Reluctant reader

[MarathonMama]

My nephew is young in his school year (he'll be 5 in August). He's learnt all of his letters and phonics and can blend words but is very reluctant reader. My sister is really struggling to get him to try. He says he can't do it (he can) and resists my sisters attempts to encourage him. She reads to him a lot, he loves books, and she doesn't want to discourage this by pushing it.

My father thinks he's being lazy and he just wants my sister to do the reading for him - apparently my father didn't learn to read until he was 8 when my grandmother stopped reading to him. He loved stories but preferred being read to, my father thinks my nephew is the same.

Any advice?

Keep reading to him

Try reading on a morning not at bed time (assuming he is being read to at bed time) when he is not tired.

Get him reading instructions, for anything, baking a cake, making a model, playing a game.

Learning to read is a process that takes time. A child doesn't switch from 'can't read' to 'can read' overnight. I would imagine your father had reached a level of competance by the age of 8 where he could enjoy reading for himself, so no longer need your grandmother to read to him, rather than your grandmother stopping suddenly enabling him to read.

Your nephew is still near the start of the process. Attempting to read will still be more of an effort than a pleasure. Of course your sister should continue to read the books he enjoys to him. I don't see a problem - he isn't even 5 yet.

Thanks, I totally agree, my dad's quite opinionated and my sister can be timid and listens to him (he's an ex-teacher). She's worried he's right. She hasn't made any parent friends at the school, she's very shy, so has no one else to compare him to.

He might enjoy reading a comic, instead of a book, to give him a little more confidence.

I think a comic is a great suggestion. Other options are a joke book or a children's atlas. I think it helps some children when the reading is in "shorter bursts" IYKWIM?
I'd also second reading anything and everything, e.g. Recipes, instructions, etc. My DD has a very odd interest in road signs!

I take the drip drip approach. Odd words here and there, or DS and I take turns with words, I might ask him to read one word on a page in the story, for instance. In his reading book I might do one page and he does the next, that kind of thing.

I have DS's reading record from year R and year 1
the frustration of his teachers drips off every page
the little sod could clearly comprehend but chose not to read.
We were stuck on the basic Biff and Chip books for effing ages : we used to "read" them backwards to reduce the chance of memorising.
And then, one day in year 2, he decided it was time to read.
He got a 3 in his KS1 sats
and has excelled at reading ever since.
Bloody minded little so and so.
He's taller than me now.
I love him to bits.
He's still stubborn : but is a voracious reader .

Joke books is an excellent suggestion!

Yes, would second ( or third ) reading recipes or instructions to make things. My reluctant reader couldn't see the point of stories - but loves 'doing' things. A list to go shopping with is another way of reading ( and writing ) if you get dc to make the list as well.

There are some great funny poetry books as well. They are shorter and so less daunting I think.

Others are right, she should tell your dad to ssh. Honestly it makes me so mad when people put pressure on such young kids. All that matters is to keep his love of books going and not make him feel inadequate. My reluctant reader was sub normal levels in reception and year 1, but now he's in top groups in yr4. It took him until yr2 to start to read properly. It's really not that unusual.

The greatest danger is in putting under so much pressure he decides he hates reading. He is a baby with plenty of time to learn.

DS1 (now 17) was a fluent reader before he was 5.
I therefore expected DS2 to be the same. He wasn't.
After a few months of school I realised that reading had become such a stress point, me wanting him to try harder - him simply hating it, that I changed tack altogether. I went to see the teacher and told her that we would not be reading at home for a while as he was losing the joy of books.
I read to him, lots, but left it to school to teach him. Now my DCs started school some years ago when they taught the 3 rs in reception, so it may be different now.
DS2 was probably 6 before the penny dropped but he raced away after that. And now guess which one is the book lover?

Kepp on reading to him. But not everyone is that into books. My two are completely unalike, one's a reader one isn't. They both had the same intro to books. Interestingly, it's the dyslexic that is the reader.... just takes him forever to read a book,but he enjoys the story and the creativity.

My belief is that it is the school's job to teach my children to read, it is my job to make them want to do it and to love books. AT 5, that involved reading to them so they could see that a book holds a story.

Quite frankly, most books for new readers are dull beyond belief and do nothing to encourage a love of reading. By reading to the child, you can access exciting stories too complicated for them to read themselves.