Calling all parents in Bromley/Kent - please tell me DH is being unreasonable

[mumtosp]

Hi all,

We have been thinking of moving either to Sutton or Bromley as both have excellent primary and secondary schools and are an easy commute into the city. We are partial towards Bromley as the commute is shorter and frankly we love the area (from what we have seen so far)

But DH is concerned that we may not fit in. We have seen houses in Petts Wood, Chislehurst and the surrounding areas and on our house hunting visits we noticed that these areas were predominantly white. We are Indians :) DH is concerned that we may not have much of a social circle if we move to Bromley... not because the predominantly white crowd is snobbish or racist, but simply because our interests may not match. He is also worried that DS may be one of the few 'brown' children in his school - especially if he manages to get into one of the grammar schools (fingers crossed)

I think DH is being unreasonable - I think we wouldn't have any trouble fitting in and will also make friends once we are actually there. And even if DS is the only 'brown' child in his school, so what.

So my question to you is.... would you be friends with us (the assumption here is that we are nice and friendly ;)) and would your DC be friends with our DS ???

I would really appreciate a frank answer... If you want to say 'No' that's ok... I will not consider it racist... I completely understand that people from different cultures sometimes don't mix....

Thanks :)

I have friends and family in that part of the SE, I don't think you will feel like the 'odd ones out' at all! There is a good mix of nationalities in most of the London boroughs now.

come down here and say hello! i'm in orpington. i don't think there will be any trouble. my dd goes to pre school and there is a mix of nationalities.

plus i've only been here a few months so a friendly face would be nice lol

issypiggly I may well be seeing you soon :)

Bromley has really gone down hill over the last 10 years! DH comes from there and all his friends and family have moved away due to it changing so much!

I live in one of the places you have mentioned.

There are lots of Indian people (and all other nationalities) in the area, as in all London boroughs.

I think you will find there is a higher proportion of Indian children at the grammars than the comps, as well.

There is a little boy in my dds class with a different heritage, and we are in a predominately white area don't think the children have even noticed the difference in skin colour tbh.

I would be quite happy to be friends with you, and my dd is happy to play with anyone who is happy to play with her.

Forgot to say, I would be your friend.

My DC have friends who are Indian, Russian, Iranian, Nigerian, Greek, German, French, Irish, (I have probably missed some) as well as English.

I'm a Bromley SAHM, I do some tutoring and all 3 of my teenagers are bright Asian kids at local grammars. A close friend and fellow SAHM is from South Asia too. Not even remotely an issue, especially in the middle classes. I suspect that as in many places (Bexley springs to mind in particular) that any racism is amongst working classes.

Er that was all a bit blunt but that's hopefully what you wanted is a lovely area too with plenty of activities for all ages too.

Thanks for the lovely and positive responses everyone :)
A big nonMN hug to everyone !! (Haven't been on MN very long, but I've been led to believe that a MN hug isn't a good thing... not sure why tbh )

Madamecastafiore when you say down hill, would you know the exact reason.... is it crime rates ? or schools not being as good as they used to be ?

YoniOno are any of these kids at St. Olave's ?? The reason I am asking is that recently a friend's daughter rejected an offer from St. Olave's saying that it was too snobbish... and she's white ...

I grew up there 25 years ago and went to the grammar school. DH went to private school. We both had friends who were Indian, DH had many! It can only have got better since then I would imagine in terms of ethnic mix.

The area has gone downhill though so be careful where you buy. Bromley and Orpington used to be nice, now they are what Lewisham was 20 years ago. Lower rent shops have replaced higher for instance. Parts are still lovely though, Old Chislehurst for example.

St Olaves is the boys grammar maybe she didn't reject it after all!
Newstead is the girls grammar. One word of caution, those particular schools are super selective- you have to score really highly in the 11 plus to go. They have no real catchment area so you don't have to live next door.

I'm a stones throw away from your list of places. Yes you will be a minority, but added to other minorities, including Afro Caribbean, Russian, Eastern Europeans etc, then less of a minority and part of a cultural mix. I think racism is how you perceive it sometimes, my dd for example knows her friend has brown skin, sort of knows it is impolite to ask why it's brown but plays with her nonetheless. If she said why is your skin brown, her parents wouldn't take offence.

I agree with Yoni, but I have seen some 'shunning' from one white "middle class" family that none of the Indian children were invited to a class birthday party. More fool them, everyone noticed - now their child is lacking invites.

I too would be your friend

And St Olaves is a boys school so your friend may be exaggerating. Newstead Woods is the girls grammar.
Both are super selective, top 5 % and for a certain sort of child, swotty ones. Other comps in Bromley are excellent. And you can usually get into Bexley grammars depending where in Bromley borough you live.

Check the stations, Bromley North is not as great as you may think, you have to change train to get to London.

I'll be your friend. We have a Burmese family and at least three other families who aren't white living on our road.

Ah... I should have mentioned that she was applying to the sixth form... St. Olave's takes girls in the sixth form...

There is a prep school called St Olaves. It's coed, and has boing to do with the boys' grammar. I expect that's the school your friend rejected.

boing nothing!

Oh, sorry, x posted

Hi viewing a property in st mary cray in the morning- Dream house or hidden nightmare.

The comments online of St mary cray are damming.. I thought. Then I realised that people who tend to like somewhere don't usually RANT online.
I have these questions u hope you can help me with.

• Commute to East London for school work, is it worth it?
• Racism? I'm black British with mixed heritage children.
• Burning cars and stolen dogs- is this a real big issue or exaggeration?

I hope someone can help I have to confirm by Wednesday.

I'm from Bexleyheath living in Sidcup. I went to Chis and did grammar school in Sidcup and it was v mixed.

Maybe st Olave's prep in new Eltham is where your friend looked at.
I didn't look there but we looked at Benedict house (which was lovely and v mixed), and west lodge which we chose for our son. It doesn't seem snobby at all (well we aren't so hope it's not), and also v mixed.

Sorry but being diplomatic there are better places to live than at Mary cray.

Hi viewing a property in st mary cray in the morning- Dream house or hidden nightmare

Nightmare. Seriously. Dont. My DH lived by. Anyone I know from Bromley says no. It is a horrible place to live - sorry to anyone who lives there.

Whereabouts in east london is your commute? I used to commute to moorgate/old street/angel no probs from Sidcup.