Views needed on private senior schools in South/South East

[Labro]

Hi,
Could use some help.
Looking for independent senior school for my ds for 13+ entry in September 2015.
Will consider most of South/South East
Generous bursary/scholarship package needed
Day school (don't mind boys or co-ed)
No saturday school
Strengths - science, english, art, music (plays 2 instruments currently grade 2) design & technology, history, geography and re, slightly weaker maths but still above average
Doesn't like rugby, plays reasonable football, strong at hockey.

Just been browsing Ewell Castles website - any personal views on their senior school?

Im completely out of the loop when it comes to flexi boarding schools. Bethanys ha been mentioned that might be, Battle school? I think I met someone at a dinner things whose DS was there they seemed happy. Kings Rochester has worked wonders with a friends DS I think that does flexi boarding and I think no Saturday school.

Bradfield's main sport for boys is hockey and they don't have to do much rugby at all, if any. A boy in my class went on to there years ago for precisely that reason.

I too thought of Bradfield but isn't it weekly boarding no flexi boarding I suspect. Also definitely school on Saturday; lessons in the morning games in the afternoon.

I am wondering if you are just asking for too much here. It is very easy to get carried away with what you are looking for. Clearly bright child (but doesnt always do well enough in exams), not particularly outstanding in sport, dont want boarding, want a busary, ex might make things tricky etc etc.

And no Sat school - that's where I really think you will struggle. What a school had lots of what you are looking for but Sat school. Would you dismiss completely

No, wouldn't dismiss completely, but could cause problems with already tricky ex!

Bradfiled boys sports are football, hockey and cricket. Saturday morning school, free to go at 1pm if not involved in school matches. Not sure about flexi boarding but they do have day pupils.

OP has now been told might get into Hurst but only might I would have thought that would exclude Bradfield which I suspect is more academic than Hurst or at least would like to be. Although I suppose if they're struggling to fill their vacancies it might be different.

Ds's school views Bradfield as 'quite academi which I assume means CE at 55-60%.

"Free to go at 1 PM if not involved in a school match"
The problem is that most coed school have nearly all there pupils in some sort of team even if it's only the 6th's so a match on at least every other weekend I would have thought was a strong possibility and if away he may not get back to school till 7pm "tricky ex" partner might not be happy.

Bradfield isn't academic. We send some quite low ability children there.
I have a feeling they might ask for 55% at CE (could be 50, doubt it's 60) which, although it means working at a higher level than chronological age, is normally the level achieved by an average ability child who has been prepared for the exam through prep school. Their website says they 'don't discriminate on any way regarding admissions' - I don't know if that literally means that they'll take everyone though.

Is your son at prep school at the moment OP?

Manic, yes he is.

Will try to bring the different threads of the story together!

Ds currently yr 7 in prep school (started yr 5)
Bombed pre tests for RGS & Reeds.
Following the latest 'bomb' suggestions are

Possibly
Hurst
Lancing

More likely
King Edwards Witley
Duke of Kent
BoxHill
Frensham Heights

Need a bursary or bursary/scholarship combination, until last week was being told 55% CE would be easy. His report this week puts him at level 7A on national curriculum levels for English and Science, level 6 for Maths.

Boarding likely to be a problem, his father won't sign registration forms or bursary applications for day schools let alone boarding ones!

Any other suggestions gratefully received as prepared to move from current location in West Sussex for right school.

Ds very strong in DT, science, english, history, RS, geography, drama, picks up languages easily. Slight weakness in Maths which I didn't know about before.
Does music but not to great level (currently grade 2)
Would prefer not to have Saturday school due to current access arrangements.

I think your going to have to budge or at least your ex is on the Sat school thing. I'm pretty sure Lancing has Sat school and probably Hurst. Have you actually looked at and as importantly spoken the bursar at any of the above about bursaries. I think I might start with the bursar at all of them before even visiting that might shorten your list especially as I think you need a large one. You know the sort of questions do you or have you ever given a bursaries of say 80% to scholars/non scholars?
If its attached to a scholarship its going to be very late in the day before you know many scholarships are not applied for until the Lent term or even early in the the summer term before admission.

Don't know where you I've so going to give you the info on schools we considered in Sussex/Kent.

Lancing does have Saturday school & an expectation that all pupils will attend Sunday church services every few weeks. It was DS's original first choice. He changed after viewing another school. Around 60% board but most are local & flexi boarding could be an option as they allow day pupils to stay over regularly. DS has many friends who attendLancing or who have recently left. Very much a traditional public school with solid academics. We found it a bit too stuffy for our family & were secretly pleased when DS changed his mind on this school.

Hurst I believe is Monday-Friday. Excellent sports, Not as academic as Lancing which is not as academic as Brighton. That said, you get bright kids at all schools.

Didn't like Lewes Old Grammar. Very poor communication to start with which completely put us off & we didn't even view the place. Plus when we asked about Dyslexia support, we never heard back from them. Their loss.

Battle Abbey is another Monday-Friday. DS has friends who went there & who moved to other boarding schools for sixth form.

