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Original poster

cross mum

28 replies

toot · 02/03/2004 23:30

My 6 y.o sons teacher has 26 kids in the class. She has recently completed a weather chart with the children recording on a big chart the weather each day. At the end of a set period of time they made a big pictogram/bar chart thing to represent the Data. Sounded ok until my little one told me he had been left out because there were only 25 squares on the grid. The kids took turns filling in and signing the grid square if their name was drawn from a bag. His was the name left in the bag after the grid was full. Can someone say somthing to me to put this in context because its making me really cross at her and sad for him.

OP posts:
Jimjams · 02/03/2004 23:37

Was he bothered? Seems a fair way to do it to me if there could only be 25 squares (I assume there was some sort of reason for that).

mrsforgetful · 02/03/2004 23:43

This makes me cross too- we get similar at my son's school- he's 7 and they 'go down the register' in order selecting 2 children at a time to be 'the leaders' each day- this includes taking the registers back to the office and wheeling the lunch trolley along to the dinner hall....now what annoys me is each term they start again ....and some kids don't get as many goes at this as others....this sounds trivial - but to a child it is not.

No i'm afraid i cannot reassure you that you are 'blowing this out of context' as i feel the same for you and your child.

I have had lots of 'little' issues recently and i now write 'formal' typed letters about all of them- i feel that i am now being listened to- so my advise would be to see what others say heare- and if you still feel upset- you must find someone to talk to at the school or write a letter- whichever is best for you.

Bozza · 03/03/2004 10:29

I'm assuming that the 25 squares thing was because it was done over 5 weeks, or because 25 is an easier number to deal with than 26. Thats fair enough, but I do think that the teacher should have realised that there would be one child left over and come up with another task for that child to do. Maybe draw the extra one out first and let that child do the subsequent drawing out or soemthing like that. IMO.

FairyMum · 03/03/2004 10:33

I don't understand why she couldn't just have added an extra grid? Be little flexible? I would be annoyed too and very upset if I was the child I think......

spacemonkey · 03/03/2004 10:35

I would also be upset at this, toot. What is your son's reaction?

Blackduck · 03/03/2004 11:06

Agree with Bozza - she should have realised that one child would miss out - thats just plain cruel....different if it was half a dozen or something...sounds like bad planning to me....

Jimjams · 03/03/2004 11:32

Yes agreed it sounds like bad planning (maybe she thought someone would be away), and I think 6 is a little young for the "can't win all the time lesson". However whether I did anything would depend on my son's reaction. If he wasn't particularly upset I wouldn't do aything. if he came home sobbing then I would ask for a word with the teacher and explain that he had been upset. Often I get upset on my son's behalf, but then I realise that he hasn't even noticed - his case is a little different from normal but I guess its easy to do that.

Sonnet · 03/03/2004 11:52

This is dreadful - it may be a diferent story if a few were "left out" but to leave just one out is totally wrong. If this was my DD she would be very upset and she wouldn't want to go to school...
If I were you I would go and see teacher and tell her what I think....
Good luck, hope your DS isn't too upset about it!

kizzie · 03/03/2004 12:32

Agree with sonnet - if a few wouldnt be involved then fair enough but to know that only one child would be affected just sounds cruel to me.
Kizziex

Twinkie · 03/03/2004 12:37

God - thats mean and unfair - I don't think you are blowing out of proportion - for your baby to mention it it must have been playing on his mond - I would go and give her a black eye (No really!!) I would go and speak to her about it and try and instill in her the fact that little kids can be very sensitive when it comes to being left out and as for the bag thing - they just don't get it - its not a concept that they can grasp (random selection by drawing lots - to them is still unfair!!) - make her give him something extra special to do to make up for it (or go and give her a black eye !!)

stinky · 03/03/2004 12:39

Why couldn't they make one day (maybe the last one) a "special" one and have 2 children do it?

secur · 03/03/2004 13:08

Message withdrawn

Original poster
toot · 05/03/2004 19:29

Sorry to start this and then drop out but DH worked from home while I had bad cold so I couldn`t get on the computer for a while.

