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Original poster

Would You Move House To Be In The Catchment Area of A Better School?

19 replies

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 13:27

That's it really. My dd starts middle school this year but the high school in my village is not getting a very good reputation at the moment - weak headmistress apparently. My dd would be devasted to leave the village and all her friends. Ds is due to start at the school nursery in January - nursery places are like gold dust around here - so if we moved we would need to start the process all over again. The town were are thinking of moving too has a better high school, but would dd be happy? Do we place a school over her happiness?

Arrghh - help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

spidermama · 28/04/2006 13:31

I used to consider this regularly but am getting more settled now.

A quick word of warning ...
My friend moved away and her 6 year old vivacious, bright, friendly ds really suffered. He became withdrawn and outcast at his new school. The whole family really suffered for the best part of a year. Things appear to be settling down for him now, but it can take a long time to recover from that sort of disruption.

Original poster

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 13:34

Thanks for that Spidermama. This is what I fear for dd - she has her only little clique and I don't think she would take kindly to leaving them behind. Dh doesn't see it like that though he just wants her to have a good education and would up sticks tomorrow to move her. We have a big barny about it all last night.

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EvesMama · 28/04/2006 13:34

we are!
and its nursery school my dd's going too!
she started yesterday and absolutely loves it!, ill be leaving her for full session tuesday as she says im in the way

Original poster

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 13:36

Oh I would too Evemamma if she had been younger but she is nearly 8.

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EvesMama · 28/04/2006 13:42

ah, i see your problem...how does she feel about moving?does she have some very close firends there? and at the end of the day, will her current school give her what she needs education wise?

Polgara2 · 28/04/2006 13:48

How far away is the town from where you are now? Could you not move but keep her at her current school for a bit longer until she makes new friends and feels more comfortable. You could enrol her at a local brownies type of thing? Or just how bad is your current local high school really, what sort of bad reputation, league tables aren't everything and it does depend on the indivudual child to some extent.

Polgara2 · 28/04/2006 13:49

Oops posted too soon . We are in the process of moving to get dds into better secondary school but fortunately it doesn't require them to change primary.

threelittlebabies · 28/04/2006 13:51

I have done so, but pre school and same area IYSWIM. Good luck with your decision

Original poster

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 13:52

She is friends with a group of another 5 girls - if you ask her to choose a "best" friend - she can't because she says she can't choose between them. I have not asked her about moving yet because I know how much it would upset her to be apart from these girls who she has known since she was 2.5. The new school would be about twice the size of what she is used to. The current school is not that bad academically it really just seems to be the headmistress who can't deal very well with occasional blips.

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Polgara2 · 28/04/2006 13:57

Well no school is perfect and headteachers do change. Without knowing whatever you know it doesn't sound as if it would be that bad really. Children are at school for a long time during the day, it counts for a lot in my book if they are happy whilst they are there, and they will be far more receptive to learning if they are. Obviously if the school was really bad then you would just have to take the bull by the horns but you need to be really sure.

Original poster

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 14:13

I wish I could just gaze into a crystal ball. Thanks everyone

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granarybeck · 28/04/2006 14:24

Could you not move now to get a place at the good secondary school but take her to her old primary? At secondary even when they have close friends, they are often in different classes and make new friends.

We are thinking of moving and having similar dilemmas. I swing from thinking they'd setle fine to whether it would traumatise them for life. My dd is same age.

Original poster

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 14:30

We could move now and let her stay at the village middle school which she starts in September and just ferry her back and forth but the problem then becomes ds. The first school she currently attends has an excellent nursery attached to it which ds hopefully will be able to start at in January (he is 3 in December) because they numbers are under subscribed for September 2006, he would also be eligible for another full year there starting September 2007. IYSWIM

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granarybeck · 28/04/2006 14:39

Ah. i see. I missed the middle school bit.

I think it depends how bad the secondary school is. We moved when ds was in nursery to be near better school. With hindsight, I think we panicked a bit and they probably would have been fine there. At the time the secondary school there wasn't doing very well, but when i look now higher achieving kids do do well and they feed into an excellent sixth form college. So end result as it where may have been better. I think at the time it can be easy to panic about schools as you strongly want what is best for your children, but i do think its important to look at the whole picture of friends, distance to schools, area etc.

Original poster

Fimbo · 28/04/2006 17:08

GB - could you come round and talk to my dh please! He just doesn't get the "friends" bit at all. He thinks she can just carry on and meet up with them at the weekend but it wouldn't be the same. The same for her after school activities - I can just ferry her around to them all. So I would be spending all my time/life in the village but live elsewhere.

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MadamePlatypus · 28/04/2006 23:08

I am no where near your stage with DS, but based on my own school experience I would stay put. Peer influence is very important at this stage and if she has a nice bunch of friends to knock around with and is happy, I think this counts for more than having a good headmistress. On the other hand, even with brilliant teachers, if you are unsettled it is very hard to learn.

AngelaD · 28/04/2006 23:35

I would rate the school over friends look at the bigger picture and think will she care about these people in 20 years time, will she care about her exam results in 20 years time ??

MadamePlatypus · 29/04/2006 12:01

Hmm, I sincerely wish I could forget some of my classmates, and I am still in fairly regular contact with about 20 of them almost 20 years later.

On the other hand I also have regular dreams about having to re-sit my history A-level...

I would say that my school experience was affected 1st by peer group, close 2nd by subject teachers and 3rd by head teacher.

granarybeck · 01/05/2006 10:02

Fimbo, funnily, I was just talking to my dh about this and he said pretty much what AngelaD said. He said he moved school and area at 9 or 10 and left his friends. He said it was really difficult. So I was thinking hmm yes we really shouldn't take ours away from their school and friends. BUT then, he said that he is now so glad that his parents did move because he knows he did so much better from going to a better secondary school compared to staying in touch with his friends when he was nine...

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