? breach of confidentiality

[louise2013]

I have a query for those in the know...

Recently I made enquiries about moving my son to another school in closer proximity to my home. I discussed this possibility with my ex partner.
My son was unaware at this time.

My ex partner then in an informal meeting spoke with teachers in his current school informing them of my inquiries. This was done without my knowledge. I have recently learned he had many informal meetings without my knowledge.

I have been told by an ex school employee, a reliable and good friend of mine that she was then contacted at home by a teacher. She was asked if she knew if i was moving my son, as they had low numbers returning next term therefore effecting funding etc. She was informed that my ex was talking me around but the teacher just wondered if she had anymore info!!

What are my rights in this case?? Can my ex, not the primary carer continue to undermine me with the teachers in this way? I am a good mother with a professional job just trying my best and trying to protect both my sons welfare as well as my own.

Does XP have parental responsibility?

If he has PR (his name is on childs birth certificate and/or if you were married) then the school has an obligation to discuss any matters concerning your son's schooling with the school, particularly if it is a state school as PR gives both parents 'equal rights' to the information. Even if he hasn't got PR, but gives the school the impression that he is involved with his child then the reality is that they will still communicate with him and the only real way around this is for you to communicate any thoughts or ideas involving your childs education to your ex in writing. It is almost impossible for the school to appear to side with you on such matters and even more difficult for them to walk the middle road between disagreeing parents. I had this happen, ex was having confidential 'chats' with a very inexperienced NQT and the teacher nearly lost his job when ex abducted son with what could have been perceived as this teachers ' agreement ' . In your shoes I would ask to see the head, talk this through and ask that you both receive the same communication so that they are not undermining either of you.

Thank you for this advice, yes he has PR. I was just unsure of how to handle it. I wonder can I demand that any communications be with both of us ie ending the informal chats! Do I have the right to do this?

No. You cannot prevent your ex having informal meetings with the school nor can he prevent you from having such meetings.

I would be more concerned that a teacher contacted an ex school employee.

You can ask to be kept 'in the loop' so to speak. You could call the phone ever months for example and ask when he has been in touch, unless there is a child protection order in place he can call them

My situation is slightly different from yours but I did call the school to find out when/if my ex was calling and they let me know what he was asking etc, they now phone me when he calls them.

No, you can't demand that, as above pp says the best thing to do is to ask that they keep you both in the same 'loop' so that both of you should at least receive the same information even if both your intepretations of the information are then different. With moving schools unfortunately its essential to inform exes when the process begins because thats how PR works. Its annoying when schools do this but part of life as a seperated parent I'm afraid.