Change of school?

[maddiemo]

My ds3 is in year 3. He attended the on site Infant school and is now in the Junior school. The two schools have different headteachers, they have a good transfer policy but have different approaches.
Ds3 is a loner. He is a very quiet child and is very unhappy in the Junior school. The problem seems to be that the school is just too noisy and boisterous for him. He spend his break and lunch times sitting in the quiet area playing card ganmes. In the classroom he says he is unable to concentrate beacause of noise. Academically he is very able but he is losing interest aand motivation. Every morning he has a stomach upset and cries, yesterday he cried at school and sat at the office until lunch was finished.
The school really does suit outgoing children. My ds1 is year 6 and loves it. I have to admit when I have been in it is very noisy, it is a very large school and is not as structured and calm as the infant school.
I have spoken to his teacher and have today written to her.
Ds3 has asked to move to a new school. I am worried that if we do this we may just transfer the problem. I really don't know what to do.

What did the class teacher say?

where would the other school be/
Far away?

I wouldnt think you would transfer the prob - you need to choose the right school for your sons nature

I used to work at a huge school - very strict and regimented, People smetimes sent really artistic Imaginative kids there who hated it because it was the wrong type of environment for them

I know it's obvious, but are you sure he's not being picked on/bullied? Was he upset last term? Similarly, if he's in a large, noisy class is he getting adequate attention from the teacher?

I feel very strongly that not all schools are right for all kids, even when the schools concerned are very good. Is it possible for you to send him to a different school (I'm guessing that although DS1 will transfer to high school soon, you must have a DS2 at the juniors too?) Also, are there any smaller, perhaps single class entry schols near you? In my area the LEA prefers large schools, our catchment infants has 600 kids! so smaller schools are hard to find.

I think if I were you I'd want to check out my options whilst trying to ensure that there's not something else about the school that's upsetting him so much. I found the idea of him sat in the office crying unbearable, it must be really hard for you.

Hello codswallop. Whoops, I am actually talking about ds2.
The teacher has said she will keep an eye on him. She has no worries about him but knows he is very quiet.
The school he would like to look at is where my ds3 attends a sn unit. My ds3 is in the infants so it would be the junior mainstream school. It is a smaller school and certainly the infants is very structured and calm. I have made an appointment to look at the junior school in the next few weeks.
Transport would not be a problem, would drive and it means I could take ds3 rather than him using LEA transport.
He is just so quiet I am worried about him becoming more withdrawn.

But why would that happen?

does he have intersts outside school?

wouldnt it be nice to have them together?

Marialuisa- Yes I agree each child has different needs and not all schools suit all. I don't think he is being bullied have asked him in lots of different ways about any problems there may be. He is a very serious child and tends to take things very literally, so seems a bit of an outsider. There is 32 in his class and that the
usual number where I live. I think his current teacher is quiet herself, his previous teachers all had big personalities and I wonder if that makes a difference.
Codswallop he has football on a Saturday with his big brother. He isn't a big joiner but has just agreed to join a new lunchtime workforce group at school, making things,cleaning cars etc. I think he would be happier if he is kept busy at lunchtime.
I think he thinks ds3 school sounds much nicer. In the Infants they do a lot more events involving parents. Ds3 won a prize recently for a picture and we were invited to watch. The headteacher is very ott (in a nice way) and they really build the childrens self esteem. Ds2 school never single individual children out for attention and I wonder if he feels he is missing out. I do know that ds3 gets alot of attention because of his sn. He is in a tiny class with lots of support and we have alot of contact with the staff. I have told ds2 that he would be in a mainstream class with 31 others and it would not be the same as it is for ds2.
It just is such a shock to see how unhappy he is. We have been so busy sorting out secondary schools for ds1 and ds3 is autistic and keeps us busy. We also have a ds4(and two stepchildren). I feel that I have been a neglectful mum
He is hard work to talk to and when i was reading with him last night I realised how much quieter he ha become. When we talked about school he was fighting to hold back tears. I feel that we have not paid him much attention recently and really don't want to get things wrong for him now.

It sounds as if you are trying to sort things out. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to manage the differing needs of 6 kids, don't beat yourself up too much. TBH he sounds like one of my sisters "still waters run deep" and all that. At least he knows you are trying to improve things for him.

Maddie mo _ ithink you sound great. You certainly have your hands full - all those bOys! I have three but4! wow.

Let us know what happens