Tonbridge - all boys & don't think they have Saturday school? Presume they have pre sits as well which you may have already missed,

Sevenoaks are a six day a week school & their attitude is too businesslike for me. I didn't want my son to be a client, he's a pupil/child!

Eastbourne has Saturday school or did when we looked at it a few years ago.

Ditto Ardingly

Bedes is always going to be the school I rave about. About 40% boarding now (the houses are fabulous) & they have weekly boarding. flexi boarding would only be available if they've space I guess? Non selective, but fab for bright pupils. DS left with a clutch of brilliant GCSEs. He was awarded a very generous bursary & they were happy to increase if DS wanted to stay for sixth form. It was Saturday school that put him off which they've now abandoned. Excellent bus service for Kent & Sussex which DS Sometimes used to get home on Saturday. Good for sports, the arts etc.

Brighton very academic & a Monday-Friday mostly day school. Didn't like the HT or the ultra pushy attitude. DS pressures himself enough already.

Good luck with your quest OP. When it comes to bursaries, if you want your child to attend, do what it takes. I practically begged & I'm not ashamed to admit it as it worked. My DCs Would never been able to attend private schools without their bursaries.

Sorry just spotted you saying West Sussex. Hurst Wuld probably be a better fit for you than Lancing.

Tonbridge pretest in Year 6 and given his record thus far I doubt it would suit. Also I'm sure they have sport/dram on Saturdays. Know weekly boarders who just about make it home for Saturday evening and are back late Sunday pm. Ewell Castle, Battle , Eastbourne and Bedes are in the similar range your head has suggested. Have you ever involved an Ed Psych as there seems to be an underperformance issue here and ime Heads do tend to play safe so they can say their pupils got first choice school. You have a year or so to play with so worth getting a handle on what his true potential and strengths are.

There are always Tonbridge boys walking back to the boarding houses in their uniform on a Saturday late morning so I guess they must have had lessons. Not huge swathes as on a weekday but always some

Perhaps they are all on a saturday morning detention

Tonbridge is as academic as Brighton 90%+ got A/A at GCSE and 76%+ A/A at A level they pre test at yr 6 and its day/weekly boarding with Sat school and it's very sporty. It's a fab school but not I suspect suitable.
I've heard good things about Bedes friends nearly sent their DS there but it was a bit to far away they felt it was very caring.
Agree about Lancing being "solid" academically and stuffy (friends who looked at it were very disappointed as it's in a lovely location. It's high church that would put me off instantly. I think I recall hearing from someone at our prep bursaries only for scholars and your DS would have to demonstrate a very good "solid" academic performance to get a scholarship.

From looking at Hurst's website bursaries are really only for scholars.
Your prep school head obviously knows you receive a bursary so he needs to take this into consideration when suggesting a suitable school. We can all bandy around names of local independent schools but if they aren't generous with their bursaries then he's wasting your time and raising your DS's hopes when it might not be a goer. Is he expecting you to do the research into bursaries? I think you should ask him. Is he thinking of somewhere where your DS stands a very good chance of getting a scholarship? I think you need to have an honest conversation with him. Not forgetting to ask him what's changed? Last year your were hoping for a place at RGS now you're looking at non selective schools.

I feel for you Labro- it's hard enough finding a school you think might be right but with additional financial and marital issues on top of that I don't envy you.

You have clearly been spectacularly badly advised by the prep school which has led you to wafer valuable time in the admissions process.

Something doesn't ring true as others have said when a not very selective school (Reeds) advised you to look elsewhere when the Prep are telling you DS is on course for 80% CE. Whether it's worth your time and energy to take this up with the prep is for you- it might give you some satisfaction but not sure where it will get you in practical terms

Given all the difficulties at what point do you say this is just not going to work and you have to accept that your son will need to go to State school?

Wafer = waste

How is your Ds feeling in the midst of all this? (I'm not trying to be annoying and I'm sure you are talking to him...)

The thing is, trying to get what you want would be hard enough even if everything went smoothly. What is the priority here, because you have so many battles to fight at once?

Children talk. He and his friends will know exactly where each of them is in the pecking order - and what they can expect to achieve. Does he have any clear idea about himself? There are so many people he now has to try to please...

(Also, without wishing to be intrusive, are you absolutely clear about the bursary position as regards your ex and any possible expectation that he might contribute to fees? Might this not make it difficult for a school to feel happy about offering a large bursary?)

Try this site and go into advanced search then click on the scholarships tab and tick the bursaries box and it will help whittle down your lsit

eatyoourveg an interesting site but not a replacement for an honest and frank conversation with the bursar. I did a quick search and some on the list provided I know do not offer generous bursaries which the OP is looking for.
Christs of course is the obvious option with an intake at 13+. But of course its full boarding, and selective (although on paper the OP's DS looks bright enough). OP I know your ex is not cooperative but have you actually spoken to them? You cant be the first family there with an uncooperative ex. You could sell it to him by explaining that most full boarding schools have very much longer holidays, many have exeats ie full weekends off every three weeks and I'm pretty sure at Christ's you can come out on Sunday. Its not my cup of tea too much ritual but without a doubt its a good school.

Have you got an ed psych report? They can be very helpful.