stuck in a stand off with a student. wwyd?

[wonderingteacher]

Have nc for this.

I teach in FE and had a run in with a student (she's 17, nearly 18) a few weeks ago.

I asked her tthree times to put her phone away in class. The third time (same lesson) I said she'd have to leave if she wouldnt put it away. 4th time I asked her to leave.

She pushed her chair back and said "you're a fucking bitch" and stormed out.

I reported the incident to her form tutor and expected her to come and find me to apologise. She's refused - told my manager 'I'm not saying sorry, she is a fucking bitch"

I've never had a problem with her or any of her classmates before - it was totally out of the blue.

I've refused to let her back in class until she apologises and have handed work over to her at the door each lesson (1 a week so only 3 so far). Manager says she's entitled to come to class and I need to let her in.

I've backed myself into a corner over it and I'm not sure where to go with it. Any advice? ?

Letting her back in teaches her nothing about the real world. Had she spoken to an employer like that it would have been a meeting, mediation and verbal or written warning at the least, full blown disciplinary at worst.
It sounds to me that she wanted to get kicked out, they are the actions of a girl who doesn't want to be there but wants to have the excuse for everybody else that you won't let her in the class (be it peers, parents etc) its much easier at 17 to tell parents the tale of woe that Mrs Wonderingteacher hates her and won't have her in the class than to say she doesn't want to be there.
Your manager should be setting the meeting up with this girl and her parents, gain an apology and everyone moves on, there is no way that this girl should come back into the class until that has been made clear or there is no point in having rules.

Of course it is being handled wrongly but if OP can't get her manager to back her up and she is backed into the corner she will have to do something. Just admitting defeat will allow any behaviour in future-I would go for sugary sweet-say things that are obviously insincere but have no comeback because she knows that you are insincere but can't prove it.
(That is only a last ditch solution-getting back up is preferable).

I am very surprised in this day and age that there isn't a global policy at the College about phones in class, explicit rules & procedures, etc.

I do half wonder if this is so out of character, if maybe the student might be having some huge issues and if compassion/welfare angle might be more fruitful. If you pursued a line of "what is bothering this pupil so much" you might manage to save face & solve the situation.

oh darn, I just saw the policy mention.
I would go down the line about whatever the policy says, and document every single bit of what happens. This is what you'll need if any of this goes further (employment procedure, etc).
But student welfare angle might be more productive.

Crickey. You are plainly right and your manager is wrong. But if they say you have to let her in you either do it or else raise a grievance I think? Feel for you.