Prep School or Junior-Senior-6thForm School?

[SwimmingMom]

Am at a point where am taking a long term view of my DD's education. She is currently in Year-2 in a private prep school (goes up to year6) and she's happy and the education is good (can't say thrilling, but nothing to complain about). She is bright and clever, but not in the least bit competitive. It may be too soon to say, but am thinking - should we really do the 11+ grammar/senior school battle, or should we move to a different school which goes all the way to 6th Form and save ourselves the heartache. We will still do the 11+ entrances, but maybe not be under much pressure as we would already have a school in hand. Does this route mean that DD will be in a not-so-academically-aggressive Junior school which will diminish her chances of getting into a grammar at 11+? Am I unsettling her by moving her away from her friends and school that she loves?

Am looking at new schools in Twickenham-Hampton-Surbiton, all the usual names.

Anyone out there who can share views please?

I moved my DD at Y4 to a "through" school to avoid having to do entrance exams as I knew (having done it with her sibling) that she just wouldn't hack the pressure. It's the best decision I've made

homebythesea - exactly what am feeling right now.

BTW are you still going to try for 11+ or are you happy with the current school and want to continue with senior in the same place?

Any views on same sex /co-ed schools for girls? Am inclined towards same-sex as I went to one and also I don't have a boy (so no extra school runs!), but is it just me?

No the whole point was to avoid having to move schools!! I'm not sure why you would move to a through school and then still do entrance exams to potentially move again. The through school is unlikely to provide assistance with exam prep, and it would be very disruptive to your DD surely? If you find a through school that you like then stick with it and totally avoid any exam stress!!

My DD is at a straight through school. In year 2 I would have said it would be the right place for to 18. However, 3 years on it is clearly not going to be and she will move in year 6 to another school. I have not ruled out moving her for sixth form either.

What about a prep that goes through to the end of yr 8? At your daughters current age it's hard to know what would be the right school for her when she's 14-15. Also some through schools don't guarantee admission into their senior school. But may not provide that much help finding an alternative if they advise you to find something "more suitable" this happened to a friend and many still expect entrance exams to be sat even if it's just for "setting" or "streaming" not sure which is the correct term.

I've done both, though with boys.

If you move to a 4-18 school, then I think that you have to view this school as your preferred school until at least 16. In reality the school will not do the level of 11 plus preparation that a 4-11 prep school will do. Some children do opt to move at 11, but they are usually in a minority and have a lot of private tutoring. It is a very different experience to one where the head and staff of the prep school are all working with you to get into the school of your choice.

For the right child, it is of course the best decision, and my older child is in the top quartile at his school and enjoying it thoroughly. He would have really struggled with 11+ as he hated tests and got very stressed. He might do better now with 13+.

My friend did 4-18 at a v well-respected girls' private school and is really bitter about being in that 'bubble' for her entire child/youth. She felt totally indoctrinated into that one way of seeing the world, which didn't prepare her at all for 'real life'. That's obviously not always the case, but I think there is a risk that in trying to save our PFBs heartache and upheaval we're not always giving them to skills to deal with life/change. The friends and school that your DD loves in Y2 is great for now, but nothing stays the same and that can often be a good thing.

Surely it's an unusual Yr 2 who could honestly be described as competitive? The concept probably hasn't occurred to her yet.

But, if you are paying for the education of a bright and clever child and their school day is not thrilling, I would suggest that you are at the wrong school.

Ladymuck - thanks for shedding some light on the two different approaches to 11+, I hadn't seen it this way. Certainly something to consider deeply before we jump ship.

pinkdelight - this is actually something am afraid of already. I can see in the Open days, that each school has its own 'flavour' and to be cocooned in that environment without any idea of what's going on outside may leave them unprepared. Also many of these single-sex all through schools have a single class in a year. This means having the same 20-24 girls in your class for so many years. If they like it then great, but if not, then its not a pleasant journey.

Has anyone had a child in the same school from a young age to 6th form and can they share their experience?

Sthingmustbescaringthemaway - perhaps 'competitive' is too strong for a 6 year old, perhaps its just that feeling of 'wanting' to excel at some small tasks - even if its as simple as being the first one to board the school bus. But I have to say I do see children competitive at her age - ones who want to finish work first or simply answer a question first. Simple things and I wouldn't say its a bad quality at all as long as it is focused on positive things & brings out the best in the child.

You've said it right when you say am unhappy with the fees am paying for a bright and clever child who is happy but not being challenged (or revised?) enough and am afraid its making her too relaxed. Am having to do a lot of supplementary work at home to keep up the practice and reinforce what's learnt in class. I wish the school would do more of the core studies and practice & reduce their focus (not entirely) from school plays and extra-curricular activities. Am more inclined to think this after recent visits to other schools' open days where am seeing Y2-Y3 children doing more advanced writing and maths which can only come with more practice in the earlier years.

If you're confident (and not confusing confidence with anything else...) that she could be doing more then you should certainly think about moving her at the soonest "right time."

I concur with pp who suggest that a lifetime in one school is not a good idea for a child who is capable of meeting new challenges. (Just as I would advise an all-the-way-through school for a child that has already had too many ups and downs or who can't manage stress.) IME progressing to new school environments is almost always a positve experience. She should gain more than she loses.

I wouldn't come at this decision from the perspective of potentially avoiding entrance exams at 11+ but rather at finding the right school for your DD at this stage. It sounds as though you do not feel the current school is the best environment for your DD but you do have a wide range of options available around here and whether the schools go through to 18 wouldn't be the factor that would be uttermost in my mind in distinguishing between them.

I am at the other end of this, one at uni, one applying and with overseas moves they have moved schools several times. My younger DD just moved again for sixth form, largely because she was part of a very dysfunctional cohort at her previous school, one of the most selective girls' schools which worked very well for her sister, and it had never really worked for her. She has now exceeded all expectations at a less selective co ed. All the moves have had their positives. I do not see it as a problem at all.

A lot of their friends did move out of the less challenging Preps like Ibstock and St Cs to the eg LEH and Putney Highs simply because they did need more challenge, there are well trodden paths, but then some moved at 11 to other schools which felt like the right choice at that stage, and then possibly again at 16.

So perhaps what you really need is feedback on the options at 7?

Shootingatpigeons - I was getting a bit worked up about whether to think long term or short term & your answer has really simplified it so much. Thank you!

I think the best way ahead is to choose a school which will be best for my DD now & also provide a reasonable option to move out at senior if she needs to. If we are thrilled with the school at year 6 we can always choose to stay.

Thank you everyone for your fantastic inputs! This is my first thread on MN & am so grateful for your advice.