of dds classmates went to cheapest private prep in area 1500 a term. at new school there are 2 people who left that prep school as just because its private its not good, in fact several have left for good state schools or other private leaving her classmate in class of 6 bit small and her mother likes to tell all and sundry that her child goes private school yet she moans shes broke and cant afford send younger one there next year so its bit odd situtation.

Daughters new freind who was at prep much prefers state coe and her mum says the education they receive so much better so when old school mum gloats i think oh well nothings perfect everyone wants different things.

I like even mix but most schools so skewed its hard find even mix.

David camerons kids go state and he intends send them state senior but naiice middle class one.

Lot of socialists polly toynbee, dianne abbot, balls kids all go private.

The media makes huge hype out of who went went private and its become quite political now.

On schools boards often see lot private so few mumsnetters must go provate some not through choice just lack school places.

The uk more expensive these days and many cant afford replicate their own childhood with education, holidays and houses.

I think a parent who chooses private education is a selfish one. No child is worth more than any other. Education should be a fundamental right and we should all receive it equally. That is the only way we can live in a true meritocracy and I think democracy.

There are many arguments against private education. The argument that all DC should receive the same education is not one of the stronger ones.

I think a parent who chooses state education when they could afford to pay fees is a selfish one. They are putting other children before their own and failing in their duty to their child.

Or
I think a parent who chooses to feed their child healthy food and read to it is a selfish one. No child is worth more than any other. All children should receive the same diet/reading experiences. To give more to your child which others dot have will not achieve equality.

[Don't my points above illustrate why it is perfectly morally right to pay fees and no different than spending your money on the child's diet rather than cocaine or shoes say?]

It is the moral imperative of parents to bestow advantage upon their own DC to the very best of their ability.

Maria - what you feed your child impacts on no one else's child. Paying to perpetuate a system which actively disadvantages the majority of children by contributing towards social and economic ghettoes, hiving the children of the rich off into socially isolated islands of educational privilege, from which a good number will go forward into positions of political and economic power - well it's not good for society. It's divisive. It PERPETUATES inequality. It perpetuates political and economic fuckwittedness the like of which our current government specialises in - because it's born of a social apartheid.

Minifingers has said it all tbh. That make sense Maria?
Bonsoir you may not think it's the strongest point but it is the only one that matters in my book. I think it should be the moral imperative of adults to provide an equal society for all children. Not just each individual parent looking after their own. That just breeds hatred and inequality.

Minifingers-brilliantly put.

Bonsoir- no it isn't.

Life is a competion, Martorana. It is not cheating to engage fully in that competition.

I totally agree with Bonsoir, life isn't fair neither.
Somebody up thread suggested that selective schools in terms of vocation was not the same thing.
This seems all right to people, almost acceptable and yet selective through academia is not?
All selective private schools are the same and are all unfair to a certain degree, even those that offer 100% bursary are unfair to those with a bigger income, higher out goings who can't afford fees.
What do we do have no Olympians, dancers, musicians or actors, because it isn't fair to those who can't afford it?

Life is indeed a competition, and investing disproportionately large amounts of money in the education of one social group makes a true meritocracy impossible.

No - not have no Olympians etc. just acknowledge that everyone should have the same chance to reach their potential and create an education system to reflect this.

Of course buying certain foods to feed our DC impacts upon other DC. As does how much we're willing to pay for housing.

By buying these resources for our DC we stimulate economies that have negative impacts upon many DC.

Very little is done in isolation. But that doesn't stop us wanting those resources.

Also, the very act of feeding one's child home cooked food made with the very best fresh ingredients puts them at a distinct advanatge over the millions of DC who have parents who cannot or will not provide that.

And the act of providing your DC a lovely home in a beautiful safe place, filling it with toys and books and comfort greatly advanages them over DC who don't have such things.

Wise words, WordFactory. Very little is done in isolation indeed.

I suppose we all walk a tightrope between looking after our own and thinking about the world they live in - the communities, the wider 'family', and so on. For me, thinking about inclusion IS 'selfish' too, in that I want my children to grow up in a community that values inclusion...so I work hard to support a school that does just that.

But it is a balancing act, and under different circumstances who knows what choices I might make.

Incidentally, where we live, private education is not at all 'taboo'. Quite the opposite.

"Life is a competion, Martorana. It is not cheating to engage fully in that competition."
I didn't say anything about cheating.

But I don't actually think life is a competition.

I hate the martyr complex some parents have about choosing to privately educate their children (or send them to an indie boak)

I've said it before - you have bought your child advantage above the vast majority of the children in this country. Therefore they are not some oppressed minority facing prejudice. They have won life's lottery.

And I work almost permanent nightshift to pay our mortgage/bills.

If you don't think life is a competition.... You are wrong!

I'm not convinced most parents would want their children in the sort of environment that many private schools have. Our local state primary school was a mess so the Council brought in a high flyer Head who had previous experience in the private sector . He was tasked with implementing what he could from his private sector experience. He did this with great gusto and the school was transformed. Results were up, pupils had great school pride, there was a real sense of community, parents were much more heavily involved in their DC's education and there were far greater expectations of everyone - pupils, teachers and parents.

How the parents howled. Not all- I thought it was fantastic- but oh, so many were not happy with the changes. Too much competition! To much required parental involvement! Too high expectations!

The Head moved on to bigger and better things after a couple of years and since then the school has been in a rapid decline. It's now nearly 4 years on and every single initiative implemented by that Head has been removed. The atmosphere has completely changed but most people don't seem all that bothered.

Yes, private schools are unfair but whilst many at the local school look down on me for going private, they wouldn't want their DC at my son's school even if it were readily available to them for free!