Seeking: diverse school for DD - Putney Junior School - Wimbledon High School/Ibstock/Highgate etc seems unwelcoming for ethnic children ?

[Thewriterofthewind]

Hello everyone,
Hope you're all getting along well with this stern but accommodating tutor we all have called Life. I am a fairly older mum of one and I am mixed race - by mixed I mean 1/4 this/1/4 that/1/8th this/1/8th that etc. I married someone similar to me, so our daughter is very mixed. I need to send her to a a good school and we are moving from abroad. Having been "the only coloured girl" at school, I don't wish for my daughter to be. It is extremely lonely being the only one (or the only two or three) and all those people bleating that people like us, should try being uninvited from sleepovers (constantly) because (sorry, we're having a makeup session and no one would be able to style your hair) or being constantly told "you win because you have muscles like a boy" because you're good at athletics. I'm a mensa member and my DD is fairly academic (at the moment) and loves to play tennis. I would also prefer an all girls school. I know NLCS is perfect, but it is too far away from where we will be living (Wimbledon village or Putney). How diverse is Putney High School Junior School? What proportion of girls are of ethnic origin? Does anyone have any knowledge of any excellent other schools with at least 15% of the girls of ethnic origin? Is there anyone out there with similar experiences to mine? Can you please provide me with advice? Are there any other junior or prep schools anyone can recommend in London for a 3 year-old who is new to the city and which can help her prepare thoroughly for entry to the better private girls schools? I have had a look at Wimbledon High School's website and there are no ethnic faces, so I have disregarded this school. However, most of the private school's websites are non-diverse and off-putting for ethnic parents, so am I wrong to disregard WHS? Are there any other schools in London that we should consider, if necessary we will consider moving to somewhere else, once it's within the A406. Thank you very much in advance for your help.

I think your OP is racist; you are making assumptions about pupils at schools based purely on the colour of their skin and your own unpleasant experiences many years ago.

I have two family members at one of the schools you mention, and your sweeping generalisation regarding lack if welcome to ethnic pupils is both ignorant and insulting.

I experienced similar racism myself at school and let me assure you, schools IME take it very seriously these days.

If I read a post saying someone was looking for a school based on not having their child be the only white face, I would be just as disgusted.

As your child is still young, perhaps you could spend time dealing with your past so you're not in danger of passing on your own soft racist attitudes to another generation.

I have reported your post.

I thought OP was rather odd, because the picture she paints of British schools is unrecognisable and is fuelled by extremely dated stereotypes not the current situation.

I looked up a private prep I know a bit - nearly 20% EAL.

Now, the families might be wealthy (there are bursaries, but not that many) or two income working their socks off for one child; but they're racially diverse. Anyone who expects that it would be otherwise hasn't tumbled to just what a diverse city London is.

Eastpoint I have personal experience of both NHEHS and LEH. LEH isn't noticeably whiter. It runs buses from Ealing (quite a few pupils travel from Hanwell) to Windsor to Woking to Wimbledon and Putney. With such a wide catchment and it's academic reputation it does attract a more mixed cohort than if it actually did only attract from Hampton and Teddington. In fact the pupils travelling from within 2-3 miles are a minority and there are significant groups travelling from areas with a high proportion of Asian families in particular. It would not be unusual to have more than a third of the class who are from other ethnicities and cultures, and though they wouldn't be regarded as such by BME measures you also have a significant number from Eastern European backgrounds.

Where has this idea that SW London is white only come from?

Both my children are in pre prep in Wimbledon and both in culturally and racially diverse classes.
I am not a favour of selection at 3 or 4 but the only girl I personally know who got into Wimbledon HIgh this year is half Asian.

Madness to make assumptions on website. Go to the schools and experience the welcome and environment.

Oh wobbly I absolutely back up your point on schools but walk through Wimbledon village, Richmond, Putney and tell me that it isn't pretty much homogenous and white (not that the same couldn't be said for Hampstead etc.) . I say this as an expat who used to be a minority and misses it terribly. I have to go into London or Southall for a fix of (my) normality.

And it's not about colour of skin, it is about diversity, isn't it?

However as well as the points we have all been making about the mix, peer attitudes etc., I would not have applied to any school which did not, regardless of % of whatever different shades of skin colour in it's classrooms, value diversity. When you visit these schools they make it very obvious that they do value the mix of experiences that pupils bring to a school as a result of growing up or living in different cultures. It is that basic value that encourages pupils to do the same.

And on websites my DD and her friendship group used to get thoroughly fed up of being the group who had the photo taken on school outings because they were so racially diverse, and that was the picture they wanted to paint of the school. Perhaps WHS have reached a higher level of maturity in matters of diversity in being able to take photos of school activities without being self conscious about the range of skin colour on show.

Putney/Wimbledon is very diverse.

I dont recognize the picture that OP paints at all.

I dont know about all the private primaries, but there are many very good both state and Church schools around here which are very ethnically diverse.

I also agree that other people/childrens perception of your child will be more influences by where she has lived than her ethnic origin or the colour of her skin.

Thanks shootingatpigeons I was basing my statement on tours of the schools, rather than having children actually in them, which was a mistake.

But we are talking about schools aren't we? If one wants to live in Southall, live in Southall. The majority of my friends are mixed race professionals living in Wimbledon many of whom use private schools. It just isn't accurate to describe the area like this. Can't speak for Richmond.

