What to do?

[Kenlee]

What do you tell your child to do if a girl follows her around the school giving her no room to breath or meet new friends?

My daughter is not one to ignore those who are less fortunate than her. Although, she is getting increasingly irate at being suffocated by the girl.

She has introduced her to new friends but they do lose patience with the girl quite quickly.

It has come to the point where my daughter avoids most activities which involves her. Since the teachers sees my daughter as the comforter.

Thats all fair enough but I dont want my daughter going through her school life having to be a wet nurse.... she also needa to have fun and enjoy life too...

how old? I suspect your DD has to stand up for herself. It's learning how to be assertive.

year 7

yeah, definitely at that age they have to try to handle it themselves (sorry).
Does the school have a 'friendly faces' group who help sort out social situations? To help her find the words to tactfully say that she wants to hang out with other people sometimes, too.

she has talked to house matron who has moved rooms....but its the small niggly things like having to wait for her at breakfast ..So the whole table has to wait for one girl to finish. Where most can finish quickly and move on to other things... Or having dirrty hands and touching bed linen or personal stuff...shoes on the bed...

throwing her stuff into the cupboard and thus dirting everyones clothes and shoes.. I think the worst for my daughter is she likes to place her face in front of hers and talk often being hit by her spittle.

We have talked to House matron and she understands. although my daughter is not happy with her. She still feels it is wrong to rat her out to the teachers or to isolate her....she knows that all the other girls just run away and avoid her....So should she just do the same?

I hope not......

As I repeatedly state boarding is a positive life enhancing experience. Why? You learn to live, work, eat, sleep along side people who you may not like, who have habits you may not like, the irritating, those who eat slowly, I'm sorry this is not a crime we all eat to fast, the hopelessly untidy (guilty your honour), those who spit when they talk (not guilty), those whose standards of personal hygiene don't match yours etc. As adults out in the real world holding down a job this is what our children will have to do.
I amazed the matron moved her most HM's and matrons won't as far as I understand it, everyone has to take a turn at sharing with the popular and the unpopular.

agree with happy . The difficulty may well be that you are only hearing one side (iirc you live abroad) whereas matron will see it on a daily basis. It is only 2nd term and both may well take longer to settle down. It is often hard returning for those early terms . As others join and leave the dynamics will shift. tbh waiting for another on the table to finish eating seems only good manners , not a punishment. suggests your dd finds activities to do which broadens her own social circle and range of interests.

Rat her out to teachers???? What for eating slowly? I agree with LIZS your daughter just needs to find other things to do.

Its not only the eating but yes you are right...she is learning to cope with these problems.... Im just trying to find out ways to stop her getting iirritated by it all.

The reason why I do threat is because I am abroad. I do want her to have a positive experiance. Its trying to think of coping strategy to deal with it.

There are other things such as tantrums and throwing items such as Ipads and the like. My daughter chalks them up to the girls fustrations.

She does sit down with her to talk but it seems to her that the onus is being put on her everytime something happens.

This is more about how to cope ....rather than blaming the girl....

I know you say she is very happy there but could it not be that a bit of homesickness or worry is manifesting itself in her irritation towards this particular girl ?