If you can afford it, would you send your children to an independent school?

[Fiona2011231]

This is a hypothetical question, and I would greatly appreciate your insight.

My question is based on this assumption: In England, if you want your children to have a better chance in life (great success, joining the elites, etc), a good independent school is a requirement. Of course, few have enough money to afford it.

But suppose you have enough money, would you send your children to an independent school? Or would a grammar or a comprehensive school be good enough?

Thank you.

Talkin, really? Shite grades from Winchester? I thought you got letters threatening to boot you out if you did not keep up?

Anyway, that is an aside.

You could be right Talkin I accept it happens in a few cases. But it's not my DH's experience (now middle aged) or any of his contemporaries, not Win Coll but an identical type of school. Nor is it the experience of friends DC's we know who've fairly recently left Eton et al again it was all parental contacts which have opened some very prestigious and lucrative doors.

happygardening. Yeah the "CLUB" its "FAMILY" . Its just like the "SICILIANS"
Looking after their own..

soul of course it is. I'm not saying it's right just detailing my experiences.

I'm so relieved none of my family are ever likely to want to be hedge fund managers or lawyers.

I'd be no use to them whatsoever

rabbitstew

What it opens you up to is excellence in the relevant field ...be it sport with a leading sportsperson, music with a symphony musician or meeting with a Nobel Prize winner or a successful entrepreneur and examples of very successful alumni ....all of which hopefully leads an aspiration of "well, why not me...."...I can't see how such aspirations can be bad at all ...sure you don't have to go to a public school to have them...plenty of role models who didn't if you seek them out.......but top public schools do aim to instil high aspirations and leadership as part of their day to day ethos...and that I do buy into..... the worst would be to have surroundings that instil nothing but mediocrity being the norm.

I should add I would wish for every school to offer an aspirational ethos...it shouldn't be the preserve of the posh .. even if it offering vocational aspirations for children that are not academic inclined but talented or motivated in other ways.

On a relevant subject, i have just logged on to you tube and heard the head of St Johns Catholic School in Gravesend Discuss the Damage Grammar Schools are doing. I don't agree with him of course, but it worth watching the 9 minute film. It is under

(The Damage Grammar Schools do A Headteacher Speaks out)

Unfortunately i don't know how to set up a link.

On the film the head goes on the attack over prep schools destroying the education in kent. It shows that of the 150 places at Tonbridge Grammar last year 62 went to girls from prep schools.

Its worth watching whatever your views are.

and what about the damage that selective faith schools (let's face it they are a sort of social selection) do to an area - did he address that by chance?

NO he did not "Watch it" ....

His school is full of all religions and economic groups. He claims that they are making the 11+ easier and letting kids in to the grammar schools who he should have. He has got this brand new sparkling school but still can't attract
parents or kids to it.

Mind you, what organisations DON'T look after their own?

We have an oversubscribed catholic state school near my neighbourhood...one of the better state schools at primary level ...all the parents are interviewed, asked about attendance at church, etc...I doubt there's any single parents or divorcee parents with DCs there...and I bet they are all middle class ...even though they are ostensibly open to taking a minority of different faiths it's social selection...and worse still at expense of tax payer...I find that pernicious. In the US, religious as it is as a country, selection by faith is only allowed in private faith schools -i.e. tax payer is not funding it.

I just watched it soul2000...was interested in his view that the grammar schools don't offer social mobility any more like they used to in his age....I guess what he is decrying is the siphoning off of the more academic children in his area and the fact that he feels others who don't make it risk feeling second tier...despite their better facilities it seems.

Tillory - I agree, public schools attempt to instil leadership and high aspirations as part of their day to day ethos and I would rather my children had these qualities than a desire to be mediocre. Others don't like it when I say it in this way, but I do think the top public schools aim to build a ruling class.

ah forget "ruling class"...that really sounds so antiquated...think aspirational class...which is no bad thing ...how can encouraging aspiration to be a top scientist or entrepreneur or sportsman or musician be a bad thing for a society...like I said i wish it was the ethos in every school

I am sure half the reason may state school candidates (not all as I am sure some are aspirational) don't aspire and even apply to Oxbridge or Ivy League is because their school either don't encourage it or have many role models who have achieved it...very different where it is the norm (i.e. at least 30%) to apply to those unis.

Of course it's the ruling bloody class. Just look at who does the ruling. Still.

I think the problem is, if you know too much about the "little" people (the ones with "mediocre" aspirations), it's harder to make decisions which affect them. It's why the ruling classes protect their own - because they sympathise with each other and understand each other - but can really make some very "tough" (this is a euphemism...) decisions on behalf of the masses.

OK so are the 20% who are on some kind of bursaries at Eton going to be "ruling class" as result of going there ... or are they just beneficiaries of social mobility which people think is no longer being afforded by the grammar school system?

Well, they have a far greater chance of being part of the "ruling class" now, don't they?

I suspect they'll leave the real ruling to the born-to-be elites, though, and will be more likely to go on to teach in and run the public schools from which they benefited, themselves, given that they will be so grateful.

It's a pretty cool system, really - you need some lower tiers who know how to mix with the upper echelons of power and to service their needs. You won't find as many of those in a comprehensive school, so you need to bring them in-house.

I take issue with the view on the thread that looking after your own is wrong. I would say it the primary duty of every parent to feed their child and nurture it rather than abandoning it and looking after the children of others./ That favouring of your own whether it's your husband getting your oldest child a job down the factory or you finding Jenny at 16 a job at the local beauty salon or whatever it might be at any level of earnings it is not wrong. It is a moral good that people help those whom they love.

Don't really need to say anything about islands, do I? Tell you what though, I think NLCS and Habs are shit.