How would you feel if you were told that your 6th former's favourite teacher..

[curlew]

...had resigned from their previous school after being accused of serious professional misconduct - an inappropriate, but not sexual relationship with an 18 year student post exams- and had recently appeared before the Teaching Agency , where the professional misconduct was confirmed (he never denied it) but was considered not serious enough strike him off or punish him in any way.

He was appointed by current school 3 weeks after his resignation. He was completely open with the current school, and has been closely monitored since his appointment.

This has come out because a parent told the local paper, and the school has issued a statement in advance of publication. So I am sure of my facts.

I hate the fact that I am now looking back on the past year and remembering the kindness he has shown my dd- lending her books, advising her on her personal statement and so on- with some concern. And I am also worried about how she will feel about it. Any thoughts?

I would feel a bit reassured that nothing untoward had happened and that the teacher hadn't denied that despite this, he had overstepped some mark. It shows he is aware of boundaries and his responsibility. Teachers have feelings and are fallible human beings like the rest of us. Not acting on those feelings is a massively important part of the job and it sounds as though he did his best.

He also sounds as though he tends to be one of those teachers who gets close to pupils. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It would be appalling if he misused this or manipulated trust. I think your daughter can continue to like him as a teacher, and you don't need to demonise him but do chat to her about boundaries and how to deal with anything that makes her feel uncomfortable.

I would feel like you I think, rather uncomfortable and looking back over the past with a different pov. its a hard one. I think you might need to chat with your daughter about how sometimes people make mistakes but doesnt mean they are bad. because she and everyone else will know what he did within a heartbeat... and perhaps also say that if she is ever uncomfortable with him then she needs to think about her own boundaries and whether she needs to tell someone.

well i would probably feel a bit wtf? but thinking about it what woodrunner says makes sense.

One of my friends dated the Chemistry teacher at my GS following A Level exams, another girl I knew married the head of the Biology Department 3 years after leaving having been with him since post-A Level and several teachers married each other.

Unless they are seriously predatory (and it doesn't appear that way) and the pupil is not underage then it wouldn't worry me.

In the same way that a gay man doesn't have a thing for every man he sees, a teacher who has had a past affair with a quasi ex-student is not necessarily eyeing up the whole 6th form.

At the same time, having been on the receiving end of propositions from much older men as a somewhat sheltered and self-conscious teenager, it's probably worth discussing issues around advances from men in a potential position of power and how to deal with them.

I think you need to be very careful.

When I was a 6th Form student at a FE College one of my teachers was very 'friendly', and because I was entirely naive I didn't recognise that he was a predatory abuser of youngsters from Catholic schools. I thought he was just interested in me as an academic sort of student i.e. just interested in the subject he was teaching, but later I learned that he'd been making similar advances (sexual) to others from my school who'd attended the FE college in earlier years.

Youngsters of 18 are really just children, but they don't understand that: at 18 many children think they know everything. Of course, they don't. The stuff you've mentioned offering advice, lending stuff etc can be grooming behaviour. I think you need to be very careful indeed. It's a shame if he doesn't really mean any harm, but are you willing to take the risk? I wouldn't be, having been there myself and having suffered the consequences :(