To answer a few questions ..... Yes it did bother my 6 y.o lots. There wasn`t a good reason for the 25 grid apart from ease of drawing. She started at some point in Jan and finished 25 days later! We felt that 6 was too young for the "cant always win" life lesson too.

Its very nice to know others would stew over this and that I`m not an over protective mother.

I did go in and speak to the teacher, she seemed suprised that anyone would mind being left out. I didn`t know if I got anywhere but the next day she kept my son back from assembly, appologised and made an extra square on the chart for him - he was ever so happy.

OP posts:
mrsforgetful · 06/03/2004 00:43

TOOT.....you should read our posts on the Special Needs threads...... we are always worrying that we are 'making mountains out of molehills'!!!!!

At the end of the day- who looks out for our kids if we don't?

With ds1 i spent years 'apologising' for what i now know was 'autistic' behaviour.....so now with ds2 and 3 i will not go down the same route.

What your son's teacher did would have sent my ds2 into a complete 'autistic meltdown'- he would have probably worked out on day one that there weren't enough squares.....he counts everything! ........and as is clear- a child doesn't have to be 'special needs' to feel unsettled by things like this.

There are some wonderful teachers (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!) ....but unfortunately there are too many who 'forget' what it's like to be the 'last child being picked for PE' ....or in this case 'The child without a SQUARE'.

Glad we helped you TOOT-

wiltshire · 06/03/2004 02:19

I think you are making a 'mountain out of a molehill', your children need to know that life isn't like that!!

Cam · 06/03/2004 17:03

Life isn't like what, Wiltshire? How can the teacher have a class project for all the pupils in her class except one? Don't be ridiculous.

LIZS · 06/03/2004 17:19

I'd feel the same as Toot. ds would certainly have minded. When the kids start a project they all expect to take part. If it isn't clear from the outset that not all will play a key role then I think it undermines the contribution which that child makes, in their eyes at least. Yes, kids have to learn lessons about taking turns and not always winning at school, but noone wants their child to be casually left on the sidelines either(it reminds me of those PE team picking scenarios of my school days). Glad your teacher listened, Toot, and that you had a positive outcome.

marthamoo · 06/03/2004 17:22

I would have been upset too - I'm glad you went in and sorted it out. Can't see how drawing one extra square on the chart could be such a bother for the teacher. It is part of her job to treat the children in her class equally and fairly.

Jimjams · 06/03/2004 17:33

Glad it worked out Toot.

Don't be too hard on the teacher she probably just made a mistake (does she have kids herself?- I would guess not). I know that when I was teaching (teenagers!) I would occasionally get something horribly wrong. I just used to make sure I never did that again!

hercules · 06/03/2004 17:37

I would complain so at least she doesnt make the same mistake again.
You dont have to have children to realise the effect on them no matter what age they are.

Original poster
toot · 06/03/2004 19:03

Little chap is happy now so I dont think any complaint is necessary. I think the teacher does have children but they are closer to my age than my sons. Perhaps well all forget how the tiny ones feel when weve got teenagers etc.
Thanks again for your time everyone,

OP posts:
Jimjams · 06/03/2004 20:02

I think you're right Toots. We do all make mistakes and she did her best to correct it once it had been pointed out to her.

marthamoo · 06/03/2004 20:37

You're right jimjams - I bet if she a) has no kids and b) hasn't been teaching too long she thought "ah, twenty-five squares..that's logical. One can miss out this time." Heehee, she'll learn

helenmc · 07/03/2004 10:51

Glad its worked out ok for your son. Give the teacher her due, she'll know for next time and she went and apologised to toot's son. I know a lot of adults who wouldn't

prettycandles · 08/03/2004 14:30

Been following this thread with some interest (though had nothing to contribute). Although I agree that the teacher made a mistake originally, I think she dealt with it well once toot had pointed out the results. I recall feeling upset at school about something similar, telling my parents, and they spoke to my teacher. I don't recall what the incident was, but I certainly recall the humiliating result: she called me out in front of the whole class and told everyone that as I was so upset about whatever it was, she was going to do something special for me. Talking to toot's son in private and especially apologising was the right thing to do.

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