Wobblypig I absolutely agree that we are talking about schools but if we are talking about why I perceive I live in a homogenously white area of London it is because of what I experience walking down the street. I live where I live because it is a lovely place to live, parks, river, the sort of house I want to live in, schools even. It is why South West London is such a popular place to live, and presumably the attraction for OP, but to say it is as multicultural (or in particular, as socially mixed) as other areas of London is just ridiculous. It is what it is, but it can sometimes be a bit unreal, a sort of London answer to lala land, where people are worrying about the design minutiae of their kitchens and whether the school their child gets into is quite high enough in the league tables, or indeed has exactly the optimum racial mix. Sometimes I have to go and spend some time reminding myself of the real world, but not that I want to live under the flight path to Heathrow

Still it looks like we will never know what OP was on about anyway!!

Surely it's unreasonable to expect a larger proportion of ethnic minority or mixed race children in a school than reflects the population or area as a whole? SW London has loads of non-Brits, but many of these are South African, Australian, mainland European etc. My kids are not from a British background but I don't look at schools wondering if there is a high enough proportion of kids from their background. All the schools I know in the area are full of kids from non British backgrounds, which reflects the area, just that many happen to be white.

Actually South West London has the biggest Korean population outside of Korea. Living in Kingston..New Malden area. So they arent all white. Its funny really how we start going on about different shades of white.

To be quite truthful I dont really give a monkeys where the child comes from be it affluent/ poor British or non British. The most important criteria to me is that they have a good friendship with my daughter.

Dont forget you get arseholes in every walk of society and they permeate right across the affluence spectrum colour creed snd religious belief.

^ this.

If you want to nit pick then I'll point out that both New Malden and Kingston are in Surrey, not SW London. That said, there are a lot of Korean children in the schools I have children at. I think that actually the Brits could complain about unfair representation - my kids are in schools where most kids have at least one if not two non Brit parents.

Kenlee Yes, when I said my DDs friendship group was racially diverse, count in Korean and Singapore Chinese, but then I doubt OP whilst so concerned about what different shades of whatever were on show on the websites would understand the nuances between Korean, Singaporean Chinese and ABC and BBC Not that understanding all that, it matters in terms of the friendships between my DDs and their friends. In fact they have actually gone beyond not coping with difference, as OP experienced, or being ultra sensitive and politically correct, to actually be able to not just value each other's culture but intellectualise and discuss racism and difference and even be comfortable enough to make it the subject of humour. In fact because my DD has a hair colour much derided in UK society her friends comment that they feel a lot safer than her because nobody would dare make the comments about their appearance without their sanction that they do about hers.

Patmos Im was not trying to be obtuse merely pointing out a fact. In fact shooting is correct there are a fair amount of Asians in the South West.

The racist comments that are bandered within my own group if tight friends could never be heard in public.. Yet we do it...because that is a closeness we have developed

I'm genuinely interested - let's say one lives in an area such a SW London/Surrey borders where there is a large Asian population. All the schools I know (private and state - although not necessarily the faith schools as far as I am aware) have an equivalent proportion of Asian children. However, there is a far smaller black population and therefore far fewer black children in the schools. It therefore follows that on school websites and promotional literature there may be few or no black faces. Why is this something to complain about or get worried about? It's merely being representative of the ethnic mix that is in the school.

I assume that the ethnic population of as private school is likely to reflect the proportion of the local population that qualify economically, say earn over £100,000. Then skewed by any cultural priority different groups give to education. And in South West London perhaps further skewed by the relative priorities within cultural groups for co-ed, sports etc. Eg leaving fees aside Tiffin is likely to have a higher proportion of Asians than Kingston Grammar.

Private schools have to select from their available market. For what its worth the four children we know who are almost certainly on full/major bursaries, and thriving,are black (2), chinese and South Asian. Small sample but some evidence that OP is worrying too much.

hi
i think London is very multicultural. am confused when you say your child is 'fairly academic' and likes to play tennis. At 3 years old? seems bit intense to describe practically a toddler in this way. some 3y old are still in pull-ups!

Patmos: They aren't actually in Surrey, Those areas were allowed to retain the Surrey bit in their postal addresses after the Greater London boundary changes in the 1960s. They really are in Greater London so to describe them as SW London is correct

All I can add is that the ethnicity of the school does not matter. Its how the school deals with bullying thats important. Note I used bullying not racism. I do not distinguish between the two. It is just as bad to bully a child on hair colour , obesity or intelligence as it is to do the same with colour , creed or culture.

In fact all the british girls are all extremely nice to my Chinese daughter and go out their way to make her feel welcomed... I do not think just because they are all white that they will prejudice your child. In fact she already has offers of parties over Christmas. The Parents are genuinely nice and have emailed me details for her to attend.

So no OP I think you are wrong to select a school on ethnicity. Rather you should consider if the ethos of the school fits your child...

BTW amazing I have property in Kingston so I knew but didnt want to pursue the matter.. Its strange though that Kingston is included but Esher is not...

I just had a thought if a white supremacist was to send his her child to a school on the pretext that the school brochure had no coloured children in it..

I would just like to see the look on his face when he picks his child up from the school gates.

Im sorry but that image just makes me smile

Amazingdisgrace, I have lived in one of those towns all my life and would never hark back to something that happened 50 years ago. If it's got a KT postcode and a county of Surrey, it's not SW London as far as I'm concerned.

New Malden is in the borough of Kingston, which is in the Greater London education area.
Esher , also Kt postcode, is Surrey.

Please could I ask anyone with an up to date view on WHS to comment over on 'secondary'. OP, if you are around do really consider Wallington, Nonsuch or Tiffin Grammar Schools if the diversity thing is